Arousal: The Secret Logic of Sexual FantasiesSexual fantasies. Everyone has them, but no one knows what they mean. People are curious about and often confused by the things that arouse them, yet they are often too ashamed to reveal their most private fantasies to their partners or even their therapists. In this fascinating and provocative book, Dr. Michael J. Bader offers a groundbreaking new theory of sexual desire, one that will liberate men and women and enable them to better understand their sexual preferences. |
From inside the book
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... experience , " counteracting my harsh internal critic time and time again . Most of all , however , it has been my twelve - year association with Joe Weiss - mentor , confidant , supervisor , and role model - that is pri- marily ...
... their true feelings to each other . My theory about the causes of sexual arousal is grounded in my clinical experience as a psychotherapist and psychoanalyst . But while it draws from the work of many other workers in 2 | AROUSAL.
... experience of sexual pleasure . If we under- stand the workings of the mind , the mysterious desires of the human heart suddenly become more explicable . It is the mind that tells the heart who to desire and how best to fulfill that ...
... experience of excitement . There are intermediate steps , however . A complicated process intervenes between stimulus and response . The thing itself - the exciting picture , story , position , or behavior - isn't automatically arousing ...
... experience of attraction , an experience that feels entirely spontaneous . To say that a particular trait or image " fits the bill , " however , only raises again the central question that this book is attempting to answer : what ...
Contents
HOW SEX WORKS | 17 |
GUILT WORRY AND INHIBITION | 24 |
GUILT RUTHLESSNESS AND SEXUAL EXCITEMENT | 29 |
SHAME HELPLESSNESS AND SEXUAL EXCITEMENT | 36 |
IDENTIFICATION TRANSFERENCE AND SEXUAL EXCITEMENT | 41 |
SOLVING THE PROBLEMS OF IDENTIFICATION AND TRANSFERENCE WITH SEXUAL FANTASIES | 45 |
OVERLAPPING FANTASIES | 47 |
SEXUAL FANTASIES AS ANTIDOTES TO GUILT AND WORRY | 50 |
THE PEEPING TOM | 136 |
PHOTOGRAPHING AND VIDEOTAPING SEX | 137 |
BODY TYPES AND SEXUAL AROUSAL | 139 |
GAY MEN AND SEXUAL AROUSAL IN HETEROSEXUAL WOMEN | 141 |
SEXUAL PLEASURE AND BOREDOM IN RELATIONSHIPS | 142 |
THE NATURAL DECLINE OF SEXUAL INTEREST | 144 |
INTIMACY AND SEXUAL RUTHLESSNESS | 147 |
PATHOGENIC BELIEFS AND SEXUAL COMPATIBILITY | 154 |
THE CASE OF JAN | 51 |
THE CASE OF MANNY | 58 |
THE CASE OF ROBERT | 61 |
THE CASE OF MATT | 64 |
FETISHISM AND SEXUAL AROUSAL | 69 |
THE CASE OF BOB | 73 |
BORN TO LOSE SEXUAL FANTASIES AS ANTIDOTES TO SHAME AND REJECTION | 80 |
THE STORY OF ESTHER | 82 |
IDENTIFICATION AND THE PROBLEMS OF SEXUAL AROUSAL | 90 |
THE CASE OF GLENN | 92 |
OTTO AND HIS FIXATION ON YOUTH | 98 |
THE CASE OF AMANDA | 104 |
SAFETY AND THE SEXUALIZATION OF ABUSE | 112 |
FROM THE CONVENTIONAL TO THE BIZARRE INTERPRETING SEXUAL FANTASIES | 115 |
MASOCHISM AND SEXUAL AROUSAL | 117 |
GOLDEN OR BROWN SHOWERS | 120 |
MEN WEARING WOMENS PANTIES | 121 |
DIAPERED AND TREATED LIKE A BABY | 122 |
ASPHYXIATION FANTASIES | 123 |
DOMINANCE AND SEXUAL AROUSAL | 124 |
RAPE FANTASIES | 126 |
MASTERSLAVE RELATIONSHIPS | 127 |
INCEST FANTASIES | 128 |
MULTIPLE PARTNERS | 132 |
GANG RAPE | 135 |
THE CASE OF MARK AND BETSY | 157 |
THE CASE OF JIM AND LAURA | 163 |
THE CASE OF ROB AND NICOLE | 168 |
THE PROBLEM OF THE GOOD WIFE | 171 |
THE ROLE OF SEXUAL FANTASIES IN PSYCHOTHERAPY | 180 |
SHAME SELFACCEPTANCE AND SEXUAL FANTASIES IN PSYCHOTHERAPY | 183 |
THE ROLE OF PATHOGENIC BELIEFS IN PSYCHOTHERAPY | 189 |
SAFETY TESTING AND CHANGE IN PSYCHOTHERAPY | 197 |
MECHANISMS OF CHANGE IN PSYCHOTHERAPY | 204 |
SEXUAL FANTASIES ARE DIFFICULT TO CHANGE | 210 |
THE SOCIAL MEANING OF SEXUAL FANTASIES | 218 |
BLAMING THE PARENTS AND THE ABUSE EXCUSE | 223 |
GENDER DIFFERENCES IN SEXUAL FANTASY | 233 |
WHAM BAM THANK YOU MAAMTHE PSYCHOLOGY OF OBJECTIFICATION | 240 |
WILL YOU STILL LOVE ME TOMORROW?PATHOGENIC BELIEFS AND THE IDEALIZATION OF ROMANTIC LOVE IN WOMEN | 247 |
THE PERSONAL FINALLY MEETS THE POLITICAL | 255 |
THE FUTURE OF SEX FINAL REFLECTIONS UNANSWERED QUESTIONS | 258 |
AN ADAPTIVE ILLUSION OR DANGEROUS ADDICTION? | 263 |
WILL THERE BE SEXUAL FANTASIES AFTER THE REVOLUTION? | 276 |
THE VALUE OF UNDERSTANDING SEXUAL FANTASIES | 279 |
THE EMPERORS NEW CLOTHES AND THE MEANING OF SEXUAL FANTASY | 283 |
REFERENCES | 287 |
289 | |
Other editions - View all
Arousal: The Secret Logic of Sexual Fantasies Michael Bader,Michael J. Bader No preview available - 2003 |