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Man. Pray, sir, be patient; 'tis as much im
possible (Unless we sweep them from the door with cannons,) To scatter them, as 'tis to make them sleep On May-day morning; which will never be: We may as well push against Paul's, as stir them.
Port. How got they in, and be hang’d?
Man. Alas, I know not; How gets the tide in? As much as one sound cudgel of four foot (You see the poor remainder) could distribute, I made no spare, sir. Port.
You did nothing, sir. Man. I am not Sampson, nor sir Guy, nor Colbrand, to mow them down before me: but, if I spar'd any, that had a head to hit, either
young or old, he or she, cuckold or cuckold-maker, let me never hope to see a chine again; and that I would not for a cow, God save her.
[Within.] Do you hear, master Porter?
Port. I shall be with you presently, good master puppy.-Keep the door close, sirrah. Man. What would
have me do? Port. What should you do, but knock them down by the dozens? Is this Moorfields to muster in? or have we some strange Indian with the great tool come to court, the women so besiege us? Bless me, what a fry of fornication is at door! On my christian conscience, this one christening will beget a thousand; here will be father, godfather, and all together.
Man. The spoons will be the bigger, sir. There is a fellow somewhat near the door, he should be a
'Tis ten to one, this play can never please All that are here: Some come to take their ease, , And sleep an act or two; but those, we fear, We have frighted with our trumpets; so, 'tis clear, They'll say, 'tis naught: others, to hear the city Abus'd extremely, and to cry,—that's witty! Which we have not done neither: that, I fear, All the expected good we are like to hear For this play at this time, is only in The merciful construction of good women; For such a one we show'd them; If they smile, And say, 'twill do, I know, within a-while All the best men are ours; for 'tis ill hap, If they hold, when their ladies bid them clap.
If ever you prove false to one another, since I have taken such pains to bring you together, let all pitiful goers-between be called to the world's end after my name, call them all-Pandars; let all inconstant men te Troilus's, all false women Cressids, and all brokersbetween Pandars! say, amen.