whole Indies who lives more plentifully than myself; nor who enjoys the neceffaries of life in fo handsome a

manner.

Trap. There it is now. Who ever heard a man of fortune in England talk of the neceffaries of life? If the neceffaries of life would have fatisfied fuch a poor body as me, to be fure I had never come to mend my fortune to the plantations. Whether we can afford it or no, we must have fuperfluities. We never ftint our expence to our own fortunes, but are miserable if we do not live up to the profufeness of our neighbours. If we could content ourselves with the neceffaries of life, no man alive ever need be dishonest. As to woman now; why, look ye, Mr. Ducat, a man hath what we may call every thing that is neceffary in a wife.

Duc. Ay, and more!

Trap. But for all that, d'ye fee, you married men are my best customers. It keeps wives upon their good behaviour.

Duc. But there are jealoufies and family lectures, Mrs. Trapes.

Trap. Blefs us all! how little are our customs known on this fide the herring-pond! Why, jealoufy is out of fashion even among our common country gentlemen. I hope you are better bred than to be jealous. A hufband and wife fhould have a mutual complaifance for each other. Sure, your wife is not fo unreafonable to expect to have you always to herself.

Duc. As I have a good eftate, Mrs. Trapes, I would willingly run into every thing that is fuitable to my dignity and fortune. Nobody throws himself into the extravagancics of life with a freer fpirit. As to confcience and mufty morals, I have as few drawbacks upon my profits or pleasures as any man of quality in England; in those I am not in the leaft vulgar. Befides, Madam, in most of my expences I run into the polite tafte. I have a fine library of books that I never read; I have a fine ftable of horses that I never ride; I build, I buy plate, jewels, pictures, or any thing that is valuable and curious, as your great men do, merely, out of oftentation. But indeed I must own, I do still cohabit with my wife;

4

and

and she is very uneafy and vexatious upon account of my vifits to you.

Frap. Indeed, indeed, Mr. Ducat, you fhould break through all this ufurpation at once, and keep. Now too is your time; for I have a fresh cargo of ladies juft arrived nobody alive fhall fet eyes upon 'em till you have provided yourself. You fhould keep your lady in awe by her maid; place a handfome, fprightly wench near your wife, and fhe will be a spy upon her into the bargain. I would have you fhew yourself a fine gentleman in every thing.

Duc. But I am fomewhat advanc'd in life, Mrs. Trapes, and my duty to my wife lies very hard upon me; I must leave keeping to younger husbands and old bachelors.

Trap. There it is again now! Our very vulgar purfue pleasures in the flush of youth and inclination, but our great men are modifhly profligate when their appetite hath left them.

Trap. When love in the pulfe beats low,
(As haply it may with you)

A girl can fresh youth bestow,
And kindle defire anew.
Thus, numb'd in the brake,
Without motion, the fnake
Sleeps cold winter away :
But in every vein
Life quickens again
On the bofom of May.

We are not here, I must tell you, as we are at London, where we can have fresh goods every week by the wag.. gon. My maid is again gone aboard the vellel; the is perfectly charmed with one of the ladies; it will be as credit to you to keep her. I have obligations to you, Mr. Ducat, and I would part with her to no man alive but yourself. If I had her at London, fuch a lady would be fufficient to make my fortune; but, in truth,. fhe is not impudent enough to make herself agreeable to the failors in a public houfe in this country. By all ac counts, the hath a behaviour only fit for a private family.

Duc. But how fhall I manage matters with my. wife? Trap. Juft as the fine gentlemen do with us Ve could bring you many great precedents for treating a wife with indifference, contempt, and neglect. but that, indeed, would be running into too high life. I would: have you keep fome decency, and ufe her with civility. You fould be so obliging as to leave her to her liberties, and take them to yourfelf. Why, all our fine ladies, in what they call pin money, have no other views; it is what they all expect.

Duc. But I am afraid' it will be hard to make my wife think like a gentlewoman upon this, fubject; fo that if I take her, I must act difcreetly, and keep the affair a dead fecret.

Trap. As to that, Sir, you may do as you pleafe. Should it ever come to her knowledge, cuftom and education perhaps may make her at first think it fomewhat odd. But this I can affirm with a fafe confcience, that many ladies of quality have fervants of this fort in their families, and you can afford an expence as well as the best of them.

Duc. I have a fortune, Mrs. Trapes, and would fain make a fashionable figure in life; if we can agree upon the price, I'll take her into the family.

Trap. I am glad to fee you fling yourfelf into the polite tatte with a fpirit. Few, indeed have the turn or talents to get money; but fewer know how to spend it handfomely after they have got it. The elegance of luxury confifts in variety, and love requires it as much as any of our appetites and paffions, and there is a

time of life when a man's appetite ought to be whetted by a delicacy.

Duc. Nay, Mrs. Trapes, now you are too hard upon me. Sure, you cannot think me fuch a clown as to be really in love with my wife! We are not fo ignorant here as you imagine; why, I married her in a reasonable way, only for her money.

AIR III. Noel Hills.

He that weds a beauty
Soon will find her cloy;
When pleasure grows a duty,
Farewel love and joy ::
He that weds for treafure
(Though he hath a wife)
Hath chofe one lafting pleafure
In a married life.

Enter Damaris.

Damaris [Calling at the door.] Damaris, I charge you not to ftir from the door, and the inftant you fee your lady at a diflance, returning from her walk, be fure to give me notice.

Trap. She is in most charming rigging; fhe won't coft you a penny, Sir, in clothes at first fetting out. But alack a day! no bargain could ever thrive with dry lips a glafs of liquor makes every thing go fo glibby.

Duc. Here, Damaris; a glass of rum for Mrs. Dye. [Damaris goes out, and returns with a bottle and glass. Trap. But as I was faying, Sir, I would not part with her to any body alive but yourself; for, to be Ture, I could turn her to ten times the profit by jobb's and chance customers. Come, Sir, here's to the young lady's health.

Enter Flimzy.

Well, Flimzy; are all the ladies fafely landed, and have you done as I ordered you?

Film. Yes, Madam. The three ladies for the run of the house are safely lodg'd at home; the other is without in the hall to wait your commands. She is a

B 2

moft

moft delicious creature, that's certain. Such lips, fuch eyes, and fuch flesh and blood! If you had her in London you could not fail of the custom of all the foreign minifters. As I hope to be fav'd, Madam, I was forc'd to tell her ten thousand lies before I could prevail upon her to come with me. Oh, Sir, you are the most luc- ky, happy man in the world! Shall I go call her in?

Trap. 'Tis neceffary for me, first to inftruct her in her duty and the ways of the family. The girl is bashful and modeft, fo I muft beg leave to prepare her by a little private conversation; and afterwards, Sir, I fhall leave you to your private conversations.

Flim. But, I hope, Sir, you won't forget poor Flimzy; for the richest man alive could not be more fcrupulous than I am upon these occafions, and the bribe only can make me excufe it to my confcience. I hope, Sir, you will pardon my freedom. [He gives her money.

AIR IV. Sweetheart, think upon me.

My confcience is of courtly mold,

Fit for highest station.

Where's the hand, when touch'd with gold,

Proof against temptation?

[Exit Flimzy.

Duc. We can never fufficiently encourage fuch useful qualifications. You will let me know when you are ready for me.

[Exit. Trap. I wonder I am not more wealthy; for o' my confcience, I have as few fcruples as thofe that are ten thousand times as rich. But, alack-a-day! I am forc'd to play at small game. I now and then betray and ruin an innocent girl. And what of that? Can I in confcience expect to be equally rich with those who betray and ruin provinces and countries? In troth, all their great fortunes are owing to fituation; as for genius and capacity I can match them to a hair: were they in my circumstance, they would act like me; were I in theirs, I fhould be rewarded as a most profound penetrating politician.