Trap. What a fhape is there! the's of the finest growth. Duc. You make me mif-reckon. She even takes off my eyes from gold. Trap. What a curious pair of fparkling eyes! Duc. As vivifying as the fun. I have paid you ten. Trap. What a racy flavour muft breathe from those Tips! Duc. I want no provoking commendations. I'm in 'youth; I'm on fire! Twenty more makes it thirty; and this here makes it just fifty. Trap. What a moft inviting complexion! how charming a colour! In fhort, a fine woman has all the perfections of fine wine, and is a cordial that is ten times as restorative. Duc. This fifty then makes it just the fum. So now, Madam, you may deliver her up. Enter Damaris. Dama. Sir, Sir, my mistress is juft at the door. [Ex. Duc. Get you out of the way this moment, dear Mrs. Dye; for I would not have my wife fee you. But don't ftir out of the house till I am put in poffeffion. I'll get rid of her immediately. Enter Mrs. Ducat. [Exit Trapes. Mrs. Duc. I can never be out or the way, for an hour or fo, but you are with that filthy creature. If you `were young, and I took liberties, you could not use me worfe; you could not, you beaftly fellow. Such ufage might force the most virtuous woman to refentment. I don't fee why the wives in this country fhould not put themselves upon as eafy a foot as in England. In fort, Mr. Ducat, if you behave yourfelf like an English hufband, I will behave myself like an English wife. AIR IX. Red boufe. I will have my humours, I'll please all my fenfes, Thus Thus every day I'll pafs my life,, Duc. All these things, I know, are natural to the fex, my dear But husbands, like colts, are reftif, and they require a long time to break 'em. Befides, 'tis not the fashion as yet, for husbands to be govern'd in this country. That tongue of yours, my dear, hath not elo quence enough to perfuade me out of my reafon. A woman's tongue, like a trumpet, only ferves to raife my courage. AIR X. Old Orpheus tickl'd, &c. When billows come breaking on the ftrand, With that weapon, women, like pirates, are at war with the whole world. But, I thought, my dear, your pride would have kept you from being jealous. 'Tis the whole bufinefs of my life to please you; but wives are like children, the more they are flatter'd and humour'd, the more perverse they are. Here now have I been laying out my money, purely to make you a prefent, and I have nothing but thefe freaks and reproaches, in You wanted a maid, and I have bought you the handieft creature; fhe will indeed make a very creditable fervant. return. Mrs. Due. I will have none of your huffies about me. And fo, Sir, you would make me your convenience, your bawd. Out upon it! Duc. But I bought her on purpose for you, Madam. Mrs. Duc. For your own filthy inclinations, you' mean. I won't bear it. What, keep an impudent ftrumpet under my nofe! Here's fine doings, indeed! Duc. I will have the directions of my family. Tis my pleasure it fhall be fo. So, Madam, be fatisfy'd. I AIR AIR XI. Chrift-church bells. When a woman jealous grows, Mrs, Duc. But ere man roves, he fhould pay what he owes, And with her due content his wife. Duc. 'Tis mau's the weaker fex to fway. Duc. You fhould fubmit. Mrs. Duc. But fweet kind husband-not to-day. Would I had you in England; I should have all the women there rife in arms in my defence. For the honour and prerogative of the fex, they would not suffer fuch a precedent of fubmiffion. And fo, Mr. Ducat, I tell you once again, that you fhall keep your trollops out of the houfe, or I will not stay in it. Duc. Look'ee, wife; you will be able to bring about nothing by pouting and vapours. I have refolution enough to withstand either obstinacy or ftratagem. And I will break this jealous fpirit of yours before it gets a head. And fo, my dear, I order, that upon my account, you behave yourself to the girl as you ought. Mrs. Duc. I wish you would behave yourfelf to your wife as you ought; that is to fay, with good manners and compliance. And fo, Sir, I leave you and your minx together. I tell you once again, that I would fooner die upon the spot, than not to be mistress of my own house. [Exit, in a paffion. Duc. If by these perverfe humours, I should be forc'd to part with her, and allow her a separate maintenance; the thing is fo common among people of condition, that it could not prove to my difcredit. - Family divifions, and matrimonial controverfies are a kind of proof of a man's riches; for the poor people are happy in marriage out of neceffity, because they cannot afford to disagree.. Enter Damaris. Damaris, faw you my wife? Is the in her own room? What faid fhe? Which way went fhe? Dam. Blefs me, I was perfectly frighten'd, fhe look'd fo like a fury! Thank my ftars, I never faw her look fo before in all my life; tho', mayhap, you may have seen her look fo before a thousand times. Woe be to the fervants that fall in her way! I'm fure I'm glad to be out of it. AIR XII. Cheshire-rounds. Servants get the drubbing. Duc. I would have you, Damaris, have an eye upon your miftrefs. You fhould have her good at heart, and inform me when fhe has any fchemes a-foot; it may be the means to reconcile us. Dam. She's wild, Sir. There's no fpeaking to her. She's flown into the garden! Mercy upon us all, fay I! How can you be fo unreasonable to contradict a woman, when you know we can't bear it. Duc. I depend upon you, Damaris, for intelligence. You may obferve her at a diftance; and as foon as the comes into her own room, bring me word. There is the sweetest pleasure in the revenge that I have now in my head! I'll this inftant go and take my charge from Mrs.. Trapes. [Afide.] Damaris, you know your inftructions. [Exit. Dam. Sure all mafters and miftreffes, like politicians, judge of the confcience of makind by their own, and require treachery of their fervants as a duty! I am em C ploy'd ploy'd by my mafter to watch my mistress, and by my miftrefs to watch my master. Which party fhall I efpoufe? To be fure my miftrefs's. For in hers, jurifdiction and power, the common cause of the whole fex, are at stake. But my mafter I fee is coming this way. I'll avoid him, and make my obfervations. [Exit. Enter Ducat and Polly. Duc. Be chearful, Polly, for your good fortune hath thrown you into a family, where, if you rightly confult your own intereft, as every body now-a-days does, you may make yourself perfectly eafy. Thofe eyes of yours, Polly, are a fufficient fortune for any woman, if The have but conduct, and know how to make the most of 'em. Polly. As I am your fervant, Sir, my duty obliges me not to contradict you; and I must hear your flattery, tho' I know myself undeferving. But fure, Sir, in handfome women, you must have obferved that their hearts often oppofe their interest: and beauty certainly has ruin'd more women than it has made happy. AIR XIII. The bush aboon Traquair. The crow or daw thro' all the year No fowler feeks to ruin ; That other beauties fell in ; For fure at heart was never yet If my lady, Sir, will let me know my duty, gratitude will make me study to please her. Duc. I have a mind to have a little converfation with you, and I would not be interrupted. [Bars the door. Polly. I with, Sir, you would let me receive my lady's commands. Duc. And fo, Polly, by thefe downcaft looks of yours, you would have me believe you don't know you are handsome, and that you have no faith in your looking glafs. |