joint offices of reading clerk and clerk of the committees, which were of much greater value than the clerkship of the journals, were vacated by resignation. Major Cowper; "the patentee of these appointments," fulfilled on this occasion the expectations which had always been entertained. "I pray God to bless him," says Cowper, "for his benevolent intention to serve me. He called me out of my chambers, and having invited me to take a turn with him in the garden, there made me an offer of the two most profitable places, intending the other for his friend Mr. Arnold. Not immediately reflecting upon my incapacity to execute a business of so public a nature, I at once accepted it; but at the same time seemed to receive a dagger in my heart. Having been harassed and perplexed for the space of a week, I determined to write a letter to my friend, and therein begged him to accept my resignation, and to appoint Mr. Arnold to the places he had given me, and permit me to succeed Mr. Arnold. I was well aware of the disproportion between the value of his appointment and mine, but I flattered myself that the clerkship of the journals would fall fairly and easily within the scope of my abilities. This matter being settled, something like a calm took place in my mind; but, in the beginning, a strong opposition to my friend's right of nomination began to show itself. A powerful party was formed among the Lords to thwart it, and I was bid to expect an examination at the bar of the House, touching my sufficiency for the post I had taken. Being necessarily ignorant of the nature of that business, it became expedient that I should visit the office daily, in order to qualify myself for the strictest scrutiny. All the horror of my fears and perplexities now returned. I knew, to demonstration, that upon these terms the clerkship of the journals was no place for me. To require my attendance at the bar of the House, that I might there publicly entitle myself to the office, was, in effect, to exclude me from it. In the mean time, the interest of my friend, the honour of his choice, my own reputation and circumstances, all urged me forward; all pressed me to undertake that which I saw to be impracticable. My continual misery at length brought on a nervous fever, and in this posture of mind I attended regularly at the office for more than half a year, where, instead of a soul upon the rack, the most active spirits were essentially necessary for my purpose. At length, the vacation being pretty far advanced, I made shift to get into the country, and repaired to Margate."

At Margate Cowper began presently to recover his spirits; this amendment he imputed to the effects of a new scene, to an intermission of his painful employment, and to cheerful company; but about the beginning of October he was again required to attend the office, and prepare for what he called "the push." But no sooner had he resumed his ineffectual labours, than his misery and his madness returned.

Cowper's state of mind was now of that kind which commonly ends in suicide or madness. The sequel must be given in histown relation. My chief fear was, that my senses would not fail me time enough to excuse my appearance at the bar of the House of Lords, which was the only purpose I wanted it to answer. Accordingly the day of decision drew near, and I was still in my senses; though in my heart I had formed many wishes, and by word of mouth expressed many expectations to the contrary. Now came the grand temptation; the point to which Satan had all the while been driving me; the dark and hellish purpose of self-murder. One evening in November, 1763, as soon as it was dark, affecting as cheerful and unconcerned an air as possible, I went into an apothecary's shop, and asked for an half ounce phial of laudanum. The day that required my attendance at the bar of the House being not yet come, and about a week distant, I kept my bottle close in my side-pocket, resolved to use it when I should be convinced there was no other way of escaping. The day before the period above mentioned, had walked a mile in the fields, determined to find some house to die in, or to poison myself in a ditch, when a thought struck me that I might yet spare my life, by transporting myself to France. Not a little pleased with this expedient, I returned to my chambers to pack up all that I could at so short a notice; but while I was looking over my portmanteau, my mind changed again; and self-murder was recommended to me once more in all its advantages. Not knowing where to poison myself, for I was liable to continual interruption in my chambers, from my laundress and her husband, I laid aside that intention, and resolved upon drowning. For that purpose, I immediately took a coach, and ordered the man to drive to Tower wharf; intending to throw myself into the river from the Custom House quay; but upon coming to the quay, I found the water low, and a porter seated upon some goods there, as if on purpose to prevent me. This passage to the bottomless pit being mercifully shut against me, I returned back to the coach, and ordered it to return to the Temple. I drew up the shutters, once more had recourse to the laudanum, and determined to drink it off directly; but God had otherwise ordained, twenty times I had the phial to my mouth, and as often received an irresistible check; and even at the time it seemed to me that an invisible hand swayed the bottle downwards, as often as I set it against my lips. Half dead with anguish, I once more returned to the Temple. Instantly I repaired to my room, and having shut both the outer and inner door, prepared myself for the last scene of the tragedy. I poured the laudanum into a small basin, set it on a chair by the bed-side, half undressed myself, and laid down between the blankets, shuddering with horror at what I was about to perpetrate. At length, however, with the most confirmed resolution, I reached forth my hand towards the basin, when the fingers of both

hands were as closely contracted, as if bound with a cord, and became entirely useless. I lay down in bed again to muse upon this interposition, when I heard the key turn in the outer door, and my laundress's husband came in. By this time the use of my fingers was restored to me: I started up hastily, dressed myself, hid the basin, and affecting as composed an air as I could, walked out into the dining-room. In a few minutes I was left alone; and the horror of the crime was immediately exhibited to me in so strong a light, that being seized with a kind of furious indignation, I snatched up the basin, poured away the laudanum into a phial of foul water, and, not content with that, flung the phial out of the window. This impulse, having served the present purpose, was withdrawn. I spent the rest of the day in a kind of stupid insensibility; undetermined as to the manner of dying, but still bent on self-murder, as the only possible deliverance. I went to bed to take, as I thought, my last sleep in this world. The next morning was to place me at the bar of the House, and I determined not to see it. I slept as usual, and awoke about three o'clock. Immediately I arose, and by the help of a rushlight, found my penknife, took it into bed with me, and lay with it for some hours directly pointed against my heart. Twice or thrice I placed it upright under my left breast, leaning all my weight upon it; but the point was broken off square, and it would not penetrate. In this manner the time passed till the day began to break. I heard the clock strike seven, and instantly it occurred to me, there was no time to be lost: the chambers would soon be opened, and my friend would call upon me to take me with him to Westminster. Not one hesitating thought now remained, but I fell greedily to the execution of my purpose. My garter was made of a broad piece of scarlet binding, with a sliding buckle, being sewn together at the ends: by the help of the buckle ĺ formed a noose, and fixed it about my neck, straining it so tight that I hardly left a passage for my breath, or for the blood to circulate; the tongue of the buckle held it fast. At each corner of the bed was placed a wreath of carved work, fastened by an iron pin, which passed up through the midst of it: the other part of the garter, which made a loop, I slipped over one of these, and hung by it some seconds, drawing up my feet under me, that they might not touch the floor; but the iron bent, and the carved work slipped off, and the garter with it. I then fastened it to the frame of the tester, winding it round, and tying it in a strong knot. The frame broke short, and let me down again. The third effort was more likely to succeed. I set the door open, which reached within a foot of the ceiling; by the help of a chair I could command the top of it, and the loop being large enough to admit a large angle of the door, was easily fixed so as not to slip off again. I pushed away the chair with my feet, and hung at my whole length. While I hung there, I distinctly heard a voice

say three times, "'Tis over!' Though I am sure of the fact, and was so at the time, yet it did not at all alarm me, or affect my resolution. I hung so long that I lost all sense, all consciousness of existence. When I came to myself again, I thought myself in hell; the sound of my own dreadful groans was all that I heard, and a feeling, like that produced by a flash of lightning, just beginning to seize upon me, passed over my whole body. In a few seconds I found myself fallen on my face to the floor. In about half a minute I recovered my feet; and reeling, and staggering, stumbled into bed again. By the blessed providence of God, the garter which had held me till the bitterness of temporal death was past, broke just before eternal death had taken place upon me. The stagnation of the blood under one eye, in a broad crimson spot, and a red circle round my neck, showed plainly that I had been on the brink of eternity. The latter, indeed, might have been occasioned by the pressure of the garter; but the former was certainly the effect of strangulation; for it was not attended with the sensation of a bruise, as it must have been, had I, in my fall, received one in so tender a part. And I rather think the circle round my neck was owing to the same cause; for the part was not excoriated, nor at all in pain. Soon after I got into bed, I was surprised to hear a noise in the dining-room, where the laundress was lighting a fire; she had found the door unbolted, notwithstanding my design to fasten it, and must have passed the bed-chamber door while I was hanging on it, and yet never perceived me. She heard me fall, and presently came to ask me if I was well; adding, she feared I had been in a fit. sent her to a friend, to whom I related the whole affair, and despatched him to my kinsman, at the coffee-house. As soon as the latter arrived, I pointed to the broken garter, which lay in the middle of the room; and apprized him also of the attempt I had been making.-His words were, My dear Mr. Cowper, you terrify me! To be sure you cannot hold the office at this rate,-where is the deputation?' I gave him the key of the drawer where it was deposited; and his business requiring his immediate attendance, he took it away with him; and thus ended all my connexion with the Parliament office."

I

Cowper has described his religious feelings at this period, but they are too melancholy to dwell upon; he seems gradually to have sunk into a state of lunacy. "At length," he says, "it was agreed upon by my brother and friends that I should be carried to St. Albans, where Dr. Cotton kept a house for the reception of such patients, and with whom I was known to have a slight acquaintance. Not only his skill as a physician recommended him to their choice, but his well-known humanity and sweetness of temper. It will be proper to draw a veil over the secrets of my prison-house."

After he had resided with Dr. Cotton about eight months

1

he was visited by his brother, from which period he dated his recovery. He was in no haste, however, to remove, but remained twelve months longer with Dr. Cotton.* This was equally a matter of prudence and of convenience, till he had determined what course to pursue upon leaving his present abode. He had now to fix upon a place of residence. To remain longer with Dr. Cotton, to whom he was by this time 66 very deep in debt," was what he could not afford. He employed his brother, therefore, to look for lodgings in the neighbourhood of Cambridge, "being," said he, "determined, by the Lord's leave, to see London, the scene of my former abominations, no longer." And that he might have no obligation to return thither, he resigned the office of commissioner of bankrupts, which he had for some years held, with about sixty pounds per annum. He now felt so strongly his ignorance of the law, that he could not in conscience take the accustomed oath; and by this resignation he reduced himself to an income scarcely sufficient for his maintenance; "but I would rather," says he, "have starved in reality, than deliberately have offended against my Saviour." His relations made no attempt to dissuade him from this resolution. Instead of being to them an object of high hopes and expectations, as, from his talents and acquirements and disposition, he had been when he began life, he had become one of painful and all but hopeless anxiety. Probably they doubted whether his cure was complete, and inferred, from his intended conduct, that though the malady had assumed a happier form, his mind was still unsound. They therefore subscribed among themselves an annual allowance, such as made his own diminished means just sufficient to maintain him respectably, but frugally, in retirement, and left him to follow his own course. After many unsuccessful attempts to procure lodgings nearer Cambridge, John Cowper wrote to say he had found some at Huntingdon which he believed might suit him. Though this was an inconvenient distance from Cambridge, and Cowper had fixed upon that part of the country solely for the sake of being near his brother, he did not hesitate to take them, having then, he said, been twelve months in perfect health, and his circumstances requiring a less expensive way of life.

His removal was followed by the formation of a strict and affectionate friendship "with the race of the Unwins, consisting," as he says to Lady Hesketh, "of father and mother, and son and daughter, the most comfortable social folks you ever knew." The family he has forcibly described to Lady Hesketh. He says, "They are altogether the cheerfulest and

* Dr. Cotton was a man of letters. His "Visions in Verse" used to be one of those books which were always in print, because there was a certain demand for them as presents for young people. His various pieces in prose and verse were collected and published in two volumes after his death; and from this edition his poems were incorporated in Dr. Anderson's "Collection of the British Poets." The well-known stanzas entitled "The Fireside" still hold and are likely to retain a place in popular selections.