but that he is himself the Unborn Doctor. The Way is to hit upon fomething that puts the Vulgar upon the Stare, or touches their Compaffion, which is often the weak:eft Part about us. I know a good Lady, who has taken her Daughters from their old Dancing-Mafter, to place them with another, for no other Reason, but becaufe the new Man has broke his Leg, which is so ill set, that he can never Dance more.

From my own Apartment, July 13.

AS it is a frequent Mortification to me to receive Letters, wherein People tell me, without a Name, they know I meant them in fuch and fuch a Paffage; fo that very Accufation is an Argument, That there are fuch Beings in human Life, as fall under our Description, and our Difcourfe is not altogether fantastical and groundlefs. But in this Cafe I am treated as I faw a Boy was t'other Day, who gave out pocky Bills: Every plain Fellow took it that paffed by, and went on his Way without farther Notice: And at laft came one with his Nofe a little. abridg'd; who knocks the Lad down, with a Why you Son of a W-e, do you think I am p-? But Shakespear has made the beft Apology for this Way of talking against the Publick Errors: He makes Jaques in the Play, call'd, As you like it, exprefs himself thus:

Why, Who cries out on Pride,

That can therein tax any private Party?
What Women in the City do I name,
When that I fay, the City Woman bears

The Coft of Princes on unworthy Shoulders?

Who can come in and fay that I mean her,
When fuch a one as fhe, fuch is her Neighbour?
Or, What is he of bafest Function,
That fays his Bravery is not on my Coft?
Thinking that I mean him, but therein fuits
His Folly to the Mettle of my Speech.

There then! How then? Then let me fee wherein
My Tongue has arong'd him: If it do him Right,
Then he hath wrong'd himself: If he be free,
Why then my Taxing like a wild Goafe flies,
Unclaim'd of any Man.

Co

N° 42.

Celebrare Domeftica Facta.

To celebrate Actions done at Home.

Saturday, July 16, 1709.

From my own Apartment, July 15.

OOKING over fome old Papers, I found a little Treatife written by my Great-Grandfather, concerning Bribery, and thought his Manner of treating that Subject not unworthy my Remark. He there has a Digreffion concerning a Poffibility, that in fome Circumstances a Man may receive an Injury, and yet be conscious to himself that he deferves it. There are Abundance of fine Things faid on the Subject; but the whole wrapp'd up in fo much Jingle and Pun (which was the Wit of thofe Times) that it is fcarce intelligible; but I thought the Defign was well enough in the following Sketch of an old Gentleman's Poetry: For in this Cafe, where two are Rivals for the fame Thing, and propose to obtain it by Prefents, he that attempts the Judge's Honefty, by making him Offers of Reward, ought not to complain when he loses his Caufe by a better Bidder. The good old Doggrel runs thus:

A poor Man once a Judge befought
To judge aright his Cause,
And with a Pot of Oil falutes
This Fudger of the Laws.

My Friend, quoth he, thy Caufe is good:
He glad away did trudge;

Anon his wealthy Foe did come

Before this partial Judge.

A Hog well fed this Churl prefents,
And craves a Strain of Law ;

The Hog receiv'd, the poor Man's Right ·
Was judged not worth a Straw.

There

Therewith he cry'd, O! partial Judge,
Thy Doom has me undone ;

When Oil I gave, my Caufe was good,
But now to Ruin run.

Poor Man, quoth he, I thee forgot,
And fee thy Caufe of Foil;
A Hog came fince into my House,
And broke thy Pot of Oil.

Will's Coffee-boufe, July 15.

THE Difcourfe happened this Evening to fall upon Characters drawn in Plays; and a Gentleman remark'd, That there was no Method in the World of knowing the Taste of an Age, or Period of time fo good, as by the Obfervations of the Perfons reprefented in their Comedies. There were several Inftances produced, as Ben Johnson's bringing in a Fellow fmoaking, as a Piece of Foppery; but, faid the Gentleman, (who entertained us on this Subject) this Matter is no where fo obfervable as in the Difference of the Characters of Women on the Stage in the last Age, and in this. It is not to be suppofed that it was a Poverty of Genius in Shakespear, that his Women made fo fmall a Figure in his Dialogues; but it certainly is, that he drew Women as they then were in Life: For that Sex had not in those Days that Free-dom in Conversation; and their Characters were only, that they were Mothers, Sifters, Daughters and Wives. There were not then among the Ladies, fhining Wits, Politicians, Virtuofa, Free-Thinkers and Difputants; nay, there was then hardly fuch a Creature even as a Coquet: But Vanity had quite another Turn, and the most confpicuous Woman at that Time of Day was only the best Housewife. Were it poffible to bring in to Life an Affembly of Matrons of that Age, and introduce the learned Lady Woodby in their Company, they would not believe the fame Nation could produce a Creature fo unlike any thing they ever faw in it.

BUT

BUT thefe Antients would be as much aftonished to fee in the fame Age fo illuftrious a Pattern to all who love Things praife-worthy, as the divine Afpafia. Methinks, I now fee her walking in her Garden like our first Parent, with unaffected Charms, before Beauty had Spectators, and bearing celeftial confcious Virtue in her Afpect. Her Countenance is the lively Picture of her Mind, which is the Seat of Honour, Truth, Compaffion, Knowledge and Innocence.

There dwells the Scorn of Vice and Pity too.

In the midst of the moft ample Fortune, and Veneration of all that behold and know her, without the leaft Affectation, she confults Retirement, the Contemplation of her own Being, and that Supreme Power which beftow'd it. Without the Learning of Schools, or Knowledge of a long Courfe of Arguments, fhe goes on in a fteady Courfe of uninterrupted Piety and Virtue, and adds to the Severity and Privacy of the last Age all the Freedom and Eafe of this. The Language and Mien of a Court the is poffeffed of in the higheft Degree; but the Simplicity and humble Thoughts of a Cottage are her more welcome Entertainments Afpafia is a Female Philofopher, who does not only live up to the Refignation of the most retired Lives of the antient Sages, but alfo to the Schemes and Plans which they thought beautiful, though inimitable. This Lady is the moft exact Oeconomist, without appearing bufy; the moft ftrictly virtuous, without tafting the Praise of it; and fhuns Applaufe with as much Induftry, as others do Reproach. This Character is fo particular, that it will very easily be fixed on her only, by all that know her; but I dare fay, fhe will be the laft that finds it out.

BUT, alas! If we have one or two fuch Ladies, How many Dozens are there like the reftlefs Polugloffa, who is acquainted with all the World but herfelf; who has the Appearance of all, and Poffeffion of no one Virtue: She has indeed in her Practice the Abfence of Vice, but her Difcourfe is the continual History of it; and it is apparent, when the fpeaks of the criminal Gratifica tions of others, that her Innocence is only a Restraint,

with a certain Mixture of Envy. She is fo perfectly oppofite to the Character of Afpafia, that as Vice is terrible to her only as it is the Object of Reproach, fo Virtue is agreeable only as it is attended with Applaufe.

St. James's Coffee-houfe, July 15.

IT is now Twelve o' Clock at Noon, and no Mail come in; therefore I am not without Hopes that the Town will allow me the Liberty which my Brother News-Writers take, in giving them what may be for their Information in another kind, and indulge me in doing an Act of Friendship, by publishing the following Account of Goods and Moveables.

THIS is to give Notice, That a magnificent Palace, with great Variety of Gardens, Statues and Waterworks, may be bought cheap in Drury-Lane; where there are likewife feveral Caftles to be difpofed of, very delightfully fituated; as alfo Groves, Woods, Forests, Fountains and Country Seats, with very pleasant Profrects on all Sides of them; being the Moveables of Rcb, Efq; who is breaking up Houfe-keeping, and has many curious Pieces of Furniture to difpofe of, which may be feen between the Hours of Six and Ten in the Evening.

The INVENTORY.

SPIRITS of right Nantz Brandy, for Lambent Flames and Apparitions.

THREE Bottles and an half of Lightning.

ONE Shower of Snow in the whiteft French Paper. TWO Showers of a browner Sort.

A Sea, confifting of a Dozen large Waves; the tenth bigger than ordinary, and a little damaged.

A Dozen and Half of Clouds, trimm'd with black, and well conditioned.

A Rainbow a little faded.

A Set of Clouds after the French Mode, freaked with Lightning, and furbelow'd.

A New-Moon, fomething decayed.

A