fpleen, and without any thought of earthly reward, whenas this very courfe they take ftops their hopes of afcending above a lowly and unenviable pitch in this life. And although in the ferious uncafing of a grand impofture (for to deal plainly with you readers, prelaty is no better) there be mixed here and there fuch a grim laughter, as may appear at the fame time in an auftere vifage, it cannot be taxed of levity or infolence: for even this vein of laughing (as I could produce out of grave authors) hath ofttimes a strong and finewy force in teaching and confuting; nor can there be a more proper object of indignation and fcorn together, than a falfe prophet taken in the greatest, deareft, and most dangerous cheat, the cheat of fouls: in the difclofing whereof, if it be harmful to be angry, and withal to caft a lowering fmile, when the propereft object calls for both, it will be long enough ere any be able to fay, why thofe two moft rational faculties of human intellect, anger and laughter, were firft feated in the breaft of man. Thus much, readers, in favour of the fofter fpirited chriftian, for other exceptioners there was no thought taken. Only if it be afked, why this clofe and fuccinct manner of coping with the adversary was rather chofen, this was the reafon chiefly, that the ingenuous reader, without further amufing himself in the labyrinth of controverfal antiquity, may come to the speedieft way to fee the truth vindicated, and sophistry taken fhort at the first false bound. Next, that the Remonftrant himself, as oft as he pleases to be frolic, and brave it with others, may find no gain of money, and may learn not to infult in fo bad a caufe. But now he begins.

SECT. I.

Remonftrant. My single remonftrance is encountered with a plural adverfary.

Answer. Did not your fingle remonftrance bring along with it a hot fcent of your more than fingular affection to fpiritual pluralities, your finglenefs would be lefs fufpected with all good chriftians than it is.

Remonft.

Remonft. Their names, perfons, qualities, numbers, I care not to know.

Anfw. Their names are known to the all-knowing Power above; and in the mean while, doubtless, they reck not whether you or your nomenclator know them

or not.

Remonft. But could they fay my name is Legion, for we are many

?

Anfw. Wherefore fhould ye begin with the devil's name, descanting upon the number of your opponents? Wherefore that conceit of Legion with a by-wipe? Was it because you would have men take notice how you efteem them, whom through all your book fo bountifully you call your brethren? We had not thought that Legion could have furnished the Remonftrant with fo many brethren.

Remonft. My caufe, ye gods, would bid me meet them undifmayed, &c.

Anfw. Ere a foot further we must be content to hear a preambling boaft of your valour, what a St. Dunstan you are to encounter Legions, either infernal or human. Remonft. My caufe, ye gods.

Anfw. What gods? Unless your belly, or the god of this world be he? Show us any one point of your remonftrance that does not more concern fuperiority, pride, ease, and the belly, than the truth and glory of God, or the falvation of fouls.

Remonft. My caufe, ye gods, would bid me meet them undismayed, and to fay with holy David, "though a hoft, &c."

Anfw. Do not think to perfuade us of your undaunted courage, by mifapplying to yourself the words of holy David; we know you fear, and are in an agony at this prefent, left you should lofe that fuperfluity of riches and honour, which your party ufurp. And whofoever covets, and fo earnefily labours to keep fuch an incumbering furcharge of earthly things, cannot but have an earthquake ftill in his bones. You are not armed, Remonftrant, nor any of your band; you are not dieted, nor your loins girt for fpiritual valour, and chriftian warfare, the lug

gage

gage is too great that follows your camp; your hearts are there, you march heavily: how fhall we think you have not carnal fear, while we fee you fo fubject to carnal defires?

Remonft. I do gladly fly to the bar. Anfw. To the bar with him then. Gladly you say. We believe you as gladly as your whole faction wifhed and longed for the affembling of this parliament, as gladly as your beneficiaries the priests came up to anfwer the complaints and outcries of all the fhires.

Remonft. The Areopagi! who were thofe? Truly, my masters, I had thought this had been the name of the place, not of the men.

Anfw. A foar-eagle would not ftoop at a fly; but fure fome pedagogue ftood at your elbow, and made it itch with this parlous criticism; they urged you with a decree of the fage and fevere judges of Athens, and you cite them to appear for certain paragogical contempts, before a capacious pedanty of hot-livered grammarians. Miftake not the matter, courteous Remonftrant, they were not mak ing Latin: if in dealing with an 'outlandish name, they thought it best not to fcrew the English mouth to a harsh foreign termination, fo they kept the radical word, they did no more than the eleganteft authors among the Greeks, Romans, and at this day the Italians, in fcorn of fuch a fervility ufe to do. Remember how they mangle our British names abroad; what trefpafs were it, if we in requital fhould as much neglect theirs? And our learned Chaucer did not ftick to do fo, writing Semyramis for Semiramis, Amphiorax for Amphiaraus, K. Sejes for K. Ceyx the hufband of Alcyone, with many other names ftrangely metamorphofed from the true orthogra phy, if he had made any account of that in these kind of words.

Remonft. Left the world fhould think the prefs had of late forgot to speak any language other than libellous, this honeft paper hath broken through the throng.

Anfw. Mince the matter while you will, it fhowed but green practice in the laws of difcreet rhetoric to blurt upon the ears of a judicious parliament with fuch a pre

fumptuous

fumptuous and overweening proem: but you do well to be the fewer of your own mess.

Remonft. That which you mifcall the preface, was a too juft complaint of the fhameful number of libels.

Anfw. How long is it that you and the prelatical troop have been in fuch diftafte with libels? Afk your Lyfimachus Nicanor what defaming invectives have lately flown abroad against the fubjects of Scotland, and our poor expulfed brethren of New England, the prelates rather applauding than fhowing any dislike: and this hath been ever fo, infomuch that fir Francis Bacon in one of his difcourfes complains of the bishops uneven hand over these pamphlets, confining those against bishops to darknefs, but licensing those against puritans to be uttered openly, though with the greater mischief of leading into contempt the exercise of religion in the perfons of fundry preachers, and difgracing the higher matter in the meaner perfon.

Remonft. A point no less effential to that proposed

remonftrance.

Anfw. We know where the fhoe wrings you, you fret and are galled at the quick; and O what a death it is to the prelates to be thus unvisarded, thus uncased, to have the periwigs plucked off that cover your baldness, your infide nakedness thrown open to public view! The Romans had a time once every year, when their flaves might freely speak their minds; it were hard if the freeborn people of England, with whom the voice of truth for these many years, even against the proverb, hath not been heard but in corners, after all your monkish prohibitions, and expurgatorious indexes, your gags and fnaffles, your proud Imprimaturs not to be obtained. without the fhallow furview, but not fhallow hand of fome mercenary, narrow-fouled, and illiterate chaplain ; when liberty of speaking, than which nothing is more fweet to man, was girded and ftrait-laced almost to a broken-winded phthific, if now at a good time, our time of parliament, the very jubilee and refurrection of the ftate, if now the concealed, the aggrieved, and long persecuted truth, could not be suffered to speak; and though she burst out with fome efficacy of words, could not be excufed

excufed after fuch an injurious ftrangle of filence, nor avoid the cenfure of libelling, it were hard, it were something pinching in a kingdom of free fpirits. Some princes, and great ftatifts, have thought it a prime piece of neceffary policy, to thrust themselves under difguife into a popular throng, to ftand the night long under eaves of houfes, and low windows, that they might hear every where the utterances of private breafts, and amongst them find out the precious gem of truth, as amongst the numberless pebbles of the fhore; whereby they might be the abler to discover, and avoid, that deceitful and close-couched evil of flattery that ever attends them, and misleads them, and might kilfully know how to apply the several redreffes to each malady of state, without trusting the difloyal information of parafites and fycophants : whereas now this permiffion of free writing, were there no good elfe in it, yet at fome times thus licensed, is fuch an unripping, fuch an anatomy of the fhyeft and tendereft particular truths, as makes not only the whole nation in many points the wifer, but alfo prefents and carries home to princes, men most remote from vulgar concourse, such a full infight of every lurking evil, or reftrained good among the commons, as that they fhall not need hereafter, in old cloaks and false beards, to ftand to the courtefy of a night-walking cudgeller for eaves-dropping, nor to accept quietly as a perfume, the overhead emptying of fome falt lotion. Who could be angry, therefore, but those that are guilty, with thefe freefpoken and plain-hearted men that are the eyes of their country, and the prospective-glaffes of their prince? But these are the nettlers, thefe are the blabbing books that tell, though not half your fellows feats. You love toothless fatires; let me inform you, a toothlefs fatire is as improper as a toothed fleek-ftone, and as bullish.

Remonft. I beseech you, brethren, fpend your logic upon your own works.

Anfw. The peremptory analysis that you call it, I believe will be fo hardy as once more to unpin your spruce faftidious oratory, to rumple her laces, her frizzles, and her bobbins, though the wince and fling never fo peevishly.

Remonft.