that none of the people deserted; but I be- | cast my last looks upon the English shore; I trayed my trust, and went off myself. I kept my eyes fixed upon it till, the ship's knew not what road to take, and durst not distance increasing, it sensibly disappeared; ask for fear of being suspected; yet having and when I could see it no longer, I was some general idea of the country, I guessed tempted to throw myself into the sea, which right; and when I had travelled some miles, (according to the wicked system I had I found upon inquiry, that I was on the road adopted) would put a period to all my sorrows to Dartmouth. All went smoothly that day, at once. But the secret hand of God reand part of the next: I walked apace, and strained me.-Help me to praise him, dear expected to have been with my father in Sir, for his wonderful goodness to the most about two hours, when I was met by a small unworthy of all creatures.—I am your most party of soldiers; I could not avoid or de- obliged servant. ceive them. They brought me back to Ply- January 15, 1763. mouth. I walked through the streets guarded like a felon. My heart was full of indignation, shame, and fear. I was confined two days in the guard house, then sent on board my ship, and kept awhile in irons, then publicly stripped and whipped; after which I was degraded from my office, and all my former companions forbidden to show me the least favour, or even to speak to me. As midshipman, I had been entitled to some command, which (being sufficiently haughty and vain,) I had not been backward to exert. I was now in my turn brought down to a level with the lowest, and exposed to the insults of all.

And as my present situation was uncomfortable, my future prospects were still worse: the evils I suffered were likely to grow heavier every day. While my catastrophe was recent, the officers and my quondam brethren were something disposed to screen me from ill usage; but, during the little time I remained with them afterwards, I found them cool very fast in their endeavours to protect me. Indeed they could not avoid it without running a great risk of sharing with me; for the captain, though in general a humane man, who behaved very well to the ship's company, was almost implacable in his resentment, when he had been greatly offended, and took several occasions to show himself so to me; and the voyage was expected to be, as it proved, for five years. Yet I think nothing I either felt or feared distressed me so much, as to see myself thus forcibly torn away from the object of my affections, under a great improbability of seeing her again, and a much greater of returning in such a manner as would give me hopes of seeing her mine. Thus I was as miserable on all hands as could well be imagined. My breast was filled with the most excruciating passions, eager desire, bitter rage, and black despair. Every hour exposed me to some new insult and hardship, with no hope of relief or mitigation, no friend to take my part, or to listen to my complaint. Whether I looked inward or outward, I could perceive nothing but darkness and misery. I think no case except that of a conscience wounded by the wrath of God, could be more dreadful than mine. I cannot express with what wishfulness and regret I

LETTER IV.

DEAR SIR, -Though I desired your instructions as to the manner and extent of these memoirs, I began to write before I received them, and had almost finished the preceding sheet when your favour of the 11th came to hand. I shall find another occasion to acknowledge my sense of your kind expressions of friendship, which, I pray the Lord, I may never give you cause to repent or withdraw; at present I shall confine myself to what more particularly relates to the task assigned me. I shall obey you, Sir, in taking notice of the little incidents you recal to my memory, and of others of the like nature, which, without your direction, I should have thought too trivial, and too much my own to deserve mentioning. When I began the eighth letter, I intended to say no more of myself than might be necessary to illustrate the wonders of divine providence and grace in the leading turns of my life; but I account your judgment a sufficient warrant for enlarging my plan.

Amongst other things, you desired a more explicit account of the state and progress of my courtship, as it is usually phrased. This was the point in which I thought it especially became me to be very brief; but I submit to you; and this seems a proper place to resume it, by telling you how it stood at the time of my leaving England.-When my inclinations first discovered themselves, both parties were so young, that no one but myself considered it in a serious view. It served for tea-table talk amongst our friends, and nothing further was expected from it. But afterwards, when my passion seemed to have abiding effects, so that in an interval of two years it was not at all abated, and especially as it occasioned me to act without any regard to prudence or interest, or my father's designs, and as there was a coolness between him and the family, her parents began to consider it as a matter of consequence; and when I took my last leave of them, her mother (at the same time she expressed the most tender affection for me, as if I had been her own child) told me, that though she had no objections to make,

upon a supposition that, at a maturer age, | beyond their common influence (as when a there should be a probability of our engaging disease, for instance, has been removed by upon a prudent prospect, yet, as things then a fright,) so I found it then this single stood, she thought herself obliged to inter- thought, which had not restrained me from a fere; and therefore desired I would no more thousand smaller evils, proved my only and think of returning to her house, unless her effectual barrier against the greatest and most daughter was from home, till such time as I fatal temptations. How long I could have supcould either prevail with myself entirely to ported this conflict, or what, humanly speakgive up my pretensions, or could assure her ing, would have been the consequence of my that I had my father's express consent to go continuing in that situation, I cannot say; but on. Much depended upon Mrs. N*****'s part the Lord whom I little thought of, knew my in this affair; it was something difficult; but danger, and was providing for my deliverance. though she was young, gay, and quite un- Two things I had determined when at Plypractised in such matters, she was directed mouth, that I would not go to India, and that to a happy medium. A positive encourage- I would go to Guinea; and such, indeed, was ment, or an absolute refusal, would have been the Lord's will concerning me; but they attended with equal, though different disad- were to be accomplished in his way, not in vantages. But without much studying about my own. We had been now at Maderia some it, I found her always upon her guard: she time; the business of the fleet was complethad penetration to see her absolute powered, and we were to sail the following day. over me, and prudence to make a proper use On that memorable morning I was late in of it; she would neither understand my hints, bed, and had slept longer, but that one of the nor give me room to come to a direct ex-midshipmen (an old companion) came down, planation. She has said since, that from the first discovery of my regard, and long before the thought was agreeable to her, she had often an unaccountable impression upon her mind, that sooner or later she should be mine. Upon these terms we parted.

and between jest and earnest bade me rise; and as I did not immediately comply, be cut down the hammock or bed in which I lay, which forced me to dress myself. I was very angry, but durst not resent it. I was little aware how much his caprice affected me, and I now return to my voyage. During our that this person, who had no design in what passage to Maderia, I was a prey to the most he did, was the messenger of God's provigloomy thoughts. Though I had well de- dence. I said little, but went upon deck, served all I met with, and the captain might where I that moment saw a man putting his have been justified if he had carried his re- clothes into a boat, who told me he was going sentment still farther; yet my pride at that to leave us. Upon inquiring, I was informtime suggested that I had been grossly injur- ed that two men from a Guinea ship, which ed, and this so far wrought upon my wicked lay near us, had entered on board the Harheart, that I actually formed designs against wich, and that the commodore (the present his life; and this was one reason that made Sir George Pocock) had ordered the captain me willing to prolong my own. I was some- to send two others in their room. My heart times divided between the two, not thinking instantly burned like fire. I begged the boat it practicable to effect both. The Lord had might be detained a few minutes; I ran to now to appearance given me up to judicial the lieutenants, and intreated them to interblindness; I was capable of any thing. Icede with the captain that I might be dishad not the least fear of God before my eyes, missed. Upon this occasion, though I had nor (so far as I remember) the least sensibility been formerly on ill terms with these officers, of conscience. I was possessed of so strong and had disobliged them all in their turns, yet a spirit of delusion, that I believed my own they had pitied my case, and were ready to lie, and was firmly persuaded that after death serve me now. The captain, who, when we I should cease to be: yet the Lord preserved were at Plymouth, had refused to exchange me! Some intervals of sober reflection would me, though at the request of admiral Medley, at times take place: when I have chosen was now easily prevailed on. I believe, in death rather than life, a ray of hope would little more than half an hour from any being come in (though there was little probability asleep in my bed, I saw myself discharged, for such a hope) that I should yet see better and safe on board another ship. This was days, that I might again return to England, one of the many critical turns of my life, and have my wishes crowned, if I did not in which the Lord was pleased to display his wilfully throw myself away. In a word, my providence and care, by causing many unlove to Mrs. N***** was now the only re-expected circumstances to concur in almost straint I had left; though I neither feared God, nor regarded men, I could not bear that she should think meanly of me when I was dead. As in the outward concerns of life, the weakest means are often employed by divine providence to produce great effects,

an instant of time. These sudden opportunities were several times repeated: each of them brought me into an entire new scene of action; and they were usually delayed to almost the last moment, in which they could have taken place.

the coast. A few days before she sailed the captain died. I was not upon much better terms with his mate, who now succeeded to the command, and had upon some occasion treated me ill: I made no doubt, but, if I went with him to the West Indies, he would put me on board a man-of-war; and this, from what I had known already, was more dreadful to me than death. To avoid it, I determined to remain in Africa, and amused myself with many golden dreams, that here I should find an opportunity of improving my fortune.

There are still upon that part of the coast a few white men settled, (and there were many more at the time I was first there,) whose business it was to purchase slaves, &c. in the rivers and country adjacent, and sell them to the ships at an advanced price. One of these, who at first landed in my indigent circumstances, had acquired considerable wealth: he had lately been in England, and was returning in the vessel I was in, of which he owned a quarter part. His example impressed me with hopes of the same success; and upon condition of entering into his service, I obtained my discharge. I had not the precaution to make any terms, but trusted to his generosity. I received no compensation for my time on board the ship, but a bill upon the owners in England, which was never paid; for they failed before my return. The day before the vessel sailed I landed upon the island of Benanoes, with little more than the clothes upon my back, as if I had escaped shipwreck.—I am, dear Sir, your's, &c.

The ship I went on board of was bound to Sierra Leone, and the adjacent parts of what is called the Windward Coast of Africa. The commander, I found, was acquainted with my father: he received me very kindly, and made fair professions of assistance, and believe he would have been my friend; but without making the least advantage of former mistakes and troubles, I pursued the same course; nay, if possible, I acted much worse. On board the Harwich, though my principles were totally corrupted, yet, as upon my first going there I was in some degree staid and serious, the remembrance of this made me ashamed of breaking out in that notorious manner I could otherwise have indulged. But now, entering amongst strangers, I could appear without disguise; and I well remember, that while I was pass ing from the one ship to the other, this was one reason why I rejoiced in the exchange, and one reflection I made upon the occasion, viz. that I now might be as abandoned as I pleased, without any control: and, from this time, I was exceedingly vile indeed, little if any thing short of that animated description of an almost irrecoverable state, which we have in 2 Peter ii. 14. I not only sinned with a high hand myself, but made it my study to tempt and seduce others upon every occasion: nay, I eagerly sought occasion sometimes to my own hazard and hurt. One natural consequence of this carriage was, a loss of the favour of my new captain; not that he was at all religious, or disliked my wickedness, any further than it affected his interest; but I became careless and disobedient; I did not please him, because I did not intend it; and, as he was a man of an odd temper likewise, we the more easily disagreed. Besides, I had a little of that unlucky wit, which can do little more than multiply troubles and enemies to its possessor; and upon some imagined affront, I DEAR SIR,-There seems an important inmade a song, in which I ridiculed his ship, struction, and of frequent use, in these words his designs, and his person, and soon taught of our dear Lord, "Mine hour is not yet come." it to the whole ship's company. Such was The two following years, of which I am now the ungrateful return I made for his offers to give some account, will seem as an absoof friendship and protection. I had men- lute blank in a very short life: but as the tioned no names, but the allusion was plain, Lord's hour of grace was not yet come, and and he was no stranger either to the inten-I was to have still deeper experience of the tion or the author.-I shall say no more of this part of my story; let it be buried in eternal silence. But let me not be silent from the praise of that grace which could pardon, that blood which could expiate such sins as mine; yea, "the Ethiopian may change his skin, and the leopard his spots," since I, who was the willing slave of every evil, possessed with a legion of unclean spirits, have been spared, and saved, and changed, to stand a monument of his Almighty power for ever.

Thus I went on for about six months, by which time the ship was preparing to leave M

January 17, 1763.

LETTER V.

dreadful state of the heart of man, when left
to itself; I have seen frequent cause since,
to admire the mercy of the Lord in banish-
ing me to those distant parts, and almost ex-
cluding me from human society, at a time
when I was big with mischief, and, like one
infected with a pestilence, was capable of
spreading a taint wherever I went.
my affairs taken a different turn; had I suc-
ceeded in my designs, and remained in Eng-
land, my sad story would probably have been
worse. Worse in myself, indeed, I could
have hardly been; but my wickedness would
have had greater scope; I might have been

Had

deeply engraven in my remembrance than the Po or Tyber. The southernmost of these has a very peculiar course, almost parallel to the coast; so that in tracing it a great many leagues upwards, it will seldom lead one above three miles, and sometimes not more than half a mile from the sea-shore. Indeed I know not, but that all these rivers may have communications with each other, and with the sea in many places, which I have not remarked. If you cast your eyes upon a large map of Africa, while you are reading this, you will have a general idea of the country I was in; for though the maps are very incorrect, most of the places I have mentioned are inserted, and in the same order as I have named them.

very hurtful to others, and multiplied irre- | sound, running within a long island, and reparable evils; but the Lord wisely placed me ceiving the confluence of several large rivers, where I could do little harm. The few I" rivers unknown to song," but far more had to converse with were too much like myself, and I was soon brought into such abject circumstances, that I was too low to have any influence. I was rather shunned and despised than imitated; there being few even of the negroes themselves, during the first year of my residence amongst them, but thought themselves too good to speak to me. I was as yet an "outcast lying in my blood," (Ezek. xvi.) and to all appearance exposed to perish. But the Lord beheld me with mercy, he did not strike me to hell, as I justly deserved; "he passed by me when I was in my blood, and said unto me live." But the appointed time for the manifestation of his love, to cover all my iniquities with the robe of his righteousness, and to admit me to the privileges of his children, was not till long afterwards; yet even now he bade me live; and I can only ascribe it to his secret upholding power, that what I suffered in a part of this interval, did not bereave me either of my life or senses; yet as by these sufferings the force of my evil example and inclinations was lessened, I have reason to account them amongst my mercies. It may not, perhaps, be amiss to digress for a few lines, and give you a very brief sketch of the geography of the circuit I was now confined to, especially as I may have frequent occasion to refer to places I shall now mention; for my trade afterwards when the Lord gave me to see better days, was chiefly to the same places, and with the same persons, where and by whom I had been considered as upon a level with their meanest slaves. From Cape De Verd, the most western point of Africa, to Cape Mount, the whole coast is full of rivers: the principal are Gambia, Rio Grande, Sierra Leone, and Sherbro. Of the former, as it is well known, and I was never there, I need say nothing. The Rio Grande, like the Nile, divides into many branches near the sea. On the most northerly, called Cacheo, the Portuguese have a settlement. The most southern branch, known by the name of Rio Nuna, is, or then was, the usual boundary of the white men's trade northward. Sierra Leone is a mountainous peninsula, uninhabited, and I believe inaccessible, upon account of the thick woods, excepting those parts which lie near the water. The river is large and navigable. From hence, about twelve leagues to the south-east, are three contiguous islands, called the Benanoes, about twenty miles in circuit: this was about the centre of the white men's residence. Seven leagues farther the same way, lie the Plantanes, three small islands, two miles distant from the continent at the point which forms one side of the Sherbro. This river is more properly a

My new master had formerly resided near Cape Mount, but he now settled at the Plantanes, upon the largest of the three islands. It is a low sandy island, about two miles in circumference, and almost covered with palmtrees. We immediately began to build a house, and to enter upon trade. I had now some desire to retrieve my lost time, and to exert diligence in what was before me; and he was a man with whom I might have lived tolerably well, if he had not been soon influenced against me: but he was much under the direction of a black woman, who lived with him as a wife. She was a person of some consequence in her own country, and he owed his first rise to her interest. This woman, (I know not for what reason,) was strangely prejudiced against me from the first; and what made it still worse for me, was a severe fit of illness, which attacked me very soon, before I had opportunity to show what I could or would do in his service. I was sick when he sailed in a shallop to Rio Nuna, and he left me in her hands. At first I was taken some care of; but, as I did not recover very soon, she grew weary, and entirely neglected me. I had sometimes not a little difficulty to procure a draught of cold water, when burning with a fever. My bed was a mat, spread upon a board or chest, and a log of wood my pillow. When my fever left me, and my appetite returned, I would gladly have eaten, but there was no one gave unto me. She lived in plenty herself, but hardly allowed me sufficient to sustain life, except now and then, when in the highest good humour, she would send me victuals in her own plate, after she had dined; and this, (so greatly was my pride humbled,) I received with thanks and eagerness, as the most needy beggar does an alms. Once, I well remember, I was called to receive this bounty from her own hand; but, being exceedingly weak and feeble, I dropped the plate. Those who live in plenty can