The waves increased in size, and the packet accordingly rose and fell in proportion. Steward's boys were seen hurrying about, with glasses of cold brandy-and-water, and solitary biscuits on cheese-plates; and occasionally a mop was lowered by a string into the boiling ocean; or a basin, caught by the wind, now and then performed a journey from one end of the deck to the other, all by itself.

Of course, there were several upon whom the motion of the vessel had very little effect; and first and foremost amongst these fortunate individuals was Jack Johnson, who had seated himself upon the roof of the cabin-entrance, in company with an apparently interminable bottle of Guinness', watching the invalids, and making sundry pleasant remarks upon things in general to Mr. Ledbury, who felt particularly queer, but was endeavouring to make himself believe that he was perfectly well.

I wonder,' observed Jack Johnson, as he stuck the stout-bottle into the pocket of his pea-coat, to keep it from rolling away, 'I wonder why stewards of steam-boats are always fat, and have all got curly hair.'

'I don't know,' replied Mr. Ledbury; unless constantly being near the fire plumps them up, like cooks and wild ducks.'

I rather imagine,' continued Johnson, 'that they pick up flesh from living perpetually amongst hot oil and boiled mutton.'

'Oh! don't talk anything about boiled mutton!' said Ledbury, with an air of disgust, and looking like an animated turnip.

With respect to their curly hair,' Johnson remarked, 'I cannot offer a theory, unless it be that all their whiskers grow on the top of their heads instead of down their cheeks!'

There was a wild attempt on the part of the steward to establish dinner about one o'clock; but the sea was too rough to allow of such a proceeding; nor was the atmosphere of the cabin sufficiently attractive to tempt any one down. Our friends, therefore, had some sandwiches on deck; and, to do Mr. Ledbury justice, he behaved remarkably well, for the wind was dead against them, and the sea so turbulent, that at one time the captain had thoughts of going into Ramsgate harbour for the night. About three o'clock it came on to rain, and Ledbury and his companion nestled under the tarpaulin of some woolsacks upon deck; where, under the combined influence of the stout, the wind, and the rambles of the previous night, they soon fell asleep. Neither the noise upon deck, the dashing of the waves, the motion of the boat, nor the straining and creaking of her timbers as she laboured through the boiling sea, disturbed them; and they dozed away comfortably until an unusual bustle aroused them from their visions, and they found they were close to the entrance of Boulogne harbour.

The Emerald rolled through the surf on the bar, and in a few minutes came into the comparatively still water, between the two barricades of piles which stretch into the sea on either side of the harbour. The bustle on deck consequent upon each passenger endeavouring to pick out his own carpet-bag from amidst one hundred and fifty others, all alike and undirected, aroused our tourists, and they now began to look about them.

'Bless me!' cried Mr. Ledbury, gazing at a figure at the end of the pier, in a pepper-and-salt great coat, there's a French soldier. I wonder what he wears red trowsers for ?'

Because the English wear red coats,' said Johnson. 'You will see everything in France is by the rule of contrary. We take the left side in driving-they take the right; we pay when we get out of a 'bus-they pay upon getting in; we call a pawnbroker 'my uncle,'-they call him ma tante;' English washer women put the linen into tubs,-French ones get into the tubs themselves, and wash the linen in the river.'

As the steamer at length stopped at the port, and the plank-bridge was thrust out for the passengers to land, a confusion of voices arose, to which the gabble for the million' that caused the great strike amongst the masons of the Tower of Babel, was perfect tranquillity. A chain was stretched along the pier, to keep off the crowd, and oblige the travellers to pass through the Douane; and this was thronged, like the ropes of a race-course, by the noisy touters from the various hotels, leaning over, and offering the cards of their respective establishments, with the assurance that each was superior to the other. To keep them quiet, Johnson promised every one of them individually that he would make a point of coming to their hotel; and Mr. Ledbury received all their cards with extreme affability, thanking them severally for their attention; and regarding them with mild benignity.

Having pushed forward with the crowd through the gates of the custom-house, they were severally searched-an ordeal which awakened much honest, indignation in the breast of Jack Johnson; who finally relieved his wrath by pointing to his Wellingtons, and recommending the custom-house officers to detain them, hinting that as one had caused them so much uneasiness at Waterloo, probably two would be doubly annoying. A similar playful allusion to the Bluchers of Mr. Ledbury, who appeared rather nervous during the inquisition, was also indulged in; and then, as they emerged from the Douane, they found all the touters waiting for them. It was only by dint of sheer personal strength, and a few liberal and thorough British oaths, that Mr. Johnson preserved himself and his companion from being torn into divers pieces, and carried in divisions to the various hotels with which Boulogne abounds; there being, on an average, by the latest statistics, one house and a half to every single visitor who arrives there.

Acting upon the contradictory axiom that the dearest hotels are by far the cheaper, they determined upon putting up at the Hotel du Nord; the commissioner whereof promised to clear their luggage in time for them to get everything that night; and then they strolled out into the town to inquire after the diligences, and look about them. There was plenty to attract Mr. Ledbury's attention at every step, and he was more especially amazed at hearing the little dirty children, who were luxuriating in the gutters, speaking French with such purity and fluency. Then he stared at the lamps slung across the streets, and the painted signs of the shops, and the large red hands at the glove-makers; and was finally lost in admiration, when they turned up the Grand Rue, and entered the Cathedral, at the numerous offerings, including the little ships hung from the ceiling, and the gaudy trappings of the different altars. Jack Johnson, having seen all these things before, was not so excited, but withal found new amusement in making faces at an old woman, who was sprinkling holy-water about with a Dutch broom; and when

he was tired of this pastime, in blowing out a mass of candles, about the size of small rushlights cut in half, which were flaring, guttering, and melting, on a triangular stand near the door.

As they left the church they found a crowd in the open place in front of it, assembled round a man in a fine suit of clothes, who was standing on the seat of a gig, and evidently preparing to address the assembled multitude. His companion, a female in a flaunting bonnet and feathers, something in the style of the women who stand under large umbrellas, and keep the al fresco gambling-tables on our race-courses, was playing a tune on the cornet-à-piston to attract an audience. When she had concluded, the gentleman commenced his speech as follows:

'Messieurs et dames, ne croyez pas, que vous avez devant les yeux, un charlatan, un empirique, un jongleur, un prestidigitateur: non, messieurs-je méprise ces sciences, autant que je mépriserais moi-même si j'avais le malheur de les professer.'

'What does he say? inquired Mr. Ledbury.

'He says he's a brick, and no mistake,' replied Johnson.

'Thank you,' returned Mr. Ledbury, with much gravity, What a flowery language the French must be! I wish I spoke it. The man continued,—

Mon titre est modest; je suis le premier physicien de l'univers, et aussi du Boulvart du Temple à Paris: et j'aurai l'honneur, messieurs et dames, de vous offrir des médecines les plus redoubtables à deux sous le paquet; et les allumettes chimiques Allemandes à un sou la boit. Voyez, messieurs-les allumettes Allemandes !' What are they?' again asked Mr. Ledbury.

They are called, in the Tottenham-court-road dialect, Congreves, a halfpenny a box," said Johnson. See, he's going to light one.'

ex

A présent, du feu!' cried the doctor, using the same grandeur of tone in which the Astley's leader of a storming party would claim, Storm the ramparts!' But the doctor's importance experienced a slight drop; for, after various rubs, the obstinate lucifers would not light. A laugh arose from the crowd, to which the 'premier physicien' calmly replied,

'Allons, allons, messieurs: ce n'est rien. L'Allemagne abuse décidément de notre confiance.'

'I wish I could understand him,' observed Mr. Ledbury. Do tell me what he says.'

'He says the German opera was a failure, and Herr Dobler is the devil's god-son,' replied Johnson. Now, look!-he is handing his goods amongst the crowd. Buy something.'

What's this?' asked Mr. Ledbury, taking up a small tinsel roll, about the thickness of his little finger.

The physician returned an answer, which to Mr. Ledbury was about as intelligible as double Dutch spoken backwards,-a patois ever extremely difficult to understand.

It's a bonbon,' said Johnson. Try it.'

It's remarkably nasty,' replied Mr. Ledbury, putting a small piece in his mouth.

The people around began to laugh at this proceeding; and when Mr. Ledbury, blushing very deeply, and imagining that they were amused with his wry faces at what was possibly an acquired taste,

VOL. X.

29

bit off a large piece, and swallowed it boldly, their merriment increased

to a roar.

'What is it?' he exclaimed again.

The doctor, comprehending from his gestures what he wished to know, replied, Monsieur, c'est une grand cosmetique pour lisser les cheveux.'

'What a funny mistake!' said Johnson. stick of coloured pomatum.

You have been eating a

Whereat Mr. Ledbury coloured up more deeply than ever, and tried to laugh through his blushes, like a sunbeam on Lord Mayor's day struggling through the red fog; but he was evidently much bewildered.

'Never mind,' said Jack Johnson; 'keep the rest for your own. You have not got too much hair, and what you have is harsh enough to work into a bird-cage. It will do it good.'

And after this pleasant adventure they returned to their hotel. Here the commissioner told them that he had taken places for them the next morning in the diligence, and they accordingly retired to bed, Mr. Ledbury's head being filled with confused visions of smiling grisettes in cocked hats and postillion's boots, and Jack Johnson wondering if the tailor in the Place de la Bourse, whom he neglected to call upon before he last left Paris, would chance to meet him and upbraid him with his want of etiquette.

A NIGHT WELL SPENT.

BY H. R. ADDISON.

EVERY society, every ship, every corps, every grade has its established butt. Paid, liveried fools have given place to the fook, par excellence, of the present age, the easy, good-natured fellow, who takes every jest kindly, every practical joke as a matter of course, and almost fancies himself slighted when no one condescends to turn him into ridicule.

Jemmy Thompson was a griffin (i. e. a new-comer from Europe), and Jemmy was a goose. Jemmy, however, was one of the besttempered fellows alive, so every one played off their tricks on him.

Now it so happened that a ship had just arrived in Diamond harbour, on its way to Calcutta from the Levant, and, as the plague was said to be raging at the latter place, the said vessel had been ordered to perform strict quarantine for forty days. The sentries on shore had received orders to shoot any one who dared to land from her, and, under pain of death, every one was forbidden to approach her. Of these circumstances Jemmy was profoundly ignorant.

Our friend Jemmy had annoyed several of the members of a reading club in Calcutta, by daily seizing the (the daily paper), and pestering everybody to know if the William and Mary,' a ship which he had reason to believe was bringing him out some Madeira, had arrived?

Thus stood matters, when one day, on his entering the club, and making the usual inquiries, Captain Molloy quietly arose, and assured him that the wished-for vessel had arrived, and was even now lying down at Diamond Harbour, taking care to describe the exact position in which the tainted ship was moored. Jemmy ran home,

ordered his palanquin, and arrived that evening about eight o'clock at this semi-sea-port. Impatient to convince himself that his treasure had arrived, he did not hesitate, even at this late hour, to order a boat, and instantly caused himself, to the no small surprise of the persons who looked on from shore, to be rowed to the plaguestricken ship.

When he approached near her, a person from the deck desired him to keep off. This Jemmy did not understand. He had no idea of having taken all this trouble for nothing, so he drew still nearer; nor was it till he was assured that his boat would be sunk, and the fact explained to him that the vessel had just arrived from Turkey, that he consented to shear off. When, however, he learnt these little facts, he was just as eager to return to shore as he had been to board the merchantman.

What was Jemmy's horror and indignation on beholding, as he approached the strand, a musket levelled at his head by a sturdy sentinel, who swore, in tolerably round terms, that if he attempted to set foot on shore, he would instantly blow out his brains.

'Here's a go!' quoth Jemmy; and, pray, why am I to be thus treated ?'

'You come from a plague-ship; my orders are strict; advance nearer, and I fire.'

Under these circumstances Jemmy thought it would be better to retire; so he ordered his dandies to pull up the river. Here, however, he was instantly stopped. If he attempted to force his way up, a gun, protruding its ugly head through an embrasure in the fortress, was instantly to be discharged at him. The boats of the board of health forbad him, on peril of instant destruction, to proceed down the river. What was poor Jemmy to do? He had but one chance. He quietly approached a man of-war that was lying at anchor. Seemingly unobserved he came close to her, when, lo! a sudden report, and a ball knocked off his hat into the river! Jemmy roared loudly. His boatmen took the hint, and sheered off What was now to be done? Thompson had neither had tiffin nor dinner. He had no covering for his head, no place of shelter. The weather was stormy; the waves began to knock him about, and bring on sickness. It was the rainy season, and the poor little fellow was drenched to the skin. Yet here he must remain, here abide, or run the risk of being sent into the next world by a musket-ball He certainly did not relish either alternative;

but alas!

'Necessitas non habet leges.'

All that night, and until noon next day did our wretched little friend remain exposed to the elements, rowing about in despair, fearing that, like the flying Dutchman, he was destined to cruise here for ever.

About noon one of his quizzers, perceiving the scrape he would be in, obtained an order, by which Mr. J. Thompson was allowed to land. The little gentleman instantly called his facetious friend out, and shot him through the leg, inflicting a wound which lamed him for life. Jemmy himself was laid up with a severe rheumatism and ague for nearly three months, and the whole affair finally turned out, like every other practical joke, a subject rather of sorrow than of fun.