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Thursday 13. He appeared much better during most of the day, and was able to attend our weekly prayer-meeting, with which he afterwards expressed himself much gratified and refreshed. Towards night, he became exceedingly uneasy, and some incoherent expressions betrayed a disordered state of his mind.
"Several succeeding days and nights were passed much in the same manner. His nights were regularly restless and tedious, but by day he seemed tolerably comfortable, sitting up, enjoying conversation, and taking part in it, frequently desiring the Scriptures' to be read, remarking on the greatness and importance of the subjects treated of, and enlarging, particularly on the preciousness of the promises. Hymns, which we often read, or sung, at his request, always seemed to revive his spirits, and awaken in him feelings of devotion.
“To different individuals of his acquaintance, he often made such remarks as shewed where his own mind was fixed, and such as tended to lead theirs, also, to useful reflections. To his Arabic master he said, 'You have been teaching me grammar, but here I am taught a higher branch of knowledge, humility, submission, and patience.' To another friend he remarked, that it was useful sometimes to be brought low on a bed of sickness. It was in itself a trial, but we had in the midst of it this glorious consolation, that we could apply to an all-sufficient Redeemer for support.
“His case as yet did not appear particularly alarming. Nothing, to human view, was wanting, but some skilful physician to prescribe for him a few simple remedies. No such physician was at hand. Dr. Dalton, from the Jews' Society, would have been the man we wished, but he was at two days' distance, and the circumstances of his family were such, as to preclude every hope that he could leave it. We looked with some confidence for the divine bless
ing on the feeble means, to which our own experience, and a few standard medical books, directed
We lifted up our hearts with our voice unto God in the heavens for deliverance. Perhaps our prayers were hindered by the presumption, that the great Head of the Church would not remove from the mission one who was, to human view, so important, and even necessary, to its prosperity.
“Wednesday morning, 19. He rose as usual, and occupied the sofa in an easy reclining posture, and appeared to enjoy some quiet sleep, but we have since suspected, that what seemed to be sleep, was chiefly stupor. His countenance was, towards evening, perceptibly more sunk, and he manifestly began to think his recovery doubtful. He said with a desponding air, to one of us, who stood surveying him, "I don't know what you think of me.'— Together with restlessness and head ache, his fever was accompanied this
evening by an involuntary starting of the muscles. To ease his head, we applied, as we had done once before, a few leeches. He grew suddenly very wild, and increasingly restless. Happening to touch the leeches on his face, he exclaimed, 'Oh, what is here! When told, '0,' said he, 'I know not what I am, nor where I am.' We hastened to remove him to his bed; but, in taking off his gown, he fainted, and lay for some time as if dying. In removing him, and managing his bleeding, he repeatedly asked, what we were doing, and who we were. We replied, “This is such a brother, and this is such an one.' 'O yes, said he, (the best friends that ever I had in my life, I am
God bless you. This was a terrible night of constant uneasiness and delirium..
“Thursday morning, 20. It being evident that he was much reduced since yesterday, and would perhaps be unable to sustain a single additional paroxysm of fever, we consulted whether it would not be best to disclose to him our opinion of his case,
and suggest the propriety of his completing whatever arrangement remained to be made of his worldly concerns. We were the more decided to do this, as he had expressly wished us to deal faithfully with him, and tell him, without flattering his desires, whatever we thought of him. He received the communication with great composuremexpressed a hope in Christ—said his views were not so clear as he could wish, but intimated that he was not afraid. So far as he was acquainted with himself, he thought he could safely say, that his great, commanding object of life, for the last seventeen years, had been the glory of Christ, and the good of the Church. Mr. Goodell asked if he had any particular word of comfort, or of exhortation for his family friends, his brothers, sisters, father. At this last word, he was sensibly moved; "Oh, brother Goodell,' said he, raising his hand to his eyes, 'my father, my father,-my father-(he paused.) But he'll bear it. He knows what such afflictions are. When he hears the news, the tears will roll down his furrowed cheeks, but he'll not complain-he knows where to look for comfort.' Here he stopped; saying he hoped to renew the subject, when he should have had a little space to collect himself. After we had read, at his request, the fifty-first Psalm, and both prayed by his side, he himself added a short prayer, in which he confessed his sins, and resigned his soul and body into the hands of God.
“Hoping that he might yet continue a day or two, we despatched a messenger to Sidon, to a physician with whom Mr. Fisk had some acquaintance, and in whose skill he expressed some confidence.
“During the course of the day, he conversed, much, and with the full command of his reason. 'It is now,' said he, “about seventeen years that I have professed to be a servant of Christ. But O how have I served him—with how many haltings and stumblings and sins. Were it not for the infinite
merits of Christ, I should have no hope-not one among a thousand of my words has been right-not one among a thousand of my thoughts has been right.' We asked, if he could not give us some directions haw to live and labor in the mission. Yes,' said he, "tis done in a few words; live near to God, dwell in love, and wear out in the service of Christ.' He had no particular plan to recommend for the conduct of the mission,
but with regard to the station at Jerusalem, should be sorry to have it given up, though he did not see how it could be well avoided, until
we should be reinforced by other missionaries.--He dictated letters to his father, and his missionary brethren, King and Temple-wished he had a catalogue of his books at Jerusalem, that he might select a suitable one for his father, but could not think of any.
“At times he lay in a state of stupor, and seemed near death. In such a state he was, when the hour of our usual Thursday prayer-meeting arrived. We proposed to observe the season by his bedside, supposing him to be too insensible to be either gratified or disturbed by it. On asking him, however, if we should once more pray with him, to our surprise he answered, “Yes—but first I wish you to read me some portions of Mrs. Graham's Provision for passing over Jordan.' We read, and he made suitable remarks. Where it is said "To be where thou art, to see thee as thou art, to be made like thee, the last sinful motion forever past,'—he anticipated the conclusion, and said, with an expressive emphasis, “That's heaven.' We then each of us prayed with him, and he subjoined his hearty “Amen. We had asked, what we should pray for, as it concerned his case. "Pray,' said he, that, if it be the Lord's will, I may get well, to pray with you, and labor with you a little longer; if not, that I may die in possession of my reason, and not dishonor God by my dying behavior. He afterwards begged to hear the
hymn, which he had formerly sung at the grave of Mr. Parsons.*
"As the evening approached, and before the appearance of the fever fit, he was very calm and quiet. In the midst of the stillness that reigned within him, and around him, he spoke out saying, 'I know not what this is, but it seems to me like the silence that precedes a dissolution of nature.'-His fever began to creep upon him. We saw again the spasmodic affection of his muscles. What the Lord intends to do with me,' said he, 'I cannot tell, but my impression is, that this is my last night. We hoped not. Perhaps not,' said he, but these are my impressions. “The devotions of the evening were attended in
He united in them with evident enjoyment. Afterwards he begged one of the sisters to go and try to get some rest, bade her good night, intimated it might be their final parting, commended her 'to Him that was able to keep her.' Similar expressions of concern for us, and of gratitude to God, frequently fell from his lips; such as, The Lord bless you for all your kindness.'-—'I shall wear you all out.' -Were it not for these kind friends, I should already have been in my grave.'—How different is this from poor B. (an English traveller who lately died,) how different from Martyn, how different from brother Parsons in Syra.'
“The fever fit proved much milder than the night precedingscarcely any appearance of delirium. He repeatedly said, "The Lord is more merciful to me than I expected.' 'Perhaps there may be some hope of my recovery—the Lord's name be praised.' He often checked himself for sighing, and speaking
* “Brother, thou art gone before us,
And thy saintly soul has flown