with only onc. In large circles I am on my guard; with only one there is no temptation. O that my conversation were always such as becometh the Gospel! And after so many years spent in attending to religion, and inculcating it on others, am I still given to folly? And must I then despair? Ah! if I could despair of doing any thing in my own strength, and learn to depend on the aid of the divine Spirit, I might hope. To him I would now resort. But my cold heart remains unaffected. If a wish, a promise, a prayer, a pang of grief, would answer, I should have been exemplary in my conversation long ago. But all these have failed of producing the desired effect. So hard is it for those, who are disposed by nature and accustomed by habit to do evil, to learn to do well. I cannot but hope I shall live to see the day when, by divine grace, I shall have overcome the levity which is my besetting sin. Omnipotent grace can help me overcome it. I look forward with trembling joy to the time when all my conversation shall be discreet and sober.

"August 1, 1817. This day is the semi-annual fast of this Seminary. Morning-Exceedingly dull and destitute of all profitable contemplations, I can scarcely find in myself any disposition to pray, read, meditate, resolve against sin, or engage in any exercise suitable for the day. I can scarcely mourn, that I have so little feeling.

"Noon-Have just returned from hearing Mr. W. pronounce a eulogy on our brother Day. Eulogies appear to me generally to be too highly colored. Not so this. I knew the deceased. He walked with God. He was a friend-a saint. O how soberly and prayerfully he lived!

'May the great purpose, may the glow divine
That warmed his bosom, now inspirit mine.
To imitate my God, to bless mankind,
The sweet and sovereign passion of my mind.
Be such his praise, be such my glorious aim,
Till my soul, kindl'd at so fair a flame,

And wing'd for bliss and heaven, like his shall rise;
To join her kindred angels in the skies.'

"Long may the recollection of what my brother was, be a powerful stimulus to me to become like him. O for that spirit of humility, of self-denial, of prayer, of Christian sobriety, which he possessed.

"Troubled still with the same unfruitful state of 'mind as in the morning. What shall I do? What method shall I take to become heavenly-minded? Sometimes I derive advantage from visiting my brethren, from reading, from secret prayer, from selfexamination. But alas! I have no heart for any of these exercises. A faint wish to do something, or have something done for me, sometimes begins to arise in my heart, and then it is overcome by stupidity. Sometimes a retired walk for meditation, the recollection of past experience, or 'writing a religious letter does me good; but I have now no heart for either. If another felt as I feel, I should exhort him to repent, to give himself up to God, to fly to Christ, to mourn and weep over his wretched state. I see no way for me, but to do as I should exhort others.

"Evening-Heard this afternoon an excellent sermon from Mr. F. on Peter's recovery from backsliding. 'When he thought thereon he wept.' If I could think of my sins and weep, it would be well. When the flint shall melt, my heart may. But the Holy Spirit can subdue and purify it can make me what a Christian should be. Sinful' as I am, hard as my heart is, and unyielding as my sinful habits are, still I will venture to pray, and hope, that God will give me grace to do the following things, viz:

661.

To guard against levity in manners, looks, words, and conduct; and to be grave, solemn, discreet, and devotional.

"2. To be more constant, serious, and spiritual in the duties of the closet-reading, praying, meditation, and self-examination.

"3. To be more industrious, and to fill up every moment in doing or getting good, by study, conversation, exercise, or devotion.

"4. To be more sincere and spiritual in the religious services of every day, at table, in my room, in the chapel, and on the Sabbath.

"5. To cultivate a better temper towards my fellow men, more tenderness, patience, sympathy love, and forbearance. Amen.

"Dec. 19, 1817. With several of my brethren I have set apart this day for fasting and prayer. My mind this morning is in a very serious and agreeable state. My usual morning devotions were particularly pleasant. My room-mate and I united repeatedly in social prayer. It was easy, and solemn, and agreeable, to pray that our Saviour would be with us and our brethren to-day-to pray that he would grant the light of his countenance to one who is in darkness. I then read with interest the book of Joel with Scott's Practical Observations. O that I could 'sanctify a fast.' In my closet I have been enabled, with some degree of feeling, to confess my sins, my neglect of secret prayer, self-examination, and the Scriptures; my intemperance in eating, and my sinfulness of heart and life. I am vile-my sins are aggravated-my heart seems to be little else than a mass of corruption-my life is filled up with irregularities-I am sick of myself. Dear Saviour, make me like thyself; give me such compassion for souls, as led thee to die for them; such love to my heavenly Father, as led thee to esteem it meat and drink to do his will; and let all my brethren possess, and exhibit, the same spirit.

"Dec. 25, 1817. Ten o'clock, A. M. I hope to have four or five hours to spend now without interruption in fasting and prayer, with immediate reference to the great work of preaching the Gospel. The exceeding vileness of my heart, my great want of love to Christ, and compassion for the souls of

men, and my ignorance on divine subjects, make it exceedingly important that I fast and pray. After imploring divine aid in the duties of the day, read the 2d and 3d chapters of Ezekiel, and meditated on the magnitude of the preacher's work, the difficulties and trials he must encounter, and his constant need of divine aid, guidance, and support. 'Who is sufficient for these things?'

"Endeavored to recollect and acknowledge the distinguishing favor of the Redeemer, in selecting me for the ministry, and giving me so many advantages for preparation, and so much comfort and success in my few feeble labors. Endeavored also to humble myself for my want of purity, love, and activity, and for my abuse of privileges, while preparing for so sacred a work. Ohow little have I learned of God, of truth, of duty!

"Spent some time in pleading that I may be qualified for the work of the ministry; gave myself up to the Redeemer, to be employed as he shall see best; to be prospered or disappointed, to be honored or despised, to be afflicted and disposed of, as he may appoint. And now, blessed Jesus, I would consider myself wholly thine. Amen.

"Jan. 20, 1818. To-day I devoted a few hours to self-mortification, fasting and prayer, that I may be enabled to keep under my body, and bring it into subjection; to be temperate in all things, to keep my heart with all diligence, to subdue every wanton desire, and to be holy like my Redeemer.

"Read with unusual interest some parts of the Epistle which gives cautions against lusts, and requires us to be spiritually-minded. It seems to me that I desire to be spiritual, to live no longer to the lusts of the flesh, but to the will of God. But O, how strong the old corruption! How deeply it is interwoven with every feeling and principle of my moral nature! But it is my work, the grace of God assisting, to subdue this corruption; and looking to

God for help, I do now soberly resolve, never to cease my efforts, till the work is done.

February 27, 1818. Semi-annual fast of the Seminary. This morning I have been in my closet, endeavoring to recollect and confess my sins. I could do little more than enumerate the black catalogue. The time spent in my closet has often been short, and I have hasted away without getting near to God.

"I have had many wandering thoughts, and vain desires, and much stupidity in seasons of public and social devotion: In short the history of my closet, my studies, my meals, my devotions, my intercourse with others, my meditations, and all my words, actions, and feelings, seems to be little else than an account of the various forms and operations of sin. The dawn of the morning finds me awaking to sin, and the shades of the evening find me ending the day as I began it. If I sometimes get half a thought, or half a wish raised towards heaven, my corruptions drag me down again to earth, to cold formality, to moral death. Thus my God is treated by a worm whom he created and upholds. Thus my Redeemer is treated by a sinner whom he died to redeem, and who professes to love him supremely.

"Sept. 4. Semi-annual fast. This morning I have been enabled to confess my sins with more than my usual feeling. In looking back on my conduct, and inward on my heart, I feel ready to sink. Can I ever be pardoned? Can I ever be made holy? O how cheering is the hope, that I shall sooner of later be entirely conformed to GOD!"

It will have been perceived in the preceding pages, that Mr. Fisk possessed a missionary spirit. The deep interest which he took in the subject of missions, while connected with the Seminary, will be now more particularly evinced. A missionary now in the field, who was intimate with him at this