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Come, sister:-Dromio, play the porter well.
Ant. S. Am I in earth, in heaven, or in hell?
Dro. S. Master, shall I be porter at the gate?
pate. Luc. Come, come, Antipholus, we dine too late.
Enter Antipholus of Ephesus, Dromio of Ephesus,
Angelo, and Balthazar. Ant. E. Good signior Angelo, you must excuse
us all; My wife is shrewish, when I keep not hours: Say, that I linger'd with you at your shop, To see the making of her carkanet, And that to-morrow you will bring it home. But here's a villain, that would face me down He met me on the mart; and that I beat him, And charg'd him with a thousand marks in gold; And that. I did deny my wife and house:Thou drunkard, thou, what didst thou mean by this? Dro. E. Say what you will, sir, but I know what
I know: That you beat me at the mart, I have your hand to
show: If the skin were parchment, and the blows you gave
were ink, Your own handwriting would tell you what I think.
Ant. E. I think, thou art an ass.
Marry, so it doth appear
Ant. E. You are sad, signior Balthazar: 'Pray god,
our cheer May answer my good will, and your good welcome
here. Bal. I hold your dainties cheap, sir, and your
welcome dear. Ant. E. O, signior Balthazar, either at flesh or fish, A table full of welcome makes scarce one dainty
dish. Bal. Good meat, sir, is common; that every
churl affords. Ant. E. And welcome more common; for that's
nothing but words. Bal.' Small cheer, and great welcome, makes a
Ant. E. Ay, to a niggardly host, and more sparing
guest: But though my cates be mean, take them in good
part; Better cheer may you have, but not with better
heart. But, soft; my door is lock’d; Go bid them let us in. Dro. E. Maud, Bridget, Marian, Cicely, Gillian,
Jen'! Dro. S. [within.] Mome, malt-horse, capon, cox
comb, idiot, patch! Either get thee from the door, or sit down at the
hatch: Dost thou conjure for wenches, that thou call'st for
such store, When one is one too many? Go, get thee from the Dro. E. What patch is made our porter? My
master stays in the street. Dro. S. Let him walk from whence he came, lest
he catch cold on's feet. Ant. E. Who talks within there? ho,open the door. Dro. S. Right, sir, I'll tell you when, an you'll
tell me wherefore. Ant. E. Wherefore? for my dinner; I have not
din'd to-day. Dro. S. Nor to-day here you must not; come
again, when you may. Ant. E. What art thou, that keep'st me out from
the house I owe? Dro. S. The porter for this time, sir, and my
name is Dromio. Dro. E. O villain, thou hast stolen both mine of
fice and my name; The one ne'er got me credit, the other mickle blame. If thou had'st been Dromio to-day in my place, Thou would'st have chang'd thy face for a name, or
thy name for an ass. Luc. [within.] What a coil is there? Dromio,
who are those at the gate? Dro. E. Let my master in, Luce. Luc.
Faith no; he comes too late; And so tell your master. Dro. E.
O Lord, I must laugh:Have at you
with a proverb.—Shall I set in Luc. Have at you with another: that's, -When?
can you tell?
Dro. S. If thy name be called Luce, Luce, thou
hast answer'd him well.
Ant. E. Do you hear, you minion? you'll let us
in, I hope? Luc. I thought to have ask'd you. Dro. S.
And you said, no. Dro. E. So, come, help; well struck; there was
blow for blow.
tell for whose sake? Dro. E. Master, knock the door hard. Luc.
Let him knock till it ache. Ant. E. You'll cry for this, minion, if I beat the
door down. Luc. What needs all that, and a pair of stocks
in the town? Adr. [within. ] Who is that at the door, that
keeps all this noise? Dro. S. By my troth, your town is troubled with
unruly boys. Ant. E. Are you there, wife? you might have
come before. Adr. Your wife, sir knave! go, get you from the
door. Dro. E. If you went in pain, master, this knave
would go sore. Ang. Here is neither cheer, sir, nor welcome;
we would fain have either. Bal. In debating which was best, we shall part
with neither. Dro. E. They stand at the door, master; bid them