6

But there was no doubt about it that, on this my twenty-first birthday, things were looking very fishy. O,' said I to myself, if I had only in my hands one half of the thousand pounds that this donkey of a guardian of mine has wasted on my professional training! Why, there were half a dozen good things I knew of that I could have worked with five hundred pounds. But what was the good of that paltry hundred? And when it was gone, what should I do?' I was a sanguine youth, but I own the prospect staggered me. My mind's eye conjured up a stern court-martial of wasted hours, neglected opportunities: austere Duty was the president, who read the finding of the court; and hungry Want was the provostmarshal, who led me away to my doom.

It was in a dusky little room in Islington that I held this soliloquy, on a dull November night, with the rain drizzling against the window-panes. I had determined to stop at home that night and look into my affairs a little, and make up my mind what to do. Should I abandon this kind of life altogether, spend my last hundred in cramming, and try to pass the law examination? Respectability has its advantages. But, then, wasn't it too late? Had I the capacity to work up in six months what I ought to have been acquiring during the last five years? It's no use taking a virtuous resolution unless you can carry it out.

6

There's nothing like a pipe when you're in a fix. I loaded one and lighted it, and started walking about the room. By and by I came opposite the pier-glass, a little, smoky, flyblown kind of a thing. Now,' I said, addressing my own dim image in the glass, 'you're not cut out for a lawyer; a fellow for that wants an adamantine kind of a mug. It's an advantage for some kind of work to look soft, but it isn't for a lawyer's work, because half of what he does is mere gag. Now, here was I, a man with a face full of sensibility, curly hair, a nice sloping forehead, prominent eyes, a large intelligent nose, and mouth expressive of every sentiment except application to business. Clearly I would not do for the law. But, then, what was I to do?'

At that moment I heard a gentle knock at the door below. 'Very well,' I said, throwing myself on the horse-hair sofa, with my heels up in the air, perhaps that's a call.'

It was Ned Spicer.

Now Ned was a sort of hanger-on to the dramatic world, including in that almost everything in the way of entertainment, down to conjurers and acrobats. I had made a friend of Ned by lending him a fiver once, when his wife was ill, and he was in a terrible hole. He never paid me; but that was another of my judicious investments; for Ned had given me what, in my unregenerate days, we used to call the straight tip' more than once.

'Now, sir,' said Ned, as soon as the preliminaries-including gin

and-water-had been adjusted, 'do you want to be put up to a good thing ?'

Indeed I do, Ned,' I said.

And will you promise to carry out faithfully what I tell you, without asking any questions ?'

I thought for a moment, and then I said, 'Yes, I will, Ned.' 'And if it turns out a real good thing, you will let me have a slice ?'

'I will.'

Then do you know anybody who can lay his hands on a hundred pounds?'

Again I meditated. I think,' I said, that if I saw my way, I do know a friend who might advance me as much.'

'Very well, sir, then you go and get the hundred pounds, and run down to Ludtown by the night train; and at nine o'clock in the morning do you go to No. 15 Sidney-street, and see the secretary of the Philharmonic Hall, and take it for a month. Now don't ask

any questions-just you go and do what I tell you.'

Ned tossed off his glass of gin, and departed.

I looked at Bradshaw, and saw that there was a train at 9.15 that got to Ludtown about 3 A.M. I had no time to lose in represently on my way.

flection, and I sent for a cab, and was

Ludtown isn't a cheerful place to arrive at under any circumstances, least of all at three o'clock of a drizzly November morning. It doesn't seem a town at all, in fact, as far as streets go, but just a jumble of factories and warehouses, with a few public-houses among

them.

There was an hotel, however, and to that I obtained admittance. At eight o'clock I roused myself with considerable difficulty, and had some breakfast, and sallied out. I soon found the Philharmonic Hall, a large brick building, without any windows. The secretary had just arrived.

'I wish to engage the hall for a month,' I said, without any beating about the bush.

'O, certainly,' he said, with a little hesitation, however, scanning me narrowly. 'Are you here on behalf of Mr. Shrike?'

'No; I'm here on my own behalf,' I said modestly, giving him my card.

'Yes,' he said, twiddling it between his thumb and finger. May I ask for what purpose you want the hall ?'

For an entertainment,' I said at hazard. The question took me by surprise. What did I want it for?

And what is the nature of the entertainment?'

Magic and mystery-that kind of thing.'

'O, yes,' he said;

we can't object to that, of course. We are bound to let you the hall, as it is not let to any one else; the rent

for the month is two hundred pounds,' he said, looking at me severely, as much as to say-That's a staggerer for you!

Ah, well, that's quite enough for it,' I said with nonchalance. What's the deposit ?'

A hundred pounds.'

'I happen to have a Bank of England note of that amount in my pocket,' I said, handing out a crisp new £100 note-the proceeds of my guardian's last cheque. Give me a receipt, please.'

He gave me a receipt on a printed form, and leaving my name and address, I returned to my hotel, after signing a contract to take the hall for a month.

Now it's one of my peculiarities, to which I owe a good deal of my success in life, that I never begin to be frightened till after I've done a rash thing. When there's action going on I'm as steadfast as a rock; but it's the waiting part of the business that tries one; and I was horribly frightened: I seemed to have flung away my last chance in life. My hundred pounds was gone, and I'd made myself liable for as much more.

There was nothing to relieve the tedium of my anxiety. The coffee-room of the hotel was a long narrow room, with a fireplace at one end, and the walls covered with a crimson flock paper. A long table was laid out with a white cloth upon it; so many plates and accessories for breakfast, so many for dinner. A smaller table at the end of the room held a Directory and a Bible. Three windows looked out upon a dirty narrow street, along which some umbrellacovered individual occasionally tramped, or some heavy wagon, loaded with bales, thundered, on its way to the railway station.

The day passed away with leaden hours. I got into a sort of comatose state-dozed at intervals-waking as often with a start. Darkness came on; the lamps began to twinkle along the sloppy street. Still I sat by the fire, on a slippery horsehair chair, heavy with sleep and care; and at last I went right off into a nap.

I awoke at the opening of the door, which let in a great waft of raw damp air. The gas in the coffee-room was not lighted; I was the only guest using the room, and had not asked for it. A man entered-stout, rather short, wrapped in a heavy drab overcoat. He came up to the fireplace, and, putting his elbow on the chimneypiece, began to warm his feet at the fire. He muttered and grumbled to himself, and seemed in a very bad temper about something. Presently he rang the bell, and, when the waiter came in, ordered a glass of brandy-and-water.

'Shall I light the gas ?' said the waiter.

Yes-no, never mind the gas.'

I was rather glad of this. It struck me-I didn't know whythat I was destined to have a passage of arms with this gentleman, and I preferred that it should be in the dark. I was like the man

who, having to fight a duel with a practised shot, availed himself of his privilege to fix the place of meeting, to choose a darkened room. This was my first real essay in the battle of life: I wasn't sure of my power of command over the facial muscles, and was the more composed that I had the shield of obscurity over my features.

'Waiter,' I said, just as he was leaving the room, pretending to wake up suddenly, bring me a glass of brandy-and-water.'

'That'll be two glasses,' cried the waiter. 'Let's see-I forget your number, sir.'

'Sixty-six.'

That's the number of the beast, isn't it?' said the stranger gruffly.

'I think not,' I said politely. 'I believe three sixes to be the appropriate number of that, ah-functionary.'

'I daresay you're right. I'm not good for much at legerdemain and necromancy myself,' said the stranger.

'I should judge not; rather belonging to the heavy brigade, I should say.'

'Ah!' said the man, looking down upon me with a sort of surprise. Been here long?'

'Since this morning. Have you been here long?'

'Just come down. Beastly hole, ain't it?'

'I have hardly been here long enough to judge. The inhabitants seem harmless and well disposed.'

'That all depends on what you call well disposed: they're not disposed to be humbugged.'

That's not to be wondered at; few people undergo that operation voluntarily.'

'Ah!' growled my friend, once more scowling down upon me. When I said it was a beastly hole,' went on the stranger after a while, seeing that I wasn't disposed to make any further remark, 'I meant professionally-from an artistic point of view. Perhaps I have the honour of speaking to a brother artist.'

'I don't presume to call myself an artist,' I said.

In my humble way I try to amuse and, I hope, to instruct the British public.'

The stranger made a wry face, and the brandy-and-water coming

in just then, took a huge gulp of it.

I always feel an interest, sir,' he said, 'in youthful talent. My name is Shrike, sir-W. B. Shrike.'

I bowed, but did not reciprocate his confidence.

If in my youth I had possessed a friend who would have given me a little good advice, sir, I should have avoided many a quicksand, many a pitfall, sir; and for that reason,' he went on, looking at me keenly, when I meet with an artless guileless young chap, who doesn't know the world, I like to help him, if I can.'

'That's very kind of you,' I said.

Kind! well, it's my disposition. Now, sir,' he said, turning suddenly upon me, I hope you haven't had any thoughts of opening your entertainment here.'

'I don't think I mentioned any entertainment,' I said mildly.

So I understood you, sir-so I understood you; but if I'm wrong, I apologise.'

'You're not wrong as it happens. I not only intend to open my entertainment, but to keep it open for a month.'

He held up his hands, and turned his eyes to the ceiling.

'Well, well, if you must open here, take my advice: engage the smallest public room in this hotel; it will seat about fifty; and if you advertise plentifully you may draw about five shillings a night.'

'Ah, you see, I've engaged the Philharmonic.'

'The Philharmonic!' cried the man with a sort of scream. The Philharmonic-and for a magical entertainment! dear, dear!' 'I didn't say anything about magic, I think.'

'Yes, surely so I understood you, sir; but if I'm wrong, I apologise.'

'You're not far wrong; without indicating the precise nature of my entertainment, I may say that it is of a somewhat magical character.'

'Pray, sir, did they show you the museum when you went to the Philharmonic ?'

'No.'

Ah, you ought to have seen that to have learnt a lesson. There's the apparatus of two conjurers, a panorama, an orrery, dissolving views—ah, and that's not half-all detained for rent due. It's distressing to see. They make a boast of it too. This is the place to bust up your cadgering fellows, they say—your lakers, according to their jargon.'

'But they can't do that if you pay the rent in advance,' I said. 'I tell you what, sir,' said my friend after a pause, my heart bleeds to see a young artist so imposed upon. Take my advice, sir, throw up this disastrous contract; you might get somebody to take it off your hands for half the money. Betake yourself to some place where talent is appreciated, where skill is rewarded and genius cultivated, and you'll bless the name of W. B. Shrike for ever after.'

'But don't you think,' said I, looking modestly downwards, 'that when the people here come to know that real sterling genius is at their doors-'

They'd shut and double lock 'em. You don't know the besotted bigotry of the place.'

'Well,' I said, rising, 'to end the discussion, I'm prepared to lose a few hundreds, if I must.'