nuel, God with us, to fave fuch a monstrous finner as me and my old mafter confirmed me in it as much as he could; he reprefented it as impoffible, and the very height of prefumption to indulge fuch a thought. I found my want of faith, and I found also that the Lord had promised to give it, to work it in the hearts of his people by the operation of his Spirit; therefore my prayer to him was, to fulfil his promise; to give me faith; to work a firm perfuafion in my mind that Jefus Chrift was mine, and that I had an intereft in him; that all that he did and fuffered was to work out and bring in an everlafting righteousness to justify me. This for a long time I fought after, and, bleffed be God, not in vain; for, about three years ago, I did find a comfortable perfuafion that Chrift was mine, that he was my Surety, that he had paid all my debts, and that his precious blood was shed tq wash away my fins. This faith came to me by hearing the word preached; and upon thus believing and receiving him into my heart, I did experience unutterable reft and peace, and fuch a manifeftation of pardoning love, as caufed me to rejoice with that joy that is unspeakable and full of glory; and with Zion of old could fay, that when the Lord was thus pleafed to turn my cap tivity, I was like them that dream. And from that time the Lord appeared to me as a loving, kind, and tender father in Jefus Chrift, and completely reconciled and well pleased with me in him. Jefus Chrift came into my heart and affections as the

chiefeft

chiefest among ten thousand; yea, the altogether lovely; and I had no doubt of being one of his people.

These precious vifitations lafted with me for fome months, during which time I had a very heaven upon earth; joy and gladness was found in my heart, thanksgiving and the voice of melody. I came from the houfe of God oftentimes with scarce a thought out of heaven, rejoicing in Jefus Chrift as the God of my falvation. Inftead of the law curfing and condemning me for disobedience when I read it, as it used to do, there was Chrift at the end of it for righteousness to me. Inftead of con fcience curfing and condemning, there was a fweet peace, the blood of Jefus fpeaking better things than that of Abel. Inftead of the devil accufing and condemning me for fin, he was filenced, for my guilt was gone. Inftead of flavish and fervile fear of death working in my heart, perfect love kept that out. Instead of God the Father appearing an angry judge and a confuming fire in his law, as he used to do, now nothing but love in the altogether lovely Jefus: and this experience is what I am fure will make the stubborn and flinty heart give way. For when, on the one hand, I looked at myself, at what I had been, and faw myself to be the most unworthy, and the very laft that ever could have looked for, or expected falvation; and, on the other hand, the great goodness and love of Jefus in dying for fuch a wretch, and fhedding

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abroad

abroad his redeeming love in fuch an heart as mine; this caused me to abhor myself, and repent in duft and afhes, and cry out, Grace! Grace! and to fay, To thy name, O Lord, be all the glory and praise.

I never had fuch living as this before; but, alas! these things left me again, and the devil was more violent than ever: he was fure that it was all a delufion; that he would have me after all; that I was his child, and fhould never be faved, but muft perish at last. He got me to look within at myself, and feeing mine own corruption, the many evil thoughts that paffed through my mind, the unholy defires and filthy lufts that were moving about within; a fight of these things caused unbelief to work, and that brought in flavish fear, and a long train of doubts, which was followed by tormenting thoughts; and now the devil had got my peace defturbed, for I drew many grievous conclufions that I could not furely be one of the Lord's elect, and oftentimes was ready to give all up for loft, and that I never fhould be able either to hold on or hold out, that I fhould one day perish in my own corruptions; yet now and then the Lord would be pleafed to fend me fuch a heavenly discourse, and filence all my doubts and fears in fuch a manner with a sense of his love, that I really believed him to be my reconciled Father ftill, and Jefus Chrift to be my Saviour. Then again unbelief, doubts, and fears, would make fuch head against me, that I

would

would call all former experience into queftion. In this manner I lived for a long time a life of as complete chequer-work as ever any one did, determining of my state according to my frames and feelings, as if the Lord changed as often as they. But now I am perfuaded that he loved me from everlasting in his dearly beloved Son, otherwife he never would have shed abroad his love in my heart in time: and, as he has thus been pleased to give me a tafte of it, fo I believe that this his loving kindness fhall never be taken away from me, neither fhall his faithfulnefs and truth in the promise be ever permitted to fail. As he was pleased to choose his people freely, without any thing in them to merit his favour, fo he will fave them in Chrift Jefus freely, with an everlafting falvation; and that he will give them all, not only grace here, but glory hereafter. That they fhall never perifh, not one of them, neither shall any pluck them out of his hands. That they fhall perfevere in the Lord's strength, and not one ever totally and finally fall away. That Jefus Chrift being their head and husband, and they the purchase of his blood, his portion, and his hire, he will never lofe one, but will raife them all up at the laft day, fo that not a hoof fhall be left behind. And, furthermore, they being all fecured by the bond of an everlasting covenant, and the everlafting love of Father, Son, and Spirit, the threefold cord which cannot be broken, they muft of confequence be faved, and brought fafe home to glory; otherwise

this cord would be broken, and the covenant agreement between the ever bleffed Trinity would be null and void. All that Chrift died for muft be faved, and none elfe can be, because there is falvation in no other. Though the Lord is pleased to will a thousand changes in us, yet he is the fame; the unchangeable Jehovah; the fame yesterday, today, and for ever; he refts in his love to his people, and here it is that my poor foul finds, and ever defires to find, reít.

I have lately had fuch a revival of the work of grace upon my foul, that fermon after fermon has come with fuch a comforting and establishing power, as to filence all my doubts and fears, the ever blessed Spirit bearing witnefs to my heart and confcience that my record is on high. He hath alfo condefcended to shine upon my path in fuch a manner as to enable me clearly to fee that it was he, and he alone, that hath been with me from my mother's womb; that he has directed all my fteps, and that he hath fixed the bounds of my habitation: and Į may truly fay, to the honour of his ever bleffed name, that it was he that preferved me in Chrift Jefus through all my fin and wickednefs unto a future calling. Sparing and long-fuffering mercy hath followed me all my days, and though the time has been that I never expected to be faved, yet now I know, and am fure, that Jefus Chrift doth receive finners, and eateth with them ftill. And this I ever will infift upon, as long as I live in the world, that

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