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"Here vermin eat your majesty,

There meagre subjects stand unfed:
What surer signs of poverty,

Than many lice, and little bread?

"Then, Sir, the present minute choose,
Our armies are advanced :

Those terms you at the Hague refuse,
At Paris won't be granted.

"Consider this, and Dunkirk raze,
And Anna's title own;

Send one pretender out to graze,
And call the other home.

"Your humble servant,

66 BREAD THE STAFF OF LIFE.

ADDISON.

N° 25. TUESDAY, JUNE 7, 1709,

Quicquid agunt homines

nostri est farrago libelli.

JUV. Sat. i. 85, 86.

Whatever good is done, whatever ill-
By human kind, shall this collection fill,

White's Chocolate-house, June 6.

A LETTER from a young lady, written in the most passionate terms, wherein she laments the misfortune of a gentleman, her lover, who was lately wounded in a duel, has turned my thoughts to that subject, and inclined me to examine into the causes which precipitate men into so fatal a folly'. And as it has

* On duelling, see No 26, 28, 29, 31, 38, and 39.

been proposed to treat of subjects of gallantry in the article from hence, and no one point in nature is more proper to be considered by the company who frequent this place than that of duels, it is worthy our consideration to examine into this chimerical groundless humour, and to lay every other thought aside, until we have stripped it of all its false pretences to credit and reputation amongst men.

But I must confess, when I consider what I am going about, and run over in my imagination all the endless crowd of men of honour who will be offended at such a discourse; I am undertaking, methinks, a work worthy an invulnerable hero in romance, rather than a private gentleman with a single rapier : but as I am pretty well acquainted by great opportunities with the nature of man, and know of a truth, that all men fight against their will, the danger vanishes, and resolution rises upon this subject. For this reason, I shall talk very freely on a custom which all men wish exploded, though no man has courage enough to resist it.

But there is one unintelligible word, which I fear will extremely perplex my dissertation, and I confess to you I find very hard to explain; which is, the term

Satisfaction.' An honest country gentleman had the misfortune to fall into company with two or three modern men of honour, where he happened to be very ill treated; and one of the company, being conscious of his offence, sends a note to him in the morning, and tells him, he was ready to give him satisfaction. This is fine doing,' says the plain fellow; last night he sent me away cursedly out of humour, and this morning he fancies it would be a satisfaction to be run through the body.'

As the matter at present stands, it is not to do

man,

handsome actions denominates a man of honour; it is enough if he dares to defend ill ones. Thus you often see a common sharper in competition with a gentleman of the first rank: though all mankind is convinced, that a fighting gamester is only a pickpocket with the courage of an highwayman. One cannot with any patience reflect on the unaccountable jumble of persons and things in this town and nation, which occasions very frequently, that a brave man falls by a hand below that of a common hangand yet his executioner escapes the clutches of the hangman for doing it. I shall therefore hereafter consider, how the bravest men in other ages and nations have behaved themselves upon such incidents as we decide by combat; and shew, from their practice, that this resentment neither has its foundation from true reason, or solid fame; but is an imposture, made of cowardice, falsehood, and want of understanding. For this work, a good history of quarrels would be very edifying to the public, and I apply myself to the town for particulars and circumstances within their knowledge, which may serve to embellish the dissertation with proper cuts. Most of the quarrels I have ever known, have proceeded from some valiant coxcomb's persisting in the wrong, to defend some prevailing folly, and preserve himself from the integrity of owning a mistake.

By this means it is called 'giving a man satisfaction,' to urge your offence against him with your sword; which puts me in mind of Peter's order to the keeper, in The Tale of a Tub2: If you neglect to do all this, damn you and your generation for ever: and so we bid you heartily farewell.' If the contra

2 Sect. 4. Swift's Works, 8vo. edit. 1801, vol. ii. p. 120. VOL. I.

N

diction in the very terms of one of our challenges were as well explained and turned into downright English, would it not run after this manner?

SIR,

• YOUR extraordinary behaviour last night, and the liberty you were pleased to take with me, makes me this morning give you this to tell you, because you are an ill-bred puppy, I will meet you in Hyde-park, an hour hence; and because you want both breeding and humanity, I desire you would come with a pistol in your hand, on horseback, and endeavour to shoot me through the head, to teach you more manners. If you fail of doing me this pleasure, I shall say, you are a rascal, on every post in town: and so, Sir, if you will not injure me more, I shall never forgive what you have done already. Pray, Sir, do not fail of getting every thing ready; and you will infinitely oblige, Sir, your most obedient humble servant, &c.'

From my own Apartment, June 6.

AMONG the many employments I am necessarily put upon by my friends, that of giving advice is the most unwelcome to me; and, indeed, I am forced to use a little art in the manner; for some people will ask counsel of you, when they have already acted what they tell you is still under deliberation. I had almost lost a very good friend the other day, who came to know how I liked his design to marry such a lady? I answered, By no means; and I must be positive against it, for very solid reasons, which are not proper to be communicated.'—'Not proper to be communicated!' said he, with a grave air, I will know the bottom of this.' I saw him moved, and knew from thence he was already determined; there

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fore evaded it by saying, To tell you the truth, dear Frank, of all women living, I would have her myself.'' Isaac,' said he, thou art too late, for we have been both one these two months.'

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I learned this caution by a gentleman's consulting me formerly about his son. He railed at his damned extravagance, and told me, in a very little time he would beggar him by the exorbitant bills which came from Oxford every quarter. 'Make the rogue bite upon the bridle,' said I; ' pay none of his bills; it will but encourage him to further trespasses.' He looked plaguy sour at me. His son soon after sent up a paper of verses forsooth, in print, on the last public occasion; upon which, he is convinced the boy has parts, and a lad of spirit is not to be too much cramped in his maintenance, lest he take ill courses. Neither father nor son can ever since endure the sight of me.

These sort of people ask opinions only out of the fulness of their hearts on the subject of their perplexity, and not from a desire of information.

There is nothing so easy as to find out which opinion the man in doubt has a mind to; therefore the sure way is, to tell him that is certainly to be chosen. 'Then you are to be very clear and positive; leave no handle for scruple. Bless me! Sir, there is no room for a question!' This rivets you into his heart; for you at once applaud his wisdom, and gratify his inclination. However, I had too much bowels to be insincere to a man who came yesterday to know of me, with which of two eminent men in the city he should place his son; their names are Paulo and Avaro. This gave me much debate with myself, because not only the fortune of the youth, but his virtue also, dependeth upon this choice. The men

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