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i Lord. The web of our life is of a mingled yarn, good and ill together: our virtues would be proud, if our faults whipt them not; and our crimes would despair, if they were not cherishid by our virtues.
Enter a Servant. How now? where's
Master ? Ser. He met the Duke in the street, Sir, of whom he hath taken a folemn leave : his Lordship will next morning for France. The Duke hath offered him letters of commendations to the King.
2 Lord. They shall be no more than needful there, if they were more than they can commend.
S CE N E IV.
tartnessi i here's his Lordship now. How now, my Lord, is't not after midnight ?
Ber. I have to night dispatch'd fixteen businesses, a month's length a-piece, by an abstract of success ; I have congied with the Duke, done my adieu with his nearest; buried a wife, mourn'd for her ; writ to my lady mother, I am returning; entertained my convoy; and, between these main parcels of dispatch, effected many nicer needs : the last was the greatest, but That I have not ended yet.
2 Lord. If the business be of any difficulty, and this morning your departure hence, it requires hafte of your Lordship.
Ber. I mean, the business is not ended, as fearing to hear of it hereafter. But shall we have this dialogue between the fool and the soldier? come, bring forth this counterfeit Medal ; h'as deceiv'd me, like a double-meaning prophesier.
2 Lord. Bring him forth; h'as fat in the Stocks all night, poor gallant knave.
Ber. No matter; his heels have deserv'd it, in usurping his spurs so long. How does he carry himself ?
i Lord. I have told your Lordship already : the Stocks carry him. But to answer you as you would be understood, he weeps like a wench that had shed her milk; he hath confess'd himself to Morgan, whom he supposes to be a Friar, from the time of his remembrance, to this very instant disaster of his setting i'th' Stocks; and what, think you, he hath confeft?
Ber. Nothing of me, has he ?
2 Lord. His confeffion is taken, and it shall be read
Enter Parolles, with his Interpreter.
i Lord. Hoodman comes : Portotartarosa.
Int. He calls for the tortures ; what will you say without 'em ?
Par, I will confess what I know without constraint;
Int. Boko Chimurcho.
answer to what I shall ask you out of a note.
Int. First demand of him, how many Horse the
weak and unserviceable: the troops are all scatter'd, and the Commanders very poor rogues, upon my reputation and credit, and as I hope to live.
Int. Shall I set down your answer so ?
Par. Do, I'll take the Sacrament on't, how and which way you
will: all's one to me. Ber. What a past-saving slave is this !
i Lord. Y'are deceiv'd, my Lord, this is Monsieur Parolles, the gallant militarist, that was his own phrase, that had the whole theory of war in the knot of his scarf, and the practice in the chape of his dagger.
2 Lord. I will never truft a man again for keeping his sword clean; por believe, he can have every thing in him, by wearing his apparel neatly.
Int. Well, that's fet down.
Par. Five or fix thousand horse I said (I will say true) or thereabouts, set down, for I'll speak truth.
i Lord. He's very near the truth in this.
Ber. But I con him no thanks for't, in the nature he delivers it.
Par. Poor rogues, I pray you, say.
Par. I humbly thank you, Sir: a truth's a truth, the rogues are marvellou's
poor. Int. Demand of him, of what strength they are a-foot. What say you to that? Par. By my troth, Sir, if I were to live ilris
prefent hour, I will tell true. Let me fee; Spurio a hundred and fifty, Sebastian so many, Corambus so many, Jaques so many; Guiltian, Cosmo, Lodowick, and Gratii, two hundred and fifty each; mine own company, Chitopher, Vaumond, Bentii, two hundred and fifty each: fo that the muster file, rotten and sound, upon my life, amounts not to fifteen thousand Poll; half of the which dare not shake the snow from off their calfocks, left they shake themselves to pieces.
Ber. What shall be done to him ?
i Lord. Nothing, but let him have thanks. Demand of him my conditions, and what credit I have with the Duke.
Int. Well, that's fet down. You shall demand of him, whether one Captain Dumain bc i'th' camp, a Frenchman: what his reputation is with the Duke, wliat his valour, honesty, and expertness in war; or whether he thinks, it were not poffible with well
weighing sums of gold to corrupt him to revolt. What say you to this ? what do you know of it?
Par. I beseech you, let me answer to the particular of the Interrogatories. Demand them singly.
Int. Do you know this Captain Dumain ?
Par: I know him; he was a botcher's 'prentice in Paris, from whence he was whipt for getting the sheriff's fool with child; a dumb innocent, that could not say him
nay. Ber. Nay, by your leave, hold your hands; tho' I know, his brains are forfeit to the next tile that falls,
Int. Well, is this Captain in the Duke of Florence's Camp?
Par. Upon my knowledge he is, and lowly.
i Lord. Nay, look not so upon me, we shall hear of your Lordship anon.
Int. What is his reputation with the Duke ?
Par. The Duke knows him for no other but a poor officer of mine; and writ to me the other day, to turn him out o'th' band. I think, I have his letter in my pocket.
Int. Marry, we'll search.
Par. In good sadness, I do not know; either it is there, or it is upon the file with the Duke's other letters in my tent. Int. Here'tis, here's a paper, shall I read it to you? Par. I do not know, if it be it or no. Ber. Our Interpreter does it well. 1 Lord. Excellently: Int. Dian, the Count's a fool, and full of gold.
Par. That is not the Duke's letter, Sir; that is an advertisement to a proper maid in Florence, one Diana, to take heed of the allurement of one Count Rousillon, a foolish idle boy; but, for all that, very ruttish. I pray you, Sir, put it up again.
Int. Nay, I'll read it first, by your favour.
Par. My meaning in't, I proiest, was very honest in the behalf of the maid : for I knew the young
Count to be a dangerous and lascivious boy, who is
Interpreter reads the letter.
After he scores, he never pays the score:
He ne'er pays after debts, take it before.
Thine, as he vow'd to thee in thine ear,
Ber. He shall be whipt through the army with this rhime in his forehead,
2 Lord. This is your devoted friend, Sir, the manifold linguist, and the armi-potent soldier.
Ber. I could endure any thing before but a cat, and now he's a cat to me.
Int. I perceive, Sir, by the General's looks, we shall be fain to hang you.
Par. My life, Sir, in any case; not that I am afraid to die; but that my offences being many, I would repent out the remainder of nature. Let me live, Sir, in a Dungeon, i'th' Stocks, any where, so I may live.
Int. We'll see what may be done, so you confess freely; therefore, once inore, to this Captain Dumain: you have answer'd to his reputation with the Duke, and to his valour. What is his honesty ?
Par. He will steal, Sir, an egg out of a cloister; for rapes and ravilhments he parallels Nellus. He professes no keeping of oaths ; in breaking them he is stronger than Hercules. He will lie, Sir, with such volubility, that you would think, truth were a fool: