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Mar. Ay, Sir, I have them at my finger's ends : marry, now I let your hand go, I am barren.
[Exit Maria. Sir To. O Knight, thou lack'st a cup of canary: when did I see thee so put down?
Sir And. Never in your life, I think, unless you see canary put me down : methinks, sometimes I have no more wit than a christian, or an ordinary man has ; but I am a great eater of beef, and, I believe, that does harm to my wit.
Sir To. No question.
Sir And. An I thought that, I'd forswear it. I'll ride home to-morrow, Sir Toby.
Sir To. Pourquoy, my dear Knight.
Sir And. What is pourquoy ? do, or not do? I would, I had bestowed that time in the tongues that I have sin fencing, dancing, and bear-beating 0, had I but follow'd the arts!
Sir To. Then hadft thou had an excellent head of hair..
Sir And. Why, would that have mended my hair?
Sir To. Past question ; for:* thou seeft, it will not curl by nature. 3'
Sir And. But it becomes me well enough, does't
Sir To. Excellent! it hangs like flax on a distaff, and I hope to see a house-wife take thee between her legs, and spin it off. ! ...?
Sir And. Faith, I'll home to-morrow, Sir Toby; your niece will not be seen, or, if she be, it's four to one she'll none of me: the Duke himself here, hard by; 'wooes her.''
Sir To. She'll none o'th' Duke, she'll not match above her degree, neither in estate, years, nor wit; I have heard her swear it. Tut, there's life in't, man.
Sir And. I'll stay a month longer, I'm a fellow o'th' * thou feeft, it will not cool my nature.] We should read, it will not curl by nature. The Joke is evident.
ftrangest mind i'th' world: I delight in masks and revels fomctimes altogether.
Sir To. Art thou good at these kick-shaws, Knight? : Sir And. As any man in Illyria, whatsoever he be, under the degree of my betters ; and yet I will not compare with an old man,
Sir To. What is thy excellence in a galliard, Knight? , Sir And. Faith, I can cut a caper.
Sir To. And I can cut the mutton to't.
Sir And. And, I think, I have the back-trick, fimply as strong as any man in Illyria.
Sir To. Wherefore are these things hid? wherefore have these gifts a curtain before them? are they like to take duft, like mistress Mall's picture? why doft thou not go to church in a galliard, and come home in a coranto? my very walk should be a jig! I would not so much as make water, but in a fink-a-pace : what dost thou mean? is it a world to hide virtues in ? I did think, by the excellent constitution of thy leg, it was form'd under the star of a galliard.
Sir And. Ay, 'tis strong, and it does indifferent well in flame-colour'd stocking. Shall we fet about fome revels ?
, Sir. To. What shall we do else ? were we not born under Taurus?
Sir And. Taurus ? that's sides and heart.
Sir To. No, Sir, it is legs and thighs. Let me fee thee caper; ha! higher: ha! ha! -excellent.
S CE N E
Changes to the Palace. Enter Valentine, and Viola in man's attire. Val. F the Duke continue these favours towards
you, Cesario, you are like to be much advanc'd; he hath known you but three days, and already you are no ftranger.
Vio. You either fear his humour, or my negligence, that you call in question the continuance of his love. Is he inconstant, Sir, in his favours? Val. No, believe me.
Enter Duke, Curio, and Attendants.
Vio. Sure, my noble Lord,
Duke. Be clamorous, and leap all civil bounds,
Vio. Say, I do speak with her, my Lord; what then?
Duke. O, then, unfold the passion of my love,
Vio. I think not so, my Lord.
Duke. Dear lad, believe it:
And thou shalt live as freely as thy Lord, :,:
Mar JAY, either tell me where thou haft been,
or I will not open my lips so wide as a brifle may enter, in way of thy excuse; my Lady will hang thee for thy absence.
Clo. Let her hang me; he, that is well hang'd in this world, needs fear no colours. Mar. Make That good. Clo. He shall fee none to fear.
Mar. A good lenten answer: I can tell thee where that saying was born, of, I fear no colours.
Clo. Where, good mistress Mary?
Mar. In the wars; and that may you be bold to say in your foolery.
Clo. Well, God give them wisdom that have it; and those that are fools, let them use their talents.
Mar. Yet you will be hang'd for being so long abfent, or be turn'd away; is not that as good as a hanging to you?
Clo. Marry, a good hanging prevents a bad marriage; and for turning away, let summer bear it out.
Mar. You are refolute then ?
Clo. Not so neither, but I am resoly'd on two points.
Mar. That if one break, the other will hold; or, if Both break, your galkins fall. Clo. Apt, in good faith ; very apt: well, go thy
way, if Sir Toby would leave drinking, thou wert as witty a piece of Eve's flesh as any in Illyria.
Mar. Peace, you rogue, no more o' that: here comes my Lady; make your excufe wisely, you were beft.
Enter Olivia, and Malvolio. Clo. IT, and't be thy will, put me into a good
fooling! those wits, that think they have thee, do very oft prøve fools ; and I, that am sure I lack thee, may pass for a wise man.
For what says Quinapalus, Beiter be a witty fool than a foolish wit, God bless thee, Lady!
Oli. Take the fool away.
Oli. Go'to, y'are a dry fool; I'll no more of you; besides, you grow dishonest.
Clo. Two faults, Madona, that drink and good counsel will amend; for give the dry fool drink, then is the fool not dry: Bid the dilhonelt man mend himself; if he mend, he is no longer dishonest; if he cannot, let the botcher mend him. Any thing, that's mended, is but patch'd; virtue, that transgresses, is but patch'd with fin; and fin, that amends, is but patch'd with virtue. If that this simple fyllogifm will serve, so; if it will not, what remedy ? as there is no true cuckold but calamity, so beauty's a flower: the Lady bade take away the fool, therefore, I say again, take her away.
Oli. Sir, I bade them take away you.
Clo. Misprision in the highest degree.-Lady, Cucullus non facit monachum; that's as much as to say, I wear not motley in my brain: good Madona, give me leave to prove you a fool. Oli. Can you do it? N 6