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Oli. Nay, come, I pray: 'would, thou'dit be rul'd

by me.
Seb. Madam, I will.
Oli. O, say so, and so be!

An Apartment in Olivia's House.

Enter Maria, and Clown.
Mar. TAY, I pr’ythee, put on this gown, and this

beard; make him believe, thou art Sir Topas the curate; do it quickly. I'll call Sir Toby the whilft.

(Exit Maria. Clo. Well, I'll put it on, and I will diffemble niyself in't, and I would, I were the first that ever difsembled in such a gown.

I am not tall enough to become the function well, nor lean enough to be thought a good student; but to be said an honest man, and a good housekeeper, goes as fairly, as to say, a graceful man and a great scholar. The competitors enter.

Enter Sir Toby, and Maria. Sir To. Jove bless thee, Mr. Parfon.

Clo. Bonos dies, Sir Toby; for as the old hermit of Pragile, that never saw pen and ink, very wittily said to a niece of King Gorboduck, that that is, is: so I being Mr. Parson, am Mr. Parson; for what is that, but that ? and is, but is ?

Sir To. To him, Sir Topas.
Clo. What, hoa, I say,--peace in this prison !
Sir To. The knave counterfeits well; a good knave.

(Malvolio within. Mal. Who calls there ?

Clo. Sir Topas the curate, who comes to visit Malvolio the lunatic.

Mal. Sir Topas, Sir Topas, good Sir Topas, go to my lady.


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Clo. Out, hyperbolical fiend, how vexest thou this

Talkest thou of nothing but ladies ?

Sir To. Well said, master Parfon.

Mal. Sir Topas, never was man thus wrong'd; good Sir Topas, do not think I am mad ; they have laid me here in hideous darkness.

Clo. Fie, thou dishonest sathan; I call thee by the most modest terms; for I am one of those gentle ones, that will use the devil himself with curtesy : say'lt thou, that house is dark ?

Mal. As hell, Sir Topas.

Clo. Why, it hath bay-windows transparent as haricadoes, and the clear stones towards the south-north are as lustrous as ebony; and yet complainest thou of obstruction ?

Mal. I am not mad, Sir Topas; I say to you, this house dark.

Clo. Madman, thou errest? I say, there is no darkness but ignorance; in which thou art more puzzled than the Egyptians in their fog.

Mal. I say, this house is as dark as ignorance, though ignorance were as dark as hell; and I say, there was never man thus abus'd; I am no more mad than you are, make the trial of it in any constant question.

Clo. What is the opinion of Pythagoras, concerning wild-fowl?

Mal. That the foul of our grandam might happily inhabit a bird.

Clo. What think'st thou of his opinion?

Mal. I think nobly of the soul, and no way approve of his opinion.

Clo. Fare thee well: remain thou still in darkness; thou shalt hold th' opinion of Pythagoras, ere I will allow of thy wits; and fear to kill a woodcock, left thou dispossess the soul of thy grandam. Fare thee well.



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Mal. Sir Topas, Sir Topas !
Sir To. My most exquisite Sir Topas !
Clo. Nay, I am for all waters.

Mar. Thou might'st have done this without thy beard and gown; he sees thee not.

Sir To. To him in thine own voice, and bring me word how thou find'st him: I would, we were all rid of this knavery. If he may be conveniently deliver'd, I would, he were; for I am now so far in offence with my niece, that I cannot pursue with any safety this sport to the upshot. Come by and by to my chamber.

[Exit with Maria.


Clo. Her Robin, jolly Robin, tell me how my lady does.

[Singing. Mal. Fool, Clo. My lady is unkind, perdie. Mal. Fool, Clo. Alas, why is she so ? Mal. Fool, I say ;Clo. She loves another—who calls, ha?

Mal. Good fool, as ever thou wilt deserve well at my hand, help me to a candle, and pen, ink, and paper; as I am a genıleman, I will live to be thankful to thee for't.

Clo. Mr. Malvolio !
Mal. Ay, good fool.
Clo. Alas, Sir, how fell



five wits ? Mal. Fool, there was never man fo notoriously abus’d; I am as well in my wits, fool, as thou art.

Clo. But as well! then thou art mad, indeed, if you be no better in your wits than a fool.

Mal. They have here propertied me; keep me in

* Nay, I am for all waters.] A Phrase taken from the Ador's Ability of making the Audience cry either with Mirth or Grief.


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darkness, fend ministers to me, asses, and do all they can to face me out of


wits. Clo. Advise you what you say: the minister is here. Malvolio, Malvolio, thy wits the heav'ns restore : endeavour thyself to sleep, and leave thy vain bibble babble.

Mal. Sir Topas,

Clo. Maintain no words with him, good fellow.
Who, I, Sir ? not I, Sir. God b'w'you, good Sir

Marry, amen. I will, Sir, I will.

Mal. Fool, fool, fool, I say.

Clo. Alas, Sir, be patient. What say you, Sir ? I am fhent for fpeaking to you.

Mal. Good fool, help me to some light, and some paper ; I tell thee, I am as well in my wits, as any man in Illyria.

Clo. Well-a-day, that you were, Sir!

Mal. By this hand, I am: good fool, some ink, paper and light; and convey what I set down to my Lady : It shall advantage thee more than ever the bearing of letter did.

Clo. I will help you to't. But tell me true, are you not mad, indeed, or do you but counterfeit?

Mal. Believe me, I am not: I tell thee true.

Clo. Nay. I'll ne'er believe a mad-man, 'till I see his brains, I will fetch you light, and paper, and ink.

Mal. Fool, I'll requite it in the highest degree;
I pr’ythee, be gone.
Clo. I am gone, Sir, and anon, Sir, (Singing

I'll be with you again
In a trice, like to the old vice,

Your need to fujiain :
Wo with dagger of lath, in his rage, and his wrath,

Cries, ah, ha! to the devil:
Like a mad lad, pare thy nails, dad,
Adieu, good man drivel.

[Exit. SCENE

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Changes to another Apartment in Olivia's House.

Enter Sebastian. Seb. THIS is the air, that is the glorious fun;

This pearl fae gave me, I do feel't and see't. And though 'tis wonder that enwraps me thus, Yet 'tis not madness. Where's Antonio then ? I could not find him at the Elephant ; Yet there he was, and there I found this credit, That he did range the town to seek me out. His counsel now might do me golden service; For tho' my soul disputes well with my sense, That this may be some error, but no madness; Yet doth this accident and flood of fortune So far exceed * all instance, all discourse; That I am ready to distrust mine eyes, And wrangle with my reason that persuades me To

any other trust, but that I'm mad; Or else the Lady's mad; yet if 'twere so, She could not sway her house, command her followers, Take, and give back affairs, and their dispatch, With such a smooth, discreet, and stable bearing, As, I perceive, she does : there's something in't, That is deceivable. But here she comes.

Enter Olivia and Priest.
Oli. Blame not this haste of mine : if you mean

Now go with me, and with this holy man,
Into the chantry by; there before him,
And underneath that consecrated roof,
Plight me the full assurance of your faith ;
That my most jealous and too doubtful soul

all instance, all discourse;] Instance, for Sense; Discourse, for Reason.


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