thence upon the leads and gutters, walking upon three legs, and holding me in the fourth, till he clambered up to a roof that was next to ours. I heard Glumdalclitch give a fhriek at the moment he was car rying me out. The poor girl was almost distracted: that quarter of the palace was all in an uproar; the fervants ran for ladders; the monkey was feen by hundreds in the court, fitting upon the ridge of a building, holding me like a baby in one of his fore-paws, and feeding me with the other, by cramming into my mouth fome victuals he had fqueezed out of the bag on one fide of his chaps, and patting me when I would not eat; whereat many of the rabble below could not forbear laughing; neither do I think they justly ought to be blamed, for, without question, the fight was ridiculous enough to every body but myfelf. Some of the people threw up ftones, hoping to drive the monkey down; but this was ftrictly forbidden, or elfe very probably my brains had been dashed out.

The ladders were now applied, and mounted by feveral men, which the monkey obferving, and finding himself almost encompaffed; not being able to make fpeed enough with his three legs, let me drop on a ridge tile, and made his efcape. Here I fat for fome time, five hundred yards from the ground, expecting every moment to be blown down by the wind, or to fall by my own giddinefs, and come tumbling over and over from the ridge to the eves: but an honeft lad, one of my nurfe's footmen, climbed up, and putting me into his breeches-pocket, brought me down fafe.

I was almost choaked with the filthy ftuff the monkey had crammed down my throat; but my dear little nurfe picked it out of my mouth with a small needle, and then I fell a vomiting, which gave me great relief. Yet I was fo weak and bruifed in the fides with the fqueezes given me by this odious animal, that I was forced to keep my bed a fortnight. The king, queen, and all the court, fent every day to enquire after my health, and her majesty made me feveral vifits during my fickness. The monkey was killed, and an order made that no fuch animal fhould be kept about the palace.

When I attended the king after my recovery to return him thanks for his favours, he was pleafed to rally me a good deal upon this adventure. He asked me what my

thoughts and fpeculations were while I lay in the monkey's paw; how I liked the victuals he gave me; his manner of feeding; and whether the fresh air on the roof had fharpened my ftomach. He defired to know, what I would have done upon fuch an occafion, in my own country. I told his majefty, that in Europe, we had no monkies, except fuch as were brought for curiofities from other places, and fo fmall, that I could deal with a dozen of them together, if they prefumed to attack me, And as for that monftrous animal with whom I was fo lately engaged (it was indeed as large as an elephant) if my fears had fuffered me to think fo far as to make ufe of my hanger (looking fiercely, and clapping my hand upon the hilt, as I fpoke) when he poked his paw into my chamber, perhaps I fhould have given him fuch a wound, as would have made him glad to withdraw it with more hafte than he put it in. This I delivered in a firm tone, like a perfon who was jealous left his courage should be called in queftion. However, my fpeech produced nothing elfe befides a loud laughter, which all the respect due to his majefty from thofe about him could not make them contain. This made me reflect, how vain an attempt it is for a man to endeavour to do himself honour among thofe, who are out of all degree of equality or comparison with him. And yet I have feen the moral of my own behaviour very frequent in England fince my return, where a little contemptible varlet, without the leaft title to birth, perfon, wit, or common fenfe, fhall prefume to look with importance, and put himself upon a footing with the greatest persons of the kingdom.

I was every day furnishing the court with fome ridiculous ftory; and G!umdalclitch, although the loved me to excefs, yet was arch enough to inform the queen, whenever I committed any folly that fhe thought would be diverting to her majesty. The girl, who had been out of order, was carried by her governefs to take the air about an hour's distance, or thirty miles from town. They alighted out of the coach near a fmall foot-path in a field, and Glumdalclitch fetting down my travelling box, I went out of it to walk. There was a cow-dung in the path, and I must needs try my activity by attempting to leap over it. I took a run, but unfortunately jumped fhort, and found myself just in the middle up to my knees. I waded through

with fome difficulty, and one of the foot men wiped me as clean as he could with his handkerchief, for I was filthily bemired, and my nurse confined me to my box till we returned home: where the queen was foon informed of what had paffed, and the footmen fpread it about the court; so that all the mirth for fome days was at my expence.

C H A P. VI*.

Several contrivances of the author to please the king and queen. He fhews his fkill in mufic. The king enquires into the fate of England, which the author relates to him. The king's obfervations thereon.

I used to attend the king's levee once or twice a week, and had often feen him under the barber's hand, which indeed was at first very terrible to behold: for the razor was almost twice as long as an ordinary fcythe. His majesty, according to the custom of the country, was only fhaved twice a week. I once prevailed on the barber to give me fome of the fuds or lather, out of which I picked forty or fifty of the strongest ftumps of hair. I then took a piece of fine wood, and cut it like the back of a comb, making feveral holes in it at equal distance with as fmall a needle as I could get from Glumdalclitch. I fixed in the ftumps fo artificially, fcraping and floping them with my knife towards the point, that I made a very tolerable comb; which was a feasonable supply, my own being fo much broken in the teeth, that it was almoft ufelefs: neither did I know any artist in that country fo nice and exact, as would undertake to make me another.

And this puts me in mind of an amufement, wherein I fpent many of my leifure hours. I deiired the queen's woman to fave for me the combings of her majefty's hair, whereof in time I got a good quantity, and confulting with my friend the cabinet maker, who had received general orders to do little jobs for me, I directed

In this chapter he gives an account of the political state of Europe. ORRERY.

This is a mistake of the noble commentator, for Gulliver has here given a political account of no country but England: it is however a miftake to which any commentator would have

been liable, who had read little more than the

titles or contents of the chapters into which this work is divided; for the word Europe has in fome English, and all the Irish editions, been printed in the title of this chapter, inftead of England.

him to make two chair-frames, no larger than thofe I had in my box, and then to bore little holes with a fine awl round those parts where I defigned the back and feats; through thefe holes I wove the strongest hairs I could pick out, juft after the manner of cane-chairs in England. When they were finished, I made a prefent of them to her majefty, who kept them in her cabinet, and used to fhew them for curiofities, as indeed they were the wonder of every one that beheld them. The queen would have had me fit upon one of these chairs, but I abfolutely refused to obey her, protefting I would rather die a thoufand deaths than place a difhonourable part of my body on thofe precious hairs that once adorned her majesty's head. Of thefe hairs (as I had always a mechanical genius) I likewife made a neat little purfe about five feet long, with her majesty's name decyphered in gold letters, which I gave to Glumdalclitch by the queen's confent. To fay the truth, it was more for fhew than ufe, being not of strength to bear the weight of the larger coins, and therefore he kept nothing in it but fome little toys that girls are fond of.

The king, who delighted in mufic, had frequent concerts at court, to which I was fometimes carried, and fet in my box on a table to hear them: but the noife was fo

great, that I could hardly distinguish the

tunes. I am confident that all the drums

and trumpets of a royal army, beating and. founding together juft at your ears, could not equal it. My practice was to have my box removed from the place where the performers fat, as far as I could, then to

fhut the doors and windows of it, and draw the window-curtains; after which I found their mufic not difagreeable.

I had learnt in my youth to play a little her chamber, and a mafter attended twice upon the fpinet. Glumdalclitch kept one in a week to teach her: I called it a fpinet, because it fomewhat refembled that inftrument, and was played upon in the fame manner. A fancy came into my head, that I would entertain the king aud queen with an English tune upon this instrument. But this appeared extremely difficult: for the fpinet was near fixty feet long, each key being almost a foot wide, fo that with above five keys, and to prefs them down my arms extended I could not reach to required a good fmart ftroke with my fift, which would be too great a labour, and to no purpose. The method I contrived

was

was this: I prepared two round fticks about the bignefs of common cudgels; they were thicker at one end than the other, and I covered the thicker ends with a piece of a moufe's fkin, that, by rapping on them, I might neither damage the tops of the keys, nor interrupt the found. Before the fpinet a bench was placed about four feet below the keys, and I was put upon the bench. I ran fideling upon it that way and this, as faft as I could, banging the proper keys with my two flicks, and made a fhift to play a jig to the great fatisfaction of both their majetties: but it was the most violent exercife I ever underwent, and yet I could not strike above fixteen keys, nor confequently play the bafs and treble together, as other artists do, which was a great difadvantage to my performance.

The king, who, as I before observed, was a prince of excellent understanding, would frequently order that I fhould be brought in my box, and fet upon the table in his clofet; he would then command me to bring one of my chairs out of the box, and fit down within three yards diftance upon the top of the cabinet, which brought me almost to a level with his face. In this manner I had feveral converfations with him. I one day took the freedom to tell his majefty, that the contempt he difcovered towards Europe, and the reft of the world, did not feem anfwerable to thofe excellent qualities of mind that he was mafter of: that reafon did not extend itself with the bulk of the body; on the contrary, we observed in our country, that the talleft perfons were ufually leaft provided with it, that, among other animals, bees and ants had the reputation of more induftry, art, and fagacity, than many of the larger kinds; and that, as inconfiderable as he took me to be, I hoped I might live to do his majesty fome fignal fervice. The king heard me with attention, and began to conceive a much better opinion of me than he had ever before. He defired I would give him as exact an account of the government of England as I poffibly could; becaufe, as fond as princes commonly are of their own cuftoms (for fo he conjectured of other monarchs by my former difcourfes) he fhould be glad to hear of any thing that might deserve imitation.

Imagine with thyfelf, courteous reader, how often I then wished for the tongue of Demofthenes or Cicero, that might have enabled me to celebrate the praife of my

own dear native country in a style equal to its merits and felicity.

I began my difcourfe by informing his majefty, that our dominions confifted of two islands, which compofed three mighty kingdoms under one fovereign, befides our plantations in America. I dwelt long upon the fertility of our foil, and the temperature of our climate. I then spoke at large upon the conftitution of an English parliament, partly made up of an illuftrious body call d the houfe of peers, perfons of the nobleft blood, and of the most ancient and ample patrimonies. I defcribed that extraordinary care always taken of their education in arts and arms, to qualify them for being counfellors both to the king and kingdom; to have a fhare in the legiflature: to be members of the highest court of judicatore, from whence there could be no appeal; and to be champions always ready for the defence of their prince and country, by their valour, conduct, and fidelity. That these were the ornament and bulwark of the kingdom, worthy followers of their most renowned ancestors, whofe honour had been the reward of their virtue, from which their posterity were never once known to degenerate. To thefe were joined feveral holy perfons as part of that affembly under the title of bishops, whofe peculiar bufinefs it is to take care of religion, and of those who inftruct the people therein. These were fearched and fought out through the whole nation, by the prince and his wifeft counfellors, among fuch of the priesthood as were most defervedly diftinguished by the fanctity of their lives, and the depth of their erudition, who were indeed the fpiritual fathers of the clergy and the people.

That the other part of the parliament confifted of an affembly called the house of commons, who were all principal gentlemen, freely picked and culled out by the people themselves, for their great abilities and love of their country, to represent the wifdom of the whole nation. And that thefe two bodies made up the most auguft affembly in Europe, to whom, in conjunction with the prince, the whole legislature is committed.

I then defcended to the courts of justice, over which the judges, thofe venerable fages and interpreters of the law, prefided for determining the difputed rights and properties of men, as well as for the punifhment of vice, and protection of inno

cence.

cence. I mentioned the prudent manage ment of our treafury, the valour and atchievements of our forces by fea and land, I computed the number of our people, by reckoning how many millions there might be of each religious fect, or political party among us. I did not omit even our sports and pastimes, or any other particular, which I thought might redound to the honour of my country. And I finished all with a brief hiftorical account of affairs and events in England for about an hundred years paft.

This converfation was not ended under five audiences, each of feveral hours; and the king heard the whole with great attention, frequently taking notes of what I fpoke, as well as memorandums of what questions he intended to ask me.

When I had put an end to thefe long difcourfes, his majesty in a fixth audience, confulting his notes, propofed many doubts, queries, and objections upon every article. He afked what methods were used to cultivate the minds and bodies of our young nobility, and in what kind of business they commonly spent the first and teachable part of their lives. What courfe was taken to fupply that affembly, when any noble family became extinct. What qualifications were neceffary in those who are to be created new lords: whether the humour of the prince, a fum of money to a court lady or a prime minifter, or a defign of ftrengthening a party oppofite to the public intereft, ever happened to be motives in thofe advancements. What fhare of knowledge thafe lords had in the laws of their country, and how they came by it, fo as to enable them to decide the properties of their fellow-fubjects in the last refort. Whether they were all fo free from avarice, partialities, or want, that a bribe, or fome other finifter view, could have no place among them. Whether thefe holy lords I fpoke of were always promoted to that rank upon account of their knowledge in religious matters, and the fanctity of their lives; had never been compliers with the times while they were common priefts, or flavish prostitute chaplains to fome nobleman, whofe opinions they continued fervilely to follow after they were admitted into that affembly.

He then defired to know, what arts were practifed in electing those whom I called commoners: whether a tranger with a ftrong purfe might not influence the vulgar voters to chufe him before their own

landlord, or the most confiderable gentleman in the neighbourhood, How it came to pass, that people were fo violently bent upon getting into this assembly, which I allowed to be a great trouble and expence, often to the ruin of their families, without any falary or penfion: because this appeared fuch an exalted ftrain of virtue and public fpirit, that his majefty feemed to doubt it might poffibly not be always fincere: and he defired to know, whether fuch zealous gentlemen could have any views of refunding themselves for the charges and trouble they were at, by facrificing the public good to the defigns of a weak and vicious prince in conjunction with a corrupted ministry. He multiplied his questions, and fifted me thoroughly upon every part of this head, propofing numberlefs enquiries and objections, which I think it not prudent or convenient to repeat.

Upon what I faid in relation to our courts of justice, his majesty defired to be fatisfied in feveral points: and this I was the better able to do, having been for merly almoft ruined by a long fuit in chan cery, which was decreed for me with cofts. He afked what time was ufually spent in determining between right and wrong, and what degree of expence. Whether advocates and orators had liberty to plead in caufes manifeftly known to be unjust, vexatious, or oppreffive. Whether party in religion or politics were obferved to be of any weight in the fcale of juftice. Whe ther thole pleading orators were perfons educated in the general knowledge of equity, or only in provincial, national, and other local customs. Whether they or their judges had any part in penning thofe laws, which they affumed the liberty of interpreting and gloffing upon at their pleasure. Whether they had ever at different times pleaded for and against the fame cause, and cited precedents to prove contrary opinions. Whether they were a rich or a poor corporation. Whether they received any pecuniary reward for pleading or delivering their opinions. And particularly, whether they were ever admitted as members in the lower fenate.

He fell next upon the management of our treafury and faid, he thought my memory had failed me, because I computed our taxes at about five or fix millions a year, and when I came to mention the iffues, he found they fometimes amounted to more than double; for the notes he had

taken