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Jen. And taste too, madam. Nancy. And impudence, I'm sure! Mar. [Singing to MRS. STOCKWELL.] With a shape, and a face, and an air, and a grace!' Ha, ha—Just, just as our old gentleman told me. There you'll see madam Stockwell, says he, the agreeable still; take care of your heart, boy; she's a dangerous beauty, though her daughter may be by.

Mrs. Stock. O fie, fie, fie!

Mar. I but repeat my father's words, madam, confirmed by my own observation. Ah, boy, says he, I wish with all my heart, that my dear friend Mr. Stockwell was dead! I'd marry her

to-morrow.

Stock. I'm much obliged to him, faith! Mrs. Stock. And so am I, I am sure, sir. Mar. I but repeat my father's words, sir. Mrs. Stock. My esteem for your father, sir, is mutual, and I am heartily sorry we could not have the pleasure of his company.

Mar. Oh! madam, he was damned mad that he could not be at the wedding. He had flattered himself these two months with the hopes of dancing a minuet with Mrs. Stockwell.

Slip. Two months.-Whew!--and 'tis but six weeks he has known her! he'll knock us all up. If I don't interfere-[Aside.]—Sir, sir Harry begs you'll hasten the ceremonials, that he may have the pleasure of his daughter's company as soon as possible.

Stock. Well, well, every thing is signed and sealed; nothing remains, that I know of, but to finish the affair at once, and pay you my daughter's portion.

Mar. Pay you my daughter's portion !'that's all, sir; come along, sir, I wait on you to your closet-Slip, go with my civilities to the marquis of-[Aloud.] go this moment, you dog, and secure us horses, and let them be bridled and saddled, and ready at a minute's warning, [Softly.]-and don't forget my compliments to the marchioness. [Aloud. Slip. I fly, sir! ladies, your most obedient. [Exit SLIP. Mar. Come along, sir, to your closet. Stock. Stay, son, stay!-to return to the old gentleman.

Mar. Oh, sir, we'll return to him when the portion's paid.

Stock. No, no; first satisfy my curiosity about this unlucky law-suit of his. Mar. O lud! Slip not here now! [Aside. Stock. You seem disturbed, son-in-law, has any thing

Mar, Eh! pox o'this question. [Aside.] I have such a memory!-[Puts his hand to his forehead.] as much forgot to send Slip to the duke of-as if I had no manner of acquaintance with him. I'll call him back; Slip!

sir

Stock. He'll be back again presently-but,

Mar. He should have told me of this damned law-suit. [Aside.

Stock. Has it been brought to a hearing?

Mar. O, yes, sir, and the affair is quite over.
Stock. Ay, already!

Mar. The wrong box, I'm afraid! [Aside.
Stock. And I hope you have got your cause?
Mar. With costs of suit, I assure you, sir.
Stock. I am extremely glad of it.

Mrs. Stock. Thank heaven 'tis so well over! Mar. Oh, the family had the law-suit to much at heart, the lawyers should have had every farthing we were worth in the world, before we'd have been cast.

Stock. Um! that would have been carving it a little too far; but as it was, it cost him a pretty penny, ha?

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Mar. That it did, sir: but justice! Oh, ju tice, sir, is so fine a thing, we cannot pay to dear for it.

Stock. Very true; but exclusive of the expence, this has been a troublesome affair to my friend.

Mar. You can have no idea of it, sir-cspecially with such a tricking son of a whore, as he had to do with.

Stock. Son of a whore? He told me his an tagonist was a lady!

Mar. I thought I was in the wrong box. [dside.] A lady call you her? Yes, yes, a fine lady! but she had got an old pettifogging rascal for her attorney, and be it was he that was such a plague to our old gentleman.--But damn this cause, let us call another-I'm for nothing now but flames, darts, daggers, Cupids and Ve nusses, and madam Stockwell, and Miss Nancy[Bowing to them.

Mrs. Stock. The pink of complaisance! Nancy. The fellow's a fool, and I'll die before I'll have him. [Aside. Stock. Well said, son-in-law! a spirited fellow, faith! Come, we'll in and see things ready.

Mar. Shan't I wait upon you to your closet first, sir?

Stock. As soon as the ceremony's over, son. -Come, I'll shew you the way.

Mar. Eh! If I could but have touched before-hand, I'd have wav'd the ceremony. [Aside.]-Madam, [To MRS. STOCKWELL.] may hope for the honour!

[Offering to lead her out. Mrs. Stock. Oh, sweet sir?-Daughter, you'll have a pretty fellow for your husband. [Aside to NANCY.] [Exeunt.

Nancy. There's a lover for you, Jenny! Jenny. Not for me, madam, I assure you. What, snap at the old kite, when such a tender chick is before him!

Nancy. Not a civil word to his mistress, but quite gallant to her mother.

Jen. As much as to say a fig for you! I'm in love with your fortune.

Nancy. A fig for him; a conceited puppy! I'm in love with Belford; but how to get at him, Jenny..

Jen. Ah! poor bird! you're limed by the wing, and struggling will but make it worse.

Nancy. Not struggle! Ruin is better than, this coxcomb! Fr'ythee, advise me.

Jen. Don't tempt me.-I pity you so, that I could give you a sprightly piece of advice! and you are in so desperate a way, that I know you'd follow it.

Nancy. Follow it!——I'll follow any advice, Jenny.

Jen. O, yes, to follow your own inclinations;

that's a good young lady.Well, I am at present much given to mischief. -So, if you'll go into your chamber, lock the door, and let us lay our little heads together for half an hour, if we don't counterplot your wise papa, and his intended son-in-law-we deserve never to be married, or, if we are, to be governed by our husbands. [Exeunt.

ACT II.

SCENE I.-A hall in STOCKWELL'S house.

Enter BELFORD.

Bel. He shall take my life first.

Jen. You said that before! have you nothing else to say?

Bel. I say, that this Harlowe, my friend, was

Jen. And that's enough, if it is true; but I have a small addition to your news.

Bel. What's that?

Bel. I AM surprised, that Martin has not re-married last week in the country, that's all. turned to tell me his success with Jenny-He advised me not to stir from home, and said I might be assured every thing goes well, and I should hear from him-But still the impatience of my heart cannot bear this delay-I must be near the field of battle, let what will be the consequence; I hope I shall get a sight of Martin, and not unluckily light on the old gentleman: 'sdeath he's here -O, no, 'tis Jenny; my heart was in my mouth.

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Jen. And is this morning to marry madam. Bel. Not while I'm alive, I can tell him that. But, pr'ythee, who is this happy rival of mine?

· Jen. 'Tis one Mr. Harlowe. Bel. Harlowe ?

Jen. A gentleman of Dorsetshire.

Bel. I know all of that country, and can recollect no Harlowe, but the son of Sir Harry Harlowe, and he

Jen. Ay, and he is your rival.

Bel. If I had no more to fear from your mistress, than from my rival, as you call him.

Jen. Oh, you are very clever now, an't you? What would you be at now?

Bel. The truth only? the real, certain truth. Jen. Ay, what's that?

Bel. Why, that this Harlowe is the son of Sir Harry Harlowe of Dorsetshire, and my friend, my particular friend.

Jen. Yes, and so particular, that he will take your mistress from you.

Jen. That the aforesaid John Harlowe, Esq; your particular friend, and son to sir Harry Harlowe, of Dorsetshire, is now within, waiting for my young lady's hand; that's all.

Bel. Jenny, no jesting, you distract me!

Jen. 'Tis but too true; he's this minute gone in with my master and mistress to settle preliminaries.

Bel. Impossible! he's my intimate acquaintance, and wrote to me not a week ago, as I tell you. I have his letter at my lodgings.

Jen. And what says he there?

Bel. That's he's privately married to a lady of condition.

Jen. How can this be reconciled? Go fetch that letter, we have no time to lose. Bel. But what is Martin doing? Jen. Martin, who's he?

Bel. Martin, my servant, whom I sent to assist you.

Jen. Why, sure love has turned your brain, sir-I have seen no Martin, not I!

Bel. The rascal, then, is run away from me again. I have spoiled him by my indulgence. He left me for a month, and returned but yesterday; then I sent him hither to assist you, and now the scoundrel has left me again.

Jen. "Tis the luxury of the times, sir; though we are poor we have good tastes, and can be out of the way now and then, as well as our betters. Bel. How this villain has used me! But we must lose no time; I'll fetch the letter, and be back in an instant. [Exit.

Jen, Let me see-can't I strike some mischief out of this intelligence! I warrant meI can delay the marriage at least, Here's my master; Ill try my skill upon him. If I don't quite bring him about, I'll set his brains in such a ferment, they shan't settle in haste again.

Enter STOCK WELL.

the hearts of thirty families at ease all round the country.

Stock. Odd! a terrible man, I profess, I don't

Stock. I think I saw a glimpse of young Bel-wonder now that one wife can't serve him. ford, but now-what business has he here?

Jen. Business enough, sir; the best friend you have, that's all. He has been telling me a piece of news that will surprise you.

Stock. Let's hear this piece of news! Jen. O' my word, a bold man, this Mr. Harlowe, to take two wives at once, when most folk we see have enough of one!

Stock. Two wives! bless us, what do you

mean?

Jen. Why, the poor man's married already sir, that's all.

Stock. Married!

Jen. Married, I say, to a young lady in the country, and very near marrying another in town-a new fashion, I suppose.

Stock. Pooh, pooh! the thing's impossible, I tell you.

Jen. That may be, but so it is. He has writ to Belford, who is his friend.

Stock. All romance and invention !

Slip. Wife, sir! what wife, sir?

Stock. You see I know all, my friend; so you may as well confess.

Slip. Confess: what, sir?

Stock. I know all the conspiracy; and will take care that you, rascal, shall have your desert as an accomplice.

Slip. Accomplice!-Rascal; and a conspi-
-Let me die if I comprehend a word you.

racy!

say!

Stock. But I'll make you, villain!

Slip. O very well, sir-ha, ha, ha !—I protest you half frightened me-Very well, indeed!Ha, ha, ha!

Stock, Do you laugh at me, sirrah!

Slip. If I had not remembered to have heard my old master say, what a dry joker you were, I protest I should have been taken in. Very good, indeed, ha, ha, ha!

Stock. None of your buffoonery, sirrah; but confess the whole affair this minute, or be sent

Jen. All truth, I say; Belford is gone to fetch to Newgate the next. the letter, and be'll convince you.

Stock. I will never be convinced that

Jen. Why not, sir? the young fellows of this age are capable of any thing.

Stock. Very true, Jenny; they are abominable!

Jen. And, for aught we know, this Mr. Harlowe here may be one of those gentlemen, that make no scruple of a plurality of wives, provided they bring a plurality of portions. But by your leave, good sir, as this young lady, (she in the country, I mean) has the first and best title, we must look a little about us for the sake of our young lady in town.

Stock. Very true-'tis worth attending to. Jen. Attending to! if I were you, sir, before I delivered up my daughter, I should insist upon the affair's being cleared up to my satisfaction. Stock. You're in the right, Jenny; here's his man: I'll sound him about his master's marriage, and then-leave us together-Go-I'll make him speak, I warrant you!

Jen. If this marriage is but confirmed, I shall leap out of my skin. [Exit.

Enter SLIP.

Stock. Mr. Slip, come hither. My old friend Sir Harry has recommended you to me, and I like your physiognomy: you have an houest face: it pleases me much.

Slip. Your humble servant, sir. That's your goodness; but if I was no honester than my face, gad a mercy upon poor me!

Stock. Well, well-hark you me! this master of yours is a lad of spirit-a favourite of the ladies, I warrant him, ha ?

Slip. That he is, I can tell you, sir; a pretty fellow; no woman can resist him. I'll warrant, this marriage in your family, will set you

Slip. Newgate! sure, sir, that would be carrying the joke too far.

Stock. You won't confess, then?-Who waits there? Send for a constable this moment.

Slip. Nay, good sir, no noise, I beseech you. Though I am innocent as the child unborn, yet that severe tone of voice is apt to disconcert one. What was it your honour was pleased to bint about my master's being married? Who could possibly invent such a fib as that?

Stock. No fib, sirrah! he wrote it himself to a friend of his at London--to Belford..

Slip. Oh, oh! your humble servant, Mr. Belford! a fine fetch, i'faith! nay, I can't blame the man neither, ha, ha! Pray, sir, is not this same Mr. Belford in love with your daughter?.

Stock. Suppose he is, puppy! and what then?

Stock. Why then, Jenny is his friend, and at the bottom of all his fetches; I'll lay a wager that she is author of this whopper. Stock. Um!

Slip. Our arrival put them to their trumps→→→ and then-Slap, my poor master must be married; and Belford must shew a forged letter, forsooth, under his own hand, to prove it-and, and, and, you understand me, sir

Stock. Why, this has a face.

Slip. A face! ay, like a full moon; and while you're upon a false scent after this story, Jenny will gain time to work upon your daughter. I heard her say myself that she could lead you by

the nose.

Stock. Oh, she could, could she? Well, well, we'll see that.

Slip, By the by, sir, where did you meet with this Mrs. Jenny?

Stock. How should I know! I believe my wife hired her half a year ago out of the country.

She had a good character-and is very notable -but pert, very pert! Stip. Yes, yes, she is notable-Out of the country! and a good character! well said, Mrs. Jenny! [Half aside. Stock. What's the matter, Slip? You have something in your head, I'm sure.

Slip. No, nothing at all-but the luck of some people!-out of the country!

Stock. You must tell me. I shan't think you mean me well, if you conceal any thing from me. Slip. Why, among ourselves, sir-I knew Mrs. Jenny the last year very well-born and bred in Covent Garden. Some time ago bar-maid to a jelly-house, and two children, (very fine ones indeed) by little Tom the waiter. I knew, when I saw her here, that we should have some sport.

Stock. Ay, ay! I know enough; well said, Mrs. Jenny, indeed! But mind the cunning of this fellow, this Belford—he says he's the most intimate friend your master has!

Slip. Ay, sir? ha, ha, ha! and I dare say my master would not know him if he met himhowever, that's well observed, sir; um! nothing

escapes you.

Stock. Why, I am seldom out, seldom-
Slip. Never.

Stock. I don't say never; but here is your master. I must have a laugh with him about his marriage; ha, ha, ha!

Slip. Twill be rare sport for him, he, he, be!
Enter MARTIN.

Stock. So, son-in-law! Do you hear what the world say of you! I have had intelligence here, (ay, and certain intelligence too) that you are married, it seems-privately married, to a young lady of Dorsetshire. What say you, sir? Is not this fine? Ha, ha, ha!

Slip. Very merry, faith!

[Laughing, and making signs to MAR. Mar. Ha, ha, ha! 'tis such a joke! What, you have heard so? This Mr. World is a facetious gentleman!

Stock. Another man, now, would have given plumb into this foolish story, but I———No, no ; your humble servant for that.

Slip. No, plague! Mr. Stockwell has a long head! He[Pointing still. Mar. I would fain know who could be the author of such a ridiculous story?

Slip. Mr. Stockwell tells me, 'tis one Belford, I think he calls him; is not that his name, sir? Mar. Belford! Belford! I never heard of his name in my life.

Slip. As I said, sir; you see master knows nothing of this fellow. Stay, stay; is it not the youngest that you know whom I mean? that, that

Mar, Rot me, if I do!

Slip. He that you must know him-that is your rival here, as the report goes?

Mar. O ay! now I recollect, By the same token, they said he had but little, and owed much. That this match was to wipe off old

scores, and that his creditors had stopped proceedings till he's married.

Stock. Ay, ay! there let them stop. Ha, ha, ha! they'll be tired of stopping, I believe, if they are to stop till he has married my daughter, ha, ha, ha!

Slip. He's no fool, let me tell you, this Mr. Belford.

Stock. No; nor Mr. Stockwell neither; and to convince them of that, I will go this instant to my banker's, and—~

Mar. Sir, I'll wait on you.

Stock. Stay, son-in-law; I have a proposal to make-I own, I agreed with my old friend to give you 10,0001, down.

Mar. Ay, down was the word, sir-it was so -down.

Stock. Now, could you conveniently take some houses, that I have in the borough, instead of half that sum? They are worth a great deal more than that, I assure you.

Mar. O dear sir, your word is not to be disputed I'll take any thing-but, between friends, ready money is the truth. Down, you know, sir; that was the word, down.

Slip. Species, your honour knows, is of easier

conveyance.

Stock. Yes, sure, that's true; but

Mar. Ay, ay; one can't put houses in one's portmanteau, you know-he, he, he! Besides, there is a pretty estate to be sold in Dorsetshire, near my father's, and I have my eye upon that.

Slip. As pretty a conditional thing, as any in the country; and then so contagious, that a hedge only parts them.

Mar. I may have it for 90001., and I'm told 'tis worth ten at least.

Slip. The least penny, sir: the timber's worth half the money.

Stock. Well, well; look you, son, I have a round 10,000l. now in my banker's hands, which I thought to have made immediate advantage of. You shall have a moiety of it.

Mur. Sir, I am infinitely obliged to you. Are you going to your banker's now, sir?

Stock. I will but step and let my wife know of it; fetch the cash directly: and you shall marry my daughter in an hour.

Mar. Sir, suppose we invite Mr. Belford to the wedding? Ha, ha, ha !

ter is!

Slip. Ha, ha, ha! What a droll devil my masStock. Ha, ha, ha! [Exit STOCK. Mar. Wind and tide, my boy! My master has certainly had an interview with Miss Nancy Stockwell?

Slip. And as certainly knows Harlowe, too. Mar They correspond, you see?

Slip. But, thanks to my wit, I have so set the old man against Belford, that I am in hopes we shall pack up madam's fortune in the portmanteau, before he's set to rights again; and[MAR. going, stops. Mar. Zounds! my master! Slip. Where?

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Bel. Nay, what are you doing here, and what have you done here? What clothes are these? What's your scheme? And why have I not known it?

Mar. Not so fast and so loud, good master of mine-walls have ears. These are your rival's clothes, who is to follow them in a few days: but his servant, there, is an old friend of mine, and so, as they fit me so well-he's-I pass upon family for the young fellow himself.

the

Bel. Well, and where's the joke of that? Mar. A very good joke, I think. I'll undertake to put these two old fools (your papa and mamma that shall be) so out of conceit with their son-in-law, that-why, already I have heard the old folks agreeing, that you were much the properer match for their daughter; so that I expect every moment they'll send for you to deliver them from me: and nothing can prevent our success, but your being

Bel. Ha, ha, ha! a very good stratagem: but there is no need of it now; for this rival, as you call him, is my particular friend, and married to another woman: so I tell you we have nothing to fear.

Mar. But I tell you, you will knock us all to pieces. The finest plot that ever was laid, and you'll spoil it in the hatching.

Bel. But what occasion is there? He can't marry them both.

1

Mar. Speak lower! You think yourself mighty wise now? but here's Harlowe's servant, whom I have tickled in the palm, will tell you another

story.

Bel. Why, here's a letter under his own hand. Read it.

Mar. [Reading.-Um, um! Some days privately married-Slip[Aside to SLIP. Slip. This is easily cleared up, sir! There was such a thing proposed by my young master; but you must understand, sir, that Mr. Harlowe, not approving of the terms, has tipped the young woman's father a good round sum, and so the affair is made up.

Bel. Can it be possible that he is not married! Slip. I'll take my oath of it before any magistrate in England.

Mar. Pooh.! married!

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Mar. And come not near this house to-day. If you do, I must decamp.

Bel. Well; but my dear lads, take care! I depend on you.

Slip. That's all you have to do do; put your fortune into our hands.

Mar. And I'll warrant we give a good account of it.

Bel. Think how my happiness

Mar. Pr'ythee, no more.

Bel. Depends on you.

Mar. Begone, I say, or I'll throw up the cards! [Exit BEL.

Slip. At last he's gone!
Mar. And we have time to take a little

breath; for this was a hot alarm, faith!

Jenny, would have surprised us together.
Slip. I was only afraid the old gentleman, or

Mar. That would have been a clincher! but now I must after the old gentleman for the money. [Exit. Slip. And I'll be upon the watch, for fear of mischief. [Exit.

SCENE II.-An apartment in STOCKWELL'S

house.

Enter STOCKWELL and JENNY.

Jen. Still I say, sir

Stock. And still I say, madamJen. That Mr. Belford's a very honest gentleman, and you ought to search it.

Stock. I tell you, I have searched, and probed it to the quick-and that he shall feel. I know well enough, you are in his interest, and have your interest in so doing; and I am sorry you could find no prettier plot than this to defer the wedding.

Jen. Lud, sir, do you believe

Stock. No; but I'm sure on't, that's better.. Jen. Lud! you'd make one mad.

Stock. And you'd make me a fool, if you could. No, no, I'm an ass, a poor simpleton, that may be led by the nose! but you may tell my daughter, that she shall marry Harlowe this night. And you may tell your friend, Belford, to let his creditors know that they need not stop proceedings. And you, madam, may return to your jelly-shop, and give my compliments to little Tom, and all the little family, ha, ha, ha !.

[Exit STOCK.

Jen. What does he mean by the jelly-houselittle Tom and all the little family? There's something at the bottom of this, I cannot yet fathom: but I will fathom it. I was never out of a secret yet, that I had a mind to find out

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