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Col. Lamb. O ho! here's the business then; Lady Lamb. Your charity is too far concerned and it seems Darnley was not to be trusted with it; ha, ha! and pr’ythee, what is the mighty Dr Cant. Ah ! don't say so, don't say so. secret that is transacting between Seyward and You merit more than mortal man can do for you. you?
Lady Lamb. Indeed you over-rate me. Charl. That's what he would have known, in Dr Cant. I speak it from my heart; indeed, deed; but you must know, I don't think it pro indeed, indeed I do. per to let you tell bim neither, for all your sly Lady Lamb. O dear! you hurt my hand, sir. manner of asking
Dr Cant. Impute it to my zeal, and want of Col. Lamb. Pray take your own time, dear ma words for expression : precious soul! I would dam; I am not in baste to know, I assure you. not harm you for the world; no, it would be the
Charl. Well, but hold; on second thoughts, whole business of my lifeyou shall know part of this affair between Sey Lady Lamb. But to the affair I would speak ward and me; nay, I give you leave to tell Darn
to you about. ley too, on some conditions : 'tis true, I did de Dr Cant. Ah, thou heavenly woman! sign to have surprised you
Lady Lamb. Your hand need not be there, sir. mind's altered, that's enough.
Dr Cant. I was admiring the softness of this Col. Lamb. Ay, for any mortal's satisfaction-silk. but bere comes my lady.
Lady Lamb. Ay, but I'm ticklish.
Dr Cunt. They are indeed come to prodiEnter Lady LAMBERT.
gious perfection in all manufactures : how wonLady Lamb. Away, away, colonel and Char- derful is human art! here it disputes the prize lotte; both of you, away this instant.
with nature: that all this soft and gaudy lustre Charl. What's the matter, madam?
should be wrought from the labours of a poor Lady Lamb. I am going to put the doctor to worm! his trial, that's all. I have considered the pro Lady Lamb. But our business, sir, is upon posals you have made me to-day, colonel, and am another subject: Sir John informs me, that he convinced it ought not to be delayed an instant : thinks himself under no obligations to Mr Darnso just now, as your father was composed in the ley, and therefore resolves to give his daughter arm chair to his afternoon's nap, I told the doc- to you. tor in a half whisper, that I should be glad to Dr Cant. Such a thing has been mentioned, have a word in private with him here; and he madam; but, to deal sincerely with you, that is said he would wait upon me presently. You not the happiness I sigh after; there is a soft must know, Charlotte, Sir John has been pres- and serious excellence for me, very different sing me to speak to you in his favour, and has from what your step-daughter possesses. desired me to hear what the doctor had to say Lady Lumb. Well, sir, pray be sincere, and upon that subject ; but must I play a traiterous open your heart to me. part now, and, instead of persuading you to the Dr. Cant. Open my heart ! Can you then, doctor, persuade the doctor against you? sweet lady, be yet a stranger to it? Has no
Charl. Dear madam, why not? one moment's action of my life been able to inform you of truce with the prude, I beg of you; don't startle my real thoughts? I hope you imagine not at his first declaration, but let him go on till he that it was from ill-will, or any other account shews the very bottom of his ugly heart. but yours, that I urged Sir John to restrain your
Lady Lamb. I warrant you, i'll give a good asseinblies and visits : no, blessed creature, it account of him—-but, as I live, here he comes
. proceeded from a zealous transport : I could not Charl. Come, then, brother, you and I will be bear to see the gay, the young, and the imperticomode, and steal off.
nent, daily crowding round you, without a cer(Exeunt CHARLOTTE and Colonel. tain grudge; I might say, enyy. Enter Doctor CANTWELL, Lady Lamb. Well, sir, I take all this, as I
suppose you intend it, for my good and spiritual [The Colonel listening. welfare. Dr Cant. Here I am, madam, at your lady Dr Cant. Indeed I mean your cordial service, ship’s command; how happy am I that you
think Lady Lamb. I dare say you do: you are above
the low momentary views of this world. Lady Lamb. Please to sit, sir.
Dr Cant. Why, I should be so; and yet, alas ! Dr Cant. Well, but, dear lady, ha! You can't I find this mortal clothing of my soul is made conceive the joyousness I feel at this so much de- like other men's, of sensual flesh and blood, and
Ah, ah ! I have a thousand has its frailties.
to say to you ; and how stands Ludy Lamb. We all have those, but yours are your precious health is your naughty cold aba- well corrected by your divine and virtuous conted yet? I have scarce closed my eyes these two templations. nights with my concern for you ; and every Dr Cant. Alas, madam, my heart is not of watchful interval has sent a thousand
sighs and stone: I may resist, call all my prayers, my fastprayers to Heaven for your recovery.
ings, tears and penance to my aid ; but yet, I am
sired interview. friendly things
not an angel; I am still but a man; and virtue | hereabouts ; and while I was talking to my lady, may strive, but nature will be uppermost.- rushed in upon us-you know the subject, sir, love you, then, madam.
on which I was to entertain her; and I might Lady Lamb. Hold, sir. You've said enough speak of my love for your daughter with more to put you in my power. Suppose I now should warmth than, perhaps, I ought; which the cololet my husband, your benefactor, know the favour nel over-hearing, he might possibly imagine I you design him?
was addressing my lady herself; for I will not Dr Cant. You canot be so cruel.
suspect, no, Heaven forbid ! I will not suspect Lady Lamb. Nor will, on this condition: that that he would intentionally forge a falsehood to instantly you renounce all claim and title to dishonour me. Charlotte, and use your utmost interest with Sir Sir J. Lamb. Now, vile detractor of all virtue, John, to give her, with her full fortune, to Mr is your outrageous malice confounded ?-What Darnley.
he tells you is true; he was talking to my lady
by my consent ; and what he said, he said by my Enter Colonel LAMBERT.
orders.Good man, be not concerned, for I Col. Lamb. Villain, monster, perfidious and see through their vile design. Here, thou curse ungrateful traitor ! Your hypocrisy, your false of my life, if thou art not lost to conscience, and zeal is discovered : and I am sent here by the all sense of honour, repair the injury you have hand of insulted Heaven, to lay you open to my attempted, by confessing your rancour, and throwfather, and expose you to the world.
ing yourself at his feet. Dr Cant. Ha !
Dr Cant. Oh, Sir John ! for my sake I Lady Lamb. O, unthinking colonel !
will throw myself at the colonel's feet; nay, if Col. Lamb. Well
, sir, what have you to say for that will please him, he shall tread on my neck. yourself?
Sir J. Lumb. What ! mute, defenceless, hardenDr Cant. I have nothing to say to you, co ed in thy malice ? Ionel, nor for you—but you shall have my Col. Lamb. I scorn the imputation, sir; and prayers.
with the same repeated honesty avow, however Col. Lamb. Why, you profligate hypocrite, do cunningly he may have devised this gloss, that you think to carry off your villainy with that you are deceived. -What I tell you, sir, is sanctified air?
true-these eyes, these ears, were witgesses of Dr Cant. I know not what you mean, sir. I his audacious love, without the mention of my have been in discourse here with my good lady, sister's name; directly, plainly, grossly tending by permission of your worthy father.
to abuse the honour of your bed. Col. Lamb. Dog, did my father desire you to Sir J. Lamb. Villain, this instant leave my talk of love to my lady?
sight, my house, my family, for ever! Wife, Dr Cunt. Call me not dog, colonel : I hope children, servants, are all leagued against this we are both brother christians. Yes, I will pious man, and think to weary me by groundless own I did beg leave to talk to her of love ; for, clamours to discard him; but all shall not do. alas, I am but a man; yet if my passion for your Your malice falls on your own wicked heads; to dear sister, which I cannot controul, he sinful me it but the more endears him.
Ludy Lamb. Your noise, I perceive, is bring Col. Lamb. Doctor, you have triumphed. ing up Sir John; manage with hiin as you will Sir J. Lamb. Wretch, leave my house. at present; I will withdraw, for I have an after Dr Cant. Hold, good Sir John: I am now game to play, which may yet put this wretch ef- recovered from my surprise ; let me then be an fectually into our power.
(Erit. humble mediator on my account, this must
not be---) grant it possible, your son loves me Enter Sir. JOHN LAMBERT.
not; but you must grant it too as possible, he Sir J. Lamb. What uproar is this?
might mistake me; to accuse me then, was but Col. Lamb. Nothing, sir, nothing; only a little the error of his virtue ; you ought to love him, broil of the good doctor's here—You are well thank him for his watchful care. rewarded for your kindness; and he would fain Sir J. Lamb. O miracle of charity ! pay it back with triple interest to your wife: in Dr Cant. Come, come ; such breaches must short, sir, I took him here in the very fact of not be betwixt so good a son and father; forget, making a criminal declaration of love to my lady. I forgive, embrace him, cherish him, and let me
Dr Cant. Why, why, Sir John, would you bless the hour I was the occasion of so sweet a not let me leave your house? I knew some dread. / reconcilement. ful method would be taken to drive me hence Sir J. Lamb. Hear this, perverse and repro O, be not angry, good colonel : but indeed, and bate!-Oh, couldst thou wrong such more than indeed, you use me cruelly.
mortal virtue! Sir J. Lumb. Horrible, wicked creature ! - Col. Lamb. Wrong him ! the hardened impuDoctor, let me hear it from you.
dence of this painted charity-DrCant. Alas, sir, I am in the dark as much. Sir J. Lumb. Peace, graceless infidel ! as you ; but it should seem, for what purpose he Col. Lamb. No, sir; though I would hazard best knows, your son hid himself somewhere life to gain you from the clutches of that wretch,
could die to reconcile my duty to your favour ; Dr Cant. And do you think I take your estate yet, on the terms his villainy offers, it is merit with such views ?-No, sir-I receive it that I to refuse it—-glory in the disgrace your er may have an opportunity to rouse his mind to rors give me -but, sir, I'll trouble you no virtue, by shewing him an instance of the formore; to-day is his, to-morrow may be mine. giveness of injuries ;-the return of good for
[Exit. | evil. Sir J. Lumb. Come, my friend; we'll go this Sir J. Lamb. O, my dear friend, my stay, and instant, and sign the settlement.
my guide! I am impatient till the affair is conDr Cant. Sir, I now attend you, and take cluded. it without scruple : yes, you shall, since it is Dr Cant. The will of Heaven be done in all your good pleasure, make this settlement in my things. favour.
Sir J. Lamb. Poor dear man !-[Turning to Sir J. Lamb. I will, doctor, I will; for that where the Colonel went off.]--Oh, reprobate, wretch ought to be punished, who, I now see, is profligate, hardened wretch, to use in this manincorrigible, and given over to perdition. ner a person of his sanctity! (Exeunt.
did any man since I was born : I'll be sincere SCENE I.-A Parlour in Sir Joun LAMBERT'S with you. House.
Seyw. Is it then possible you can have loved
another, to whom you never were sincere ? Enter CHARLOTTE and SEYWARD.
Charl. Alas, you are but a novice in the pasCharl. You were a witness, then ?
sion.-Sincerity is a dangerous virtue, and often Seyce. I saw it signed, sealed, and delivered, surfeits what it ought to nourish. Therefore I madam.
take more pains to make the man I love believe Charl. And all passed without the least sus I slight him, than, if possible, I would to convince picion ?
you of my esteem and friendship.-Nay, I'll Seyu. Sir John signed it with such earnestness, do more still; l'il shew you all the good nature and the doctor received it with such a seeming you can desire; you shall make what love to me reluctance, that neither had the curiosity to ex you please; but then I'll tell
you the consequence: amine a line of it.
I shall certainly be pleased with it, and that will Charl. Well, Mr Seyward, whether it succeeds fatter you till I do you a mischief. Now do you to our ends or not, we have still the same obli- think me sincere ? gations to you.—You saw with what a friend Seyw. I scarce consider that: but I'm sure ly warmth my brother heard your story; and I you are agreeable. don't in the least doubt his being able to do some Charl. Why, look you there, now ; do you thing for you.
consider, that a woman had as lief be thought Seyw. What I have done, my duty bound me agreeable as handsome; and how can you supto; but pray, madam, give me leave, without of pose, from one of your sense, that I am not pleafence, to ask you one innocent question. sed with being told Charl. Freely.
Seyw. Was ever temper so enchanting !-Your Seyw. Have you never suspected, that in all good opinion is all I aim at. this affair, I have had some secret stronger mo Charl. Ay, but the more I give it you, the tive than barely duty ?
better you'll think of me still; and then I must Charl. Yes. But have you been in no ap think the better of you again ; and then you the prehensions I should discover that motive? better of me, upon that too; and so at last I
Seyw. Pray, pardon me; I see already I have shall think seriously, and you'll begin to think ill gone too far.
of me. But I hope, Mr Seyward, your good sense Charl. Not at all; it loses you no merit with will prevent all this. me, nor is it in my nature to use any one ill that Seyw. I see my folly, madam, and blush at my loves me, unless I loved that one again : then, presumption. Madam, I humbly take my leave. indeed, there might be danger. Come, don't
[Exit. look grave; my inclinations to another shall not Churl. Well, he's a pretty young fellow after hinder me paying every one what's due to their all, and the very first, sure, that ever heard reason merit : I shall, therefore, always think myself against himself with so good an understanding. obliged to treat your misfortunes and your mo- Lord, how one may live and learn !-I could not desty with the utmost tenderness.
have believed that modesty in a young fellow Seyu. Dear madam, mad as I am, I never could have been so amiable. And though I own
there is, I know not what of dear delight in inCharl, Then, I'll give you a great deal more; dulging one's vanity with them, yet upon serious and to shew you my particular
good opinion of reflection, we must confess, that truth and sinceyou, I'll do you a favour, Me Seyward, I never rity have a thousand charins beyond it. I be
hoped for more.
lieve I had as good confess all this to Darnley, Charl. I would die rather than consent to it. and e'en make up the bustle with him too : but Dr Cant. In other words, you hate me. then he will so tease one for instances of real in Charl. Most transcendantly! clination-gad !-I cann't bear the thought Dr Cant. Well, there is sincerity, at least, on't: and yet we must come together too_Well, in your confession : you are not, I see, totally Nature knows the way, to be sure, and so I'll deprived of all virtue; though, I must say, I e'en trust to her for it.
never could perceive in you but very
Charl. Oh, fie! you fatter me!
Dr Cant. No; I speak it with sorrow, because Lady La-rb. Dear Charlotte, what will become you are the daughter of my best friend. But of us ! – The tyranny of this subtle hypocrite is how are we to proceed now? are we to preserve insupportable. He has so fortified himself in temper ? Sir John's opinion, by this last misconduct of Charl. Oh! never fear me, sir; I shall not your brother, that I begin to lose my usual power fly out, being convinced that nothing gives so with him.
sharp a point to one's aversion as good breeding; Charl. Pray, explain, madam.
as, on the contrary, ill manners often hide a seLady Lamb. In spite of all I could urge, he cret inclination. has consented that the doctor shall this minute Dr Cant. Well then, young lady, be assured, come, and be his own advocate with you. so far am I from the unchristian disposition of
Charl. I'm glad on't; for the beast must come returning injuries, that your antipathy to me like a bear to the stake. I'm sure he knows I causes no hatred in my soul towards ,you; on shall bait him.
the contrary, I would willingly make you happy, Lady Lamb. No matter for that; he presses if it may be done according to my conscience, it, to keep Sir John still blind to bis wicked de- with the interest of Heaven in view. signs upon me. - Therefore I am come to give Charl. Why, I cann't see, sir, how Heaven you notice, that you might be prepared to receive can be any way concerned in a transaction behim.
tween you and me. Charl. I'm obliged to your ladyship. Our Dr Cant. When you marry any other person, meeting will be a tender scene, no doubt on't. my consent is necessary.
Lady Lami. But I think I hear the doctor Charl. So I hear, indeed ! -but pray, docçoming up stairs. My dear girl, at any rate keep tor, how could your modesty receive so insolent your temper. I shall expect you in my dressing a power, without putting my poor father out of room, to tell me the particulars of your conduct. countenance with your blushes?
(Erit. Dr Cunt. I sought it not ; but he would crowd Charl. He must have a great deal of impudence, it in among other obligations. He is good-nato come in this manner to me.
tured ; and I foresaw it might serve to pious pur
poses. Enter Doctor CANTWELL, and Betty intro Charl. I don't understand you. ducing him.
Dr Cant. I take it for granted that you would Betty. Doctor Cantwell desires to be admit- marry Mr Darnley. Am I right? ted, madam.
Charl. Once in your life perhaps you may. Chart. Let him come in.Your servant, Dr Cant. Nay, let us be plain. Would you sir.-Give us chairs, Betty, and leave the room.(Exit Betty.)—Sir, there's a seat. What Charl. You're mighty nice, methinks.- Well, can the ugly cur say to me!-he seems a little I would. puzzled.
(Humming a tune. Dr Cant. Then I will not consent. Dr Cant. Look ye, young lady, I am afraid, Charl, You won't ? notwithstanding your good father's favour, I am Dr Cant. My conscience will not suffer me. not the man you would desire to be alone with I know you to be both luxurious and worldlyupon this occasion.
minded; and you would squander upon the vaCharl. Your modesty is pleased to be in the nities of the world those treasures which ought right.
to be better laid out. Dr Cant. I'm afraid'too, notwithstanding all Charl. Hum !-I believe I begin to conceive my endeavours to the contrary, that you enter you. • tain a pretty bad opinion of ine.
Dr Cant. If you can think of any project to Charl. A worse, sir, of no mortal breathing ! satisfy my conscience, I am tractable. You know Dr Cant. Which opinion is immovable. there is a considerable moiety of your fortune Charl. No rock so firm !
which goes to my lady in case of our disagreeDr Cant. I am afraid, then, it will be a vain ment. pursuit, when I solicit you, in compliance with my Charl. That's enough, sir.--You think we worthy friend's desire, and my own inclinations, should have a fellow-feeling in it. At what sum to become my partner in that blessed estate, in do you rate your concurrence to my inclinawhich we may be a comfort and support to each tions ? that settled, I am willing to strike the other,
Dr Cant. What do you think of half? excuse him. I told him how anxious you were Charl. How ! two thousand pounds!
about Seyward's affair, and he has taken him Dr Cant. Wby, you know you gain two thou with him, in his own coach, to the Attorney-Gesand pounds; and really the severity of the times neral's. for the poor, and my own stinted pittance, which Charl. Well, I own he has gained upon me by cramps my charities, will not suffer me to require this. less.
Cola Lamb. I am glad to hear that at last. But Charl. But how is my father to be brought in- I must go and let my lady know what progress to this?
we have made in the doctor's business; because Dr Cant. Leave that to my management. I have something particular to say to her. Charl. And what security do you expect for
[Exit. the money?
Charl. Desire him to walk in. (Exit Serv. Charl. Pretty good security ! -on one proviso though.
Enter DARNLEY. Dr Cant. Name it.
Darn. To find you thus alone, madam, is an Churl. That you immediately tell my father happiness I did not expect, from the temper of that you are willing to give up your interest to our last parting. Mr Darnley.
Charl. I should have been as well pleased now Dr Cant. Hum !-stay-I agree to it; but to have been thanked, as reproached, for my in the mean time, let me warn you, child, not to good-nature; but you will be in the right, I find. expect to turn that, or what has now passed be Darn. Indeed, you take me wrong. I literaltween us, to my confusion, by sinister construc- ly meant that I was afraid you would not so soon tion, or evil representation to your father., I am think I had deserved this favour. satisfied of the piety of my own intentions, and Charl. Well then, one of us has been in the care not what the wicked think of them; but
wrong, at least. force me not to take advantage of Sir John's Durn. 'Twas I, I own it-more is not in my good opinion of me, in order to shield myself power: all the amends possible I have made you: from the consequences of your malice.
my very joy of seeing you has waited, till what Charl. Oh! I shall not stand in my own light: you had at heart, unasked, was perfected for a I know your conscience and your power too well, rival, whom you had so justly compassionated. dear doctor!
Charl. Pooh! but why would you say unasked Dr Cunt. Well, let your interest sway you. now? don't you consider your doing it so is half Thank Heaven, I am actuated by more worthy the merit of the action ?-Lord ! you have no motives.
art: you should have left me to have taken noChurl. No doubt on't.
tice of that.—Only imagine now, how kind and Dr Cant. Farewell, and think me your friend. handsome an acknowledgment you have robbed
(Exit. me of.
Darn. And yet how artfully you have paid it. Enter Colonel LAMBERT.
With what a wanton charming ease you play upon Charl. What this fellow's original was, I know my tenderness ! not; but by his conscience and cunning he would Charl, Well, but were not you silly now? make an admirable Jesuit.
Durn. Come, you shall not be serious : you Col. Lumb. Charlotte !
cann't be more agreeable. Charl. You may come in. Well, I hope you
Charl. Oh! but I am serious. bring me a good account of the doctor.--What Darn. Then I'll be so. —Do you forgive me success?
all? Col. Lamb. All I could wish !-Seyward has Charl. What? given so strong and so fair a detail of his frauds Darn. Are we friends, Charlotte ? and villanies of every kind, that my Lord Chief Charl. O, Lord ! but you have told me nothing Justice made not the least hesitation to grant his
of poor Scyward ? warrant; and I have a tipstaff at the next door, Darn. Must you needs know that before you when I give the word to take him.
answer me? Churl. Why should you not do it immediately? Charl. Lord! you are never well till you have
Col. Lamb. Have a little patience; I have a talked one out of countenance. farther design in my head. But pray, sis
Durn. Come, I won't be too particular; you ter, what secret's this that you have yet behind, shall answer nothing. —Give me but your hand in those writings that Seyward brought you ? only.
Charl, Oh ! that's what I cann't tell you. Charl. Psha! I won't pull off my glove, not 1. But, by the way, what have you done with Darn Darn. I'll take it as it is then. ley; why is not he here?
Charl. Lord! there, there; eat it, cat it. Col. Lamb. He has been here : but you must
Darn. And so I could, by Heaven!