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For the girl your sister.
Harry Courl. Louisa ! she
Mr. Courl. Fool, what care I? I did not pre-engage
Harry Courl. Indeed, sir, you have not. Mr. Courl. No, lubbard, no? Hear me ; for I can still restrain my rage! When honourable Mr. Scholium greets you Receive him as if he already were Affianc'd to the girl-Dare not to smileAnd for the general too I'll use device, And slip his neck into the marriage-yoke. Harry Courl. (ironically) How !-(seems to consi
der) Yes, now I've a glimpse of what you mean: You'll make Louisa wed them both, and thusNo, I am wrong
-your scheme's a wise one, sir: You mean that I shall be the general's spouse.
Mr. Courl. No, puppy ; but the sister of that oaf The peasant Robert.
Harry Courl. (alarmed) She? why, sir, she too Is pre-engag'd!
Mr. Courl. Silence, know heretofore I've wink'd at your attentions to the girl.
Harry Courl. Then why, sir, now prohibit them!
Mr. Courl. Why sir ? Because I thought love would like fire in time Extract the burn 't had givenI was wrong, Compulsion is the sole expedient left me: You must, you shall forget the low-born wench. Harry Courl. Would I not if low birth excluded
worth? But, sir, the very gold you prize so much May be found purer in its earthy beal
Than in a great man's purse- I'd not condemn
Mr. Courl. Jesting, sirrah, ha !
rich And inexhaustible.
Mr. Courl. (with surprise) Hey, what, how, Harry ? Harry Couri. And yet she has drawn copiously from
it To make so vain a purchase.
Mr. Courl. You amaze me ! What purchase, what ?
Harry Courl. (bowing) Your very humble servant. Mr. Courl. But how, my boy, how was the payment
made ? How issued ?
Harry Courl. In the fond effusions, sir, Of an o'erflowing soul (Mr. Courland stamps with
rage) Pshaw, never mind : My heart is past all ransom- it is sold
Mr. Couri. Yes, to the devil, in his usual shape!
Enter a servant.
Serv. The honourable Mr. Scholium.
Mr. Courl. The honourable Mr. Scholium ! D-mnable luck—that he should come at this time, Find me perturb’d--so choleric, so pale! (to the servant) Request, do you hear, his honour to
sexit servant For the present we will drop the subject, boy : Look at me, do I seem to have the ague? Harry Courl. The ague, my dear sir! you are as
red As a fresh burning bush : passion becomes you. Mr. Courl. Then as to health I'll meet with a good
face This son of wealth and plenty, Mr. Scholium ; He is, no doubt, a paragon of high life Cloth'd in the finest broad cloth Hark, he comes ! And I am so abash'd I feel constrain'd To avert my eyes from his superior presence.
Mr. Courland (turning away his face, and awkwardly seizing the hand of the servant, whom he mistakes for Scholium) My far renown'd and condescending guest, I am your humble and obedient slave. (fearfully looking round, and discovering his mistake) Fool, scoundrel, where left you the gentleman ?
Serv. Hobbling up stairs, your honour.
a clog to motion.
Mr. Courl. (seizing his hand without venturing to observe his person) Honourable sir,
Inference. Wherefore, to merit still your good opi
-Shall I employ
Moonshine. Sir, plain English:
Inference. My subject's deep.
Moonshine. And yet your language flighty : Be brief.
Inference. I will now for my negatives: You are not yet as mad as a march-hare, You are not yet as blind as a black beetle, You are not yetMoonshine. (putting his hand to Inference's mouth.)
Stop, man, I say : 'tis late; And we have yet to feign a specious plea For our apparel and lank visages. Inference. 'Tis true we once were in much better
garb I mean when habited in borrowed suits, We with their aid and well-assured fronts Procur'd our letters to this Mr. Courland. Moonshine. These letters say we are the sons of
wealth. Inference. Hence the corollary we've to lament, That our scant semblance cannot but belie them.
Enter HARRY COURLAND unperceived. Moonshine. (approaching a post) No matter-I've a
remedy : you here Observe the body of a post. Inference. (pretending to mistake Moonshine for the
post) Oh yes,
And the head too : (laying his hand on Moonshine's
head) 'tis old and tottering. Moonshine. (seizing Inference's hand, and violently
placing it on the post.) Blind man, you are wrong! this is the post--this,
this. Inference. Oh granted a self-evident position. Moonshine. Well, you observe this cord. (taking one
from his pocket.) Inference. I do, and yet (ironically) I have my fears it will not bear your weight. Moonshine. Sir! this insinuation—but, no mat
terThe cord, which must be quite two yards in length
Inference. A mere hypothesis, and to be prov'd Experimentally with rule or yard-stick. Moonshine. (avithout attending to the interruption)
The cord we'll wind three times or more around Our three bodies.
Inference. How? This must be demonstrated.
Inference. You must mean
Moonshine. Why yes and then vociferate for aid
Inference. Wherefore ?
Moonshine. To seem the feigned personages
Inference. I a gentleman
Moonshine. Sir, will you listen ? That after having valiantly repellid A host
Inference. Of moths and bloody-minded gnats, Musquetoes callid, we made a brave retreat With not e'en thread-bare raiment to our bones,