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tion to say so, sir. They were good in the morn Step. I am glad nobody was hurt by his aning; I made them extempore this morning. cient humour.
[Erit. Well. How extempore?
Kite. Why, how now, brother, who enforced Mat. I would I might be hanged else; ask this brawl? Captain Bobadil. He saw me write them at the Dow. A sort of lewd rake-hells, that care nei(pox on it) the Star yonder.
ther for God nor the devil. And they must come Step. Cousin, how do you like this gentleman's here to read ballads, and roguery, and trash! I'll verses?
mar the knot of them ere I sleep, perhaps ; espeE. Kno. O, admirable! the best that ever I cially Bob there: he that is all manner of shapes ; heard, coz!
and songs and sonnets, his fellow. But I'll folStep. Body of Cæsar! they are admirable ! low them.
[Exit. The best that ever I heard, as I am a soldier ! Bridg. Brother, indeed, you are too violent,
Don. I am vext! I can hold ne'er a bone of Too sudden in your humour. me still ! Heart, I think they mean to build and There was one a civil gentleman, breed here.
And very worthily demeaned himself. Well. Sister Kitely, I marvel you get you not Kite. O, that was some love of yours, sister. a servant, that can rhime, and do tricks too. Bridg. A love of mine! I would it were no
Dow. Oh, monster ! Impudence itself ! tricks! worse, brother! You'd pay my portion sooner Come, you might practise your ruffian tricks than you think for.
[Erit. somewhere else, and not here, I wuss. This is Dame. Indeed, he seemed to be a gentleman no tavern, nor drinking-school, to vent your ex of exceeding fair disposition, and of very excelploits in.
lent good parts.
What a coil and stir is here ! Well. How now! whose cow has calved?
[Erit. Dow. Marry, that has mine, sir. Nay, boy, Kite. Her love, by Heaven! my wife's minion! never look askance at me for the matter; I will Death, these phrases are intolerable ! tell you of it: aye, sir, you and your companions; Well, well
, well, well, well, well ! mend yourselves when I ha' done.
It is too plain, too clear. Thomas, come hither. Well. My companions !
What, are they gone? Dow. Yes, sir, your companions, so I
I Cash. Ay, sir, they went in. am not afraid of you nor them neither, your hang- My mistress, and your sisterbys here. You must have your poets, and your Kite. Are any of the gallants within? potlings, your soldados and foolados, to follow Cash. No, sir, they are all gone. you up and down the city, and here they must Kite. Art thou sure of it? come to domineer and swagger. Sirrah,you bal Cash. I can assure you, sir. lad-singer; and Slops, your fellow there, get you Kite. What gentleman was it that they prais out; get you home; or, by this steel, I'll cut off ed so, Thomas your ears, and that presently.
Cash. One, they call him Master Kno'well, a Well. 'Slight, stay, let us see what he dare do. handsome young gentleman, sir. Cut off his ears! cut a whetstone. You are an Kite. Aye, I thought so. My mind gave me as ass, do you see; touch any man here, and by
much. this hand, I'll run my rapier to the hilts in you. I'll die but they have hid him in the house Dow. Yea, that would I fain see, boy.
Somewhere; I will go and search. Go with me, [They all draw, and they of the house make Thomas; out to part them.]
Be true to me, and thou shalt find me a master. Dame, 0, Jesu! murder! Thomas, Gasper !
[Ereunt. Bridg. Help, help, Thomas. E. Kno. Gentlemen, forbear, I pray you. Bob. Well, sirrah! you Holofernes! by my
SCENE II.- Moorfields. hand, I will pink your flesh full of holes with my rapier, for this; I will, by this good Heaven.
Enter E. KNO'WELL, WELL-BRED, and BRAINNay, let him come, gentlemen, by the body of St George, I'll not kill him.
E. Kno. Well, Brain-worm, perform this busi[They offer to fight again, and are parted. ness happily, and thou makest a purchase of my Cash. Hold, hold, good gentlemen.
love for ever. Dou. You whoreson, bragging coistril!
Well. In faith, now let thy spirits use their best
faculties; but at my hand, remember the mesEnter KITELY.
sage to my brother; for there is no other means Kite. Why, how now, what's the matter : to start him out of his house. What's the stir here?
Brain. I warrant you, sir, fear nothing. I Put up your weapons, and put off this
have a nimble soul has waked all forces of my My wife and sister, they're the cause of this. phantasy by this time, and put them in true moWhat, Thomas ! where is the knave?
tion. What you have possessed me withal, I'll Cash. Here, sir.
discharge it amply, sir. Make it no question. Well. Come, let us go; this is one of my bro
(Erit. ther's ancient humours, this.
(Erit. Well. Forth, and prosper, Brain-worm. Faith,
Ned, how dost thou approve of my abilities in found me, sir; for I will be sworn I was going this device?
along in the street, thinking nothing, when (of a E. Kno. Troth, well, howsoever: but it will sudden) a voice calls, Mr Kno’well's man;' 'anocome excellent, if it take.
other cries,' soldier;' and thus, half a dozen of Well. Take, man! Why, it cannot choose but them, till they had called me within a house, také, if the circumstances miscarry not. But where I no sooner came, but out fiew all their tell me ingenuously, dost thou affect my sister rapiers at my bosom, with some three or fourBridget as thou pretendest ?
score oaths to accompany them, and all to tell E. Kno. Friend, am I worth belief?
me, I was a dead man, if I did not confess where IVoll. Come, do not protest. In faith, she is you were, and how I was employed, and about a maid of good ornament, and much modesty; and what; which, when they could not get out of me, except I conceived very worthily of her, thou (as I protest they must have dissected me, and should'st not have her.
made an anatomy of me first, and so I told them), E. Kno. Nay, that, I am afraid, will be a ques- they locked me up into a room i' the top of a tion yet, whether I shall have her or no. high house, whence, by great miracle, having a
Well. 'Slid thou shalt have her; by this light, light heart, I slid down by a bottom of packthou shalt.
thread into the street, and so escaped. But, sir, E. Kno. Nay, do not swear.
thus much I can assure you; for I heard it while Well. By this hand, thou shalt have her. II was locked up; there were a great many rich will
go fetch her presently. Point but where to merchants, and brave citizens' wives with them, meet, and, as I am an honest man, I will bring at a feast, and your son, Mr Edward, withdrew her.
with one of them, and has appointed to meet her E. Kno. Hold, hold, be temperate.
anon, at one Cob's house, a water-bcarer, that Well. Why, by ---, what shall I swear by? dwells by the wall. Now, there your worship thou shalt have her, as I am
shall be sure to take him ; for there he preys, and E. Kno. Pray thee, be at peace; I am satis- fail he will not. fied, and do believe thou wilt omit no offered Kno. Nor will I fail to break his match, I occasion to make my desires complete.
doubt not. Well. Thou shalt see, and know I will not. Go thou along with justice Clement's man,
[Ereunt. And stay there for me. At one Cob's house,
say’st thou ? Enter FORMAL and KNO'WELL.
Brain. Aye, sir, there you shall have him. Form. Was your man a soldier, sir ?
[Erit Kxo’WELL.) Yes ! invisible! much wench, Kno. Aye, a knave; I took him begging o'the or much son! 'Slight, when he has staid there way,
three or four hours, travailling with the expectaThis morning, as I came over Moorficlds. tion of wonders, and at length be delivered of
air ! O, the sport that I should then take to look Enter BRAIN-WORM.
on him, if I durst! But now I mean to appear no Oh, here he is! you have made fair speed, be more before him in this shape. I have another lieve me.
trick to act yet. [To FORMAL.] Sir, I make you Where, in the name of sloth, could you be thus- stay somewhat long. Brain. Marry, peace be my comfort, where I
Form. Not a whit, sir; thought I should have had little comfort of your
You have been lately in the wars, sir, it seems ? · worship’s service.
Brain. Marry have I, sir, to my loss, and exKno. How so?
pence of all, almostBrain. Oh, sir ! your coming to the city, your Form. Troth, sir, I would be glad to bestow a entertainment of me, and your sending me to
bottle of wine on you, if it please you to accept watch-indeed, all the circumstances either of ityour charge, or my employment, are as open to Brain. O, sir your son, as to yourself.
Form. But to hear the manner of your serKno. How should that be! unless that villain, vices, and your devices, in the wars; they say Brain-worm,
they be very strange, and not like those a man Have told him of the letter, and discovered reads in the Roman histories, or sees at MileAll that I strictly charged him to conceal ? "Tis so.
End. Brain. I am partly o’that faith; 'tis so, indeed.
Brain. No, I assure you, sir ; why, at any kno. But how should he know you to be my man? time, when it please you, I shall be ready to dis
Brain. Nay, sir, I cannot 'tell; unless it be by course with you all I know; and more too, somethe black art ! Is not your son a scholar, sir ?
what. kno. Yes, but I hope his soul is not allied Form. No better time than now, sir. We will Unto such hellish practice; if it were,
go to the Windmill, there we shall have a cup of I had just cause to weep my part in him, neat grist, as we call it. I pray you, sir, let me And curse the time of his creation.
request you to the Windmill. But where didst thou find them, Fitz-Sword ? Brain. I will follow you, sir, and make grist of Bruin. You should rather ask, where they | you, if I have good luck.
tion with you.
Enter MATTHEW, EDWARD KNO'WELL, BOBA- done, say the enemy were forty thousand strong;
very near, or altogether, as well as myself. This DIL, and STEPHEN.
we twenty would come into the field the tenth Mat. Sir, did your eyes ever taste the like of March, or thereabouts; and we would chalclown of him, where we were to-day, Mr Well- lenge twenty of the enemy; they could not, in bred's balf brother? I think the whole earth can their honour, refuse us! Well, we would kill not shew his parallel, by this day-light.
them; challenge twenty more, kill them; twenty E. Kno. We are now speaking of him. Cap- more, kill them ; twenty more, kill them too; and tain Bobadil tells me he is fallen foul of you too. thus would we kill every man his twenty a day,
Mat. O aye, sir! he threatened me with the that's twenty score; twenty score, that's two hunbastinado.
dred; two hundred a-day, five days a thousand; Bob. Aye, but I think I taught you prevention forty thousand; forty times five, five times forty, this morning for that-You shall kill him beyond two hundred days, kill them all up by computaquestion, if you be so generously minded.
tion. And this I will venture my poor gentleMat. Indeed, it is a most excellent trick ! man-like carcase to perform, provided there be
Bub. O, you do not give spirit enough to your no treason practised upon us, by fair and discreet motion ; you are too tardy, too heavy! O, it must manhood, that is, civilly, by the sword. be done like lightning; hey!
E. Kno. Why, are you sure of your hand, cap(He practises at a post. tain, at all times? Mat. Rare captain !
Bob. Tut, never miss thrust, upon my reputaBob. Tut, 'tis nothing, an't be done in apunto!
E. Kno. I would not stand in Downright's E. Kno. Captain, did you ever prove yourself state, then, an' you meet him, for the wealth of upon any of our masters of defence here? any one street in London. Mat. O, good sir! yes, I hope he has.
Bob. Why, sir, you mistake! If he were here Bob. I will tell you, sir. They have assaulted now, by this welkin, I would not draw my weame some three, four, five, six of them together, pon on him! Let this gentleman do his mind : as I have walked alone in divers skirts of the but I will bastinado him, by the bright sun, wheretown, where I have driven them before me the ever I meet him. whole length of a street, in the open view of all Mat. Faith, and I'll have a fing at him, at my our gallants, pitying to hurt them, believe me. distance. Yet all this lenity will not overcome their spleen; they will be doing with the pismire, raising a hill,
Enter DOWNRIGHT, walking over the Stage. a man may spurn abroad with his foot at pleasure. E. Kno. God's so ! look ye whicre he is; yonBy myself, I could have slain them all; but I de- der he goes. light not in murder. I am loth to bear any other Dow. What peevish luck have I, I cannot meet than this bastinado for them; yet I hold it good with these bragging rascals ! policy not to go disarmed; for, though I be skil Bob. It's not he, is it? ful, I may be oppressed with multitudes.
E. Kno. Yes, faith, it is be! E. Kno. Aye, believe me, may you, sir ; and, Mat. I'll be hanged then, if that were he. in my conceit, our whole nation should sustain E. Kno. I assure you that was he. the loss by it, if it were so.
Step. Upon my reputation, it was he. Bob. Alas, no! What's a peculiar man to a Bob. Had I thought it had been he, he must Lation! Not seen.
not have gone so: but I can hardly be induced E. Kno, O, but your skill, sir !
to believe it was he yet, Bob. Indeed, that might be some loss; but E. Kno. That I think, sir. But see, he is come who respects it? I will tell you, sir, by the way again! of private, and under seal, I am a gentleman, and Dow. O, Pharaoh's foot! have I found you? live here obscure, and to myself: but were I Come, draw; to your tools. Draw, gipsey, or I'll known to his majesty, and the lords, observe me, I would undertake, upon this poor head and life, Bob. Gentleman of valour, I do believe in thee; for the public benefit of the state, not only to hear me spare the entire lives of his subjects in general, Dow, Draw your weapon, then. but to save the one-half, nay, three-parts of his Bob. Tall man, I never thought on't till now; yearly charge in holding war, and against what body of me! I had a warrant of the peace served enemy soever, And how would I do it, think you? on me even now, as I came along, by a water
E. Kno. Nay, I know not, nor can I conceive. bearer : this gentleman saw it, master Matthew, Bob. Why thus, sir. I would select nineteen (He beats him, and disarms him. MATTHEW more to myself, throughout the land; gentlemen runs away.] they should be, of good spirit, strong and able Dow. 'Sdeath, you will not draw, then ? constitution; I would chuse them by an instinct, Bob. Hold, hold, under thy favour, forbear, a character that I have; and I would teach these Dow. Prate again, as you like this, you whorenineteen the special rules, as, your Punto, your son foist you. You will controul the point, you ! Reverso, your Stoccata, your Imbroccata, your Your consort is gone; had he staid, he had shared Passada, your Montanto; till they could all play with you, sir.
E. Kno. Twenty, and kill them; twenty more, close to me-Oh me-[Sighs.] Lend me thy arm kill them too. Ha, ha!
--So, good Cash. Bob. Well, gentlemen, bear witness, I was Cash. You tremble, and look pale! Let me bound to the peace, by this good day.
call assistance. E. Kno. No, faith, it's an ill day, captain ; Kite. Not for ten thousand worlds -Alas! never reckon it other : but say you were bound alas ! it is not in medicine to give me ease-here, to the peace; the law allows you to defend your- here it lies. self; that will prove but a poor excuse.
Cash. What, sir? Bob. I cannot tell, sir. I desire good construc Kite. Why, nothing, nothing-I am not sick, tion, in fair sort. I never sustained the like dis- yet more than dead; I have a burning fever in grace, by Heaven. Sure I was struck with a pla- my mind, and long for that, which, having, would net thence, for I had no power to touch my wea- destroy me. pon,
Cush. Believe me, 'tis your fancy's imposition; E. Kno. Aye, like enough, I have heard of shut up your generous mind from such intruders many that have been beaten under a planet. Go, -I'll hazard all my growing favour with you ; get you to a surgeon. 'Slid, an' these be your I'll stake my present, my future welfare, that tricks, your passados, and your montantos, I'll some base whispering knave-nay, pardon me, none of them.
sir-hath, in the best and richest soil, sown seeds Bob. I was planet-struck, certainly. (Exit. of rank and evil nature ! O, my master, should E. Kíno. 0, manners ! that this age should they take root
(Laughing within. bring forth such creatures ! that nature should Kite. Hark! hark! dost thou not hear! what be at leisure to make them ! Come, coz. think'st thou now? Are they not laughing at me? Step. Mass, I'll have this cloak,
They are, they are. They have deceived the witE. Kno. God's will, 'tis Downright's. tol, and thus they triumph in their infamy-Step. Nay, it is mine now; another might have This aggravation is not to be borne. (Laughing taken it up as well as I. I'll wear it, so I will. again.) Hark, again !--Cash, do thou, unseen,
E. Kno. How an' he see it? He'll challenge steal in upon them, and listen to their wanton it, assure yourself.
conference. Slep. Aye, but he shall not have it ; I'll say I Cash. I shall obey you, though against my will. bought it.
(Erit. È. Kno. Take heed you buy it not too dear, Kite. Against his will ! Ha! it may be socoz.
be bribed for them--they've
various means to draw the unwary in: if it be so, SCENE III.- A Chamber in KITELY's House.
I'm lost, deceived, betrayed; and my bosom, my
full-fraught bosom, is unlocked and opened to Enter KITELY and Cash.
mockery and laughter! Heaven forbid ! He can
not be that viper; sting the hand, that raised and Kite. Art thou sure, Thomas, we have pryed cherished him! Was this stroke added, I should into all and every part throughout the house? Is be cursed. But it cannot be; no, it cannot be. there no bye-place, or dark corner, has escaped our searches
Enter CASH. Cash. Indeed, sir, none; there's not a hole or Cash. You are musing, sir. nook unsearched by us, from the upper loft unto Kite. I ask your pardon, Cash--ask me not the cellar.
why--I have wronged you, and am sorry—'tis Kite. They have conveyed him, then, away, or gone. hid him in some privacy of their own -Whilst Cash, If you suspect my faithwe were searching of the dark closet by my sis Kite. I do not--say no more--and, for my sake, ter's chamber, didst thou not think thou heardst let it die and be forgotten-Have you seen your a rustling on the other side, and a soft tread of mistress, and heard--whence was that noise ? feet?
Cash. Your brother, Master Well-bred, is with Cash. Upon my truth, I did not, sir; or if you them, and I found them throwing out their mirth did, it might be only the vermin in the wainscot; on a very truly ridiculous subject; it is one Forthe house is old, and over-run with them. mal, as he stiles himself, and he appertains, so
Kite. It is, indeed, Thomas-we should bane he phrases it, to Justice Clement, and would these rats--Dost thou understand mewe will speak with you. they shall not harbour here; I'll cleanse my Kite. With me! Art thou sure it is the jushouse from them, if fire or poison can effect it- tice's clerk? Where is he? I will not be tormented thus-They gnaw my brain, and burrow in my heart-I cannot bear it.
Enter BRAIN-WORM as FORMAL. Cash. I do not understand you, sir ! Good Who are you, friend? now, what is it disturbs you thus? Pray, be com Brain. An appendix to Justice Clement, vulposed; these starts of passion have some cause, garly called his clerk. I fear, that touches you more nearly.
Kite. What are your wants with me? Kile. Sorely, sorely, Thomas-it cleaves too Brain. None.
Kite. Do you not want to speak with me? Kite. With what a decent modesty she rates Brain. No, but my master does.
him! Kite. What are the justice's commands ? My heart's at ease, and she shall see it is Brain. He doth not command, but entreats How art thou, wife? Thou look'st both gay
and Master Kitely to be with him directly, having
comely, matters of some moment to communicate unto In troth thou dost. I'm sent for out, my dear, him.
But I shall soon return. Indeed, my life, Kite. What can it be? Say, I'll be with him Business, that forces me abroad, grows irksome. instantly; and if your legs, friend, go no faster I could content me with less gain and 'vantage, than your tongue, I shall be there before you. To have thee more at home; indeed I could. Brain. I will. Vale !
[Erit. Dame. Your doubts, as well as love, may breed Kite.
'Tis a precious fool, indeed !--I must go these thoughts. forth—But first, come hither, Thomas I have Kite. That jar untunes me.
[dside. admitted thee into the close recesses of my heart, What dost thou say? Doubt thee! and shewed thee all my frailties, passions, every I should as soon suspect myself-No, no, thing.
My confidence is rooted in thy merit, Be careful of thy promise, keep good watch. So fixed and settled, that, wert thou inclined Wilt thou be true, my Thomas ?
To masks, to sports, and balls, where lusty youth Cash. As truth's self, sir
the wanton dance, and the raised pulse But be assured you're heaping care and trouble Beats quicker measures, yet I could with joy, Upon a sandy base; ill-placed suspicion
With heart's ease and security-not but Recoils upon yourself--She's chasie as comely! I had rather thou should'st prefer thy home, Believe it, she is-Let her not note your hu- And me, to toys and such like vanities. mour;
Dume. But sure, my dear, Disperse the gloom upon your brow, and be A wife may moderately use these pleasures, As clear as her unsullied honour.
Which numbers and the time give sanction to, Kite. I will, then, Cash-thou comfortest me Without the smallest blemish on her name. l'u drive these
Kite. And so she may--And I'll go with thee, Fiend-like fancies from me, and be myself again.
child; Think'st thou, she has perceived my folly? 'Twere I will indeed—I'll lead thee there myself, Happy, if she had not-She has not
And be the foremost reveller. I'll silence They, who know no evil, will suspect none. The sneers of Envy, stop the tongue of Slander; Cash. True, sir, nor has your mind a blemish Nor will I more be pointed at, as one
Disturbed with jealousyThis change has gladdened me--Here's my mis Dame. Why, were you ever so? tress,
Kite. What !-Ha! never-ha, ha, ha! And the rest ; settle your reason to accost them. She stabs me home. (Aside.] Jealous of thee! Kite. I will, Cash, I will
No, do not believe it-Speak low, my love,
Thy brother will overhear us—No, no, my dear. Enter WELL-BRED, Dame KITELY,and BRIDGET. It could not be, it could not be-for-for
Well. What are you plotting, brother Kitely, What is the time now? I shall be too late-
(Laughs. Remaining! What do I say? There never was, Kite. My care is all for you, good sneering Nor can, nor ever shall be—so be satisfied brother;
Is Cob within there? Give me a kiss, And well I wish, you'd take some wholesome My dear; there, there, now we are reconciled-counsel,
I’li be back immediately-Good-bye, good-byeAnd curb your headstrong humours ; trust me, Ha! ha! jealous, I shall burst my sides with brother,
laughing, You were to blame to raise commotions here, Ha, ha! Cob, where are you, Cob? Ha, ha! And hurt the peace and order of my house.
[Erit, Well. No harm done, brother, I warrant you. [WELL-BRED and BRIDGET come forward. Since there is no harm done, anger costs
Well. What have you done to make your husA man nothing, and a brave man is never band part so merry from you? He has of late His own man, till he be angry--To keep
been little given to laughter. His valour in obscurity, is to keep himself, Dame. He laughed indeed, but seemingly As it were, in a cloak-bag. What's a brave without mirth. His behaviour is new and strange. Musician unless he play?
He is much agitated, and has some whimsy in What's a brave man unless he fight?
his head, that puzzles mine to read it. Dame. Aye, but what harm might have come Well. 'Tis jealousy, good sister, and writ so of it, brother?
largely, that the blind may read it ; have you not Well, What, schooled on both sides ! Pr’ythee, perceived it yet? Bridget, save me from the rod and lecture. Dame. If I have, 'tis not always prudent, that
[BRIDG. and WELL, retire. | my tongue should betray my eyes ; so far my