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something embolden'd me to this unreason'd intrufion; for they lay, if money go before, all ways do lie open.
Fal. Money is a good soldier, Sir, and will on.
Ferd. Troth, and I have a bag of money, here, troubles me: if you will help me to bear it, Sir John, take all, or half, for easing ipe of the carriage.
Fal. Sir, I know not how I may delęrve to be your porter,
Ford. I will tell you, Sir, if you will give me the hearing.
Fal. Speak, good master Brook, I shall be glad to be your servant.
Ford. Sir, I hear, you are a scholar ; (I will be brief with you ;) and you have been a man long knowo 10. me, tho' I had never so good means, as desire, to make myself acquainted with you : I Mall discover a thing to you, wherein I must very much lay open mine own imperfections; but good Sir Echn, as you have one eye upon my follies, as you hear them unfolded, turn another into the register of your own, that I may pass with a reproof the easier ; fith you yourself know, how easy it is to be such an offender.
Fal. Very well: Sir, proceed.
Ford. There is a gentlewoman in this town, her: husband's name is Ford.
Fol. Well, Sir.
Ford. I have long lov'd her; and, I protest to you, beitow'd much on her; follow'd her with a doating obfervance; ingross’d opportunities to meet her; fee'd every slight occafion, that could but niggardly give me sight of her; not only bought many presents, io give her, but have given largely to many, to know what the would have given : briefly, I have pursued her, as love hath pursu'd me, which hath been on the wing of all occasions. But whatsoever I have merited, cher in my mind, or in my means; meed, I am sure, I have received none ; unleis experience be a jewels that I have purchas'd at an infiniçe rate, and that hath taught me to say this; “ Love like a shadow fies, when substance love pursues; “ Pursuing that that flies, and Aying wbat pursues."
Fal. Have you receiv'd no promise of satisfaction at her hands?
Ford. Never, Fal. Have you importun'd her to such a purpose ? Ford. Never. Fal. Of what quality was your love then ? Ford. Like a fair house, built on another man's ground ; so that I have loft my edifice, by mistaking the place where I erected it.
Fal. To what purpose have you unfolded this to me: Ford. When I have told you that, I have told you all. Some say, that tho’ she appear honest to me, yet in other places the enlargeth her mirth so far, that there is fhrewd construction made of her. Now, Sir John, here is the heart of my purpose : You are a gentleman of excellent breeding, admirable discourse, of greac adınittance, authentick in your place and person, generally allow'd for your many war-like, court-like,, and learned preparations.
Fal. O Sir!
Ford. Believe it, for you know it;, there is money, fpend it, spend it; spend more, spend all I have, only give me so much of your time in exchange of it, as to lay an amiable fiege to the honesty of this Ford's wife a use your art of wooing, win her to consent to you ; if any man may, you may as soon as any.
Fal. Would it apply well to the vehemence of your affection, that I should win what you would enjoy } methinks, you prescribe to yourself very preposterously.
Ford. O, understand my drift ;. Nie dwells fo securely on the excellency of her honour, that the folly of my soul dares not present itself; she is too bright to be look'd against." Now, coald I come to her with any detection in my hand, my desires had instance and argument to commend themselves ; I could drive her then from the ward of her purity, her reputation, her marriage-vow, and a thousand other her defences, which now are too too ftrongly embasteld against me.. What say you to't, Sir John?
Fal. Master Brook, I will for it make bold with yoår: money s next give me your hand; and last, as I am & gentleman, you thall, if you will, enjoy Ford's wife.
Ford: O good Sir !
Mall want none; I Mall be with her, I may tell you, by herown appointment. Even as you came in to me, her affiftant, or go-between, parted from me; I say, 1 hall be with her between ten and eleven ; for at that time the jealous raícally knave, her husband, will be forth; come you to me at night, you hall know how I speed.
Furd. I am bleit in your acquaintance : do you koow Ford, Sir ?
Fal. Har.g him, poor cuckoldly knave, I know him Not : yet I wrong him, to call him foor; they fay, the jealous wittolly hnave hath masses of money,
fre the which his wile seems to me well-favoury. I will use her as the key of the cuckoldly-rogue's coffer; and there's my harveit-home,
Ford. I would you knew Ford, Sir, that you might avoid him, if you
saw him, Fal. Hang him, mechanical-salt-butter rogue; I will ttare him out of his wits; I wilt awe him with my cudgel; it shall hang like a meteor o'er the cuckold's horns. Mafter Brock tħou fhalt know, I will pre. dominate over the peasant; and thou shalt lie with his wife : Come to me soon at night ; Ford's a knave, and I will aggravare his file: thou, master Brook, shalt. linow him for knave and cuckold : come to me foon at night.
[Exit. Ford. What a damn’d Epicurean rascal is this! my heart is ready to crack with impatience. Who says, this is improvident jealousy? my wife hath fent to him, the hour is fixt, the match is made; would any man have thought this ? fee che hell of having a falle woman! my
bed Mall be abus'd, my coffers ransack'd, ay reputation gnawn at; and I hall not only receive
this villainous wrong, but stand under the adoption of abominable terms, and by him that does me the wrong. Terms, names ; Amaimon founds well, Lucifer, well; Barbajon, well; yet they are devils additions, the names of fiends : but cuckoid, wittol, cuckold! the devil himlelf hath not such a name.
Page is an ass, a secure ass, he will truft his wife; he will not be jealous : I will rather truft a Fleming with my butter, parfon Fingh. the Welchman with my cheese, an Irish-man with my aquavite bottle, or a thief to walk my ambling gelding, than my wife with her felf: then she plots, then The ruminates, then the devises : and what they think in their hearts they may effect, they will break their hearts but they will effect. Heav'n be prais'd for ny jealousy! Eleven o'clock the hour; I will prevent this, derece my wife, he reveng'd on Falaff, and laugh at Page: I will about it: betier three hours too soon, than a minute too late. Fy,, fy, fy ; cuckold, cuckold, cuckold !
[Ex.ba SCENE changes to IVindfor-Park.
Enter Caius and Rugby, Caius. ACK Rugby!
Rug. Sir. Caius. Vat is de clock, Jack? Rug. 'Tis past the hour, Sir, that Sir Hugh promis'd
Caius. By gar, he has save his soul, dat he is no come; he has pray his pible well, dat he is no come : by gar, Jack Rugby, he is dead already, if he be come.
Rug. He is wile, Sir; he knew, your worship would kill him, if he came.
Caius. By gar, de herring is not so dead as me vill make him. Take your rapier, Jack į I vill tell you how I vill kill him.
Rug. Alas, Sir, I cannot fence.
. Rug. Forbear; here's company,
Enter Hoft, Shallow, Slender and Page.
Hoft. To see thee fight, to see thee foigne, to fee thee traverse, to see thee here, to see thee there, to see thee pass thy puncto, thy stock, thy reverse, thy distance, thy montant. Is he dead, my Ethiopean? Is he dead, my Francisco? ha, bully? what says my Æfcua lapius? my Galen? my heart of elder i ha? is he dead, bully-itale? is he dead?
Caius. By gar, he is de coward Jack-prief of de vorld ; he is not show his face.
Hof. Thou art a Castalion-king-Urinal: Hector of Greeie, my boy.
Caius. I pray you bear witness, that me have stay fix. or seven, two tree hours for him, and he is no come.
Shal. He is the wiser man, Mr. Doctor, he is a curer of fouls, and you a curer of bodies: if you should fight, you go against the hair of your profésüons : ls it not true, maler Page ?
Page. Mafter Shallow, you have yourself been a great fighter, tho' now a man of peace.
Shal. Body-kins, Mr. Page, tho' I now. be old, and of peace, if I see a sword out, my finger itches to make one; tho we are justices, and doctors, and churche men, Mr. Page, we have some salt of our youth in usj we are the sons of women, Mr. Page... Page. 'Tis true, Mr. Shaļlow.
Shal. It will be found so, Mr. Page. Mr. Doctor Caius, I am come to fetch you home; I am sworn of the peace : you have lhew'd yourself a wise physician, and Sir Hugh hath fewn himself a wise and patient church-man : you must go with me, Mr. Doctor.
Helt. Pardon, gueft-justice; a word, monsieur mocke water,