Quic. Well, the laments, Sir, for it, that it would yern your heart to fee it. Her husband goes this morning a birding; fhe defires you once more to come to her between eight and nine, I must carry her word quickly; he'll make you amends, I warrant you.

Fal. Well, I will vifit her; tell her fo, and bid her. think, what a man is: let her confider his frailty, and then judge of my merit.

Quic. I will tell her.

Fal. Do fo. Between nine and tèn, say'st thou ? · Quic. Eight and nine, Sir.

Fal. Well, be gone; I will not miss her.

Quic. Peace be with you, Sir.

[Exit.

Fal. I marvel, I hear not of mafter Brook; he fent

me word to stay within: I like his money well. Oh, here he comes.

Enter Ford.

Ford. Blefs you, Sir.

Fal. Now, mafter Brook, you come to know what hath pass'd between me and Ford's wife.

Ford. That, indeed, Sir John, is my business. Fal. Mafter Brook, I will not lye to you; I was at her house the hour she appointed me.

Ford. And you fped, Sir?

Fal. Very ill-favour'dly, mafter Brook.

Ford. How, Sir, did fhe change her determination ? Fal. No, mafter Brook; but the peaking cornuto her husband, mafter Brook, dwelling in a continual larum of jealoufy, comes me in the inftant of our encounter; after we had embrac'd, kiss'd, protested, and as it were spoke the prologue of our comedy; and at his heels a rabble of his companions, thither provok'd and inftigated by his diftemper, and, forfooth, to fearch his houfe for his wife's love.

Ford. What, while you were there?
Fal. While I was there.

Ford. And did he fearch for you, and could not find
Fal. You fhall hear.

you?

As good luck would have it,

N 5

comes

comes in one miftrefs Page, gives intelligence of Ford's approach, and by her invention, and Ford's wife's dif traction, they convey'd me into a buck-basket.

Ford. A buck-basket?

Fal. Yea, a buck-basket; ramm'd me in with foul fhirts and fmocks, focks, foul ftockings, and greafy napkins; that, mafter Brook, there was the rankest compound of villainous fmell, that ever offended noftril.

Ford. And how long lay you there?

Fal. Nay, you shall hear, mafter Brook, what I have fuffer'd, to bring this woman to evil for your good. Being thus cramın'd in the basket, a couple of Ford's knaves, his hinds, were call'd forth by their mistress, to carry me in the name of foul cloaths to Datchet -lane; they took me on their fhoulders, met the jealous knave their master in the door, who ask❜d them once or twice what they had in their basket; I quak'd for fear, left the lunatic kuave would have fearch'd it; but fate, ordaining he should be a cuckold, held his hand. Well, on went he for a fearch, and away went I for foul cloaths; but mark the fequel, matter Brook; I fuffered the pangs of three egregious deaths: firft, an intolerable fright, to be detected by a jealous rotten bell-weather; next to compafs'd like a good bilbo, in the circumference of a peck, hilt to point, heel to head; and then to be topt in, like a strong distillation, with ftinking cloaths that fretted in their own greafe: think of that, a man of my kidney; think of that, that am as fubject to heat as butter; a man of continual diffolution and thaw; it was a miracle to 'cape fuffocation. And in the height of this bath, when I was more than half ftew'd in grease, like a Dutch dish, to be thrown into the Thames, and cool'd glowing hot, in that furge, like a horfe-fhoe; think of that; hiffing hot; think of that, mafter Brook.

Ford. In good fadness, Sir, I am forry that for my fake you fuffer'd all this. My fuit is then defperate; you'll undertake her no more?

Fal. Mafter Breck, I will be thrown into Etna, as I

have

have been into Thames, ere I will leave her thus. Her husband is this morning gone a birding; I have receiv'd from her another embaffy of meeting; 'twixt eight and nine is the hour, mafter Brook.

Ford. 'Tis paft eight already, Sir.

ment.

Fal. Is it I will then addrefs me to my appointCome to me at your convenient leifure, and you fhall know how I fpeed; and the conclufion shall be crown'd with your enjoying her; adieu, you shall have her, master Brook; master Brook, you shall cuckold Ford. [Exit.

Ford. Hum! ha! is this a vifion? is this a dream? do I fleep? mafter Ford, awake; awake, master Ford; there's a hole made in your best coat, mafter Ford; this 'tis to be married! this 'tis to have linen and buck-baskets! well, I will proclaim myfelf what I am; I will now take the leacher; he is at my house; he cannot 'scape me; 'tis impoffible, he should; he cannot creep into a halff-penny purfe, nor into a pepperbox. But, left the devil that guides him should aid him, I will fearch impoffible places ; .tho' what I am I cannot avoid, yet to be what I would not, shall not make me tame: if I have horns to make one mad, let the proverb go with me, I'll be horn-mad.

[Exit.

SCENE, Page's Houfe.

Enter Miftrefs Page, Mistress Quickly, and William.

Mrs. PAGE.

S he at Mr. Ford's already, think't thou?"

Quic. Sure, he is by this, or will be presently; but truly he is very courageous mad, about his throwing into the water; Mrs. Ford defires you to come fuddenly. Mrs. Page. I'll be with her by and by; I'll but bring my young man here to fchool. Look, where his mater

comes.

comes; 'tis a playing-day, I fee. How now, Sir Hugh, no fchool to-day ?

Enter Evans.

Eva. No; mafter Slender is let the boys leave to play.

Quic. Bleffing of his heart.

Mrs. Page. Sir Hugh, my hufband fays, my fon profits nothing in the world at his book; I pray you, ak him fome questions in his accidence.

Eva. Come hither, William; hold up your head,

come.

Mrs. Page. Come on, Sirrah, hold up your head; anfwer your mafter, be not afraid.

Eva. William, how many numbers is in nouns ?
Will. Two.

Quic. Truly, I thought there had been one number more, because they fay od's nouns.

Eva. Peace your tatlings. What is, Fair, William? Will. Pulcher.

Quic. Poulcats there are fairer things than poulcats, fure.

Eva. You are a very fimplicity o'man; I pray you, peace. What is, Lapis, William?

Will. A ftone.

Eva. And what is a ftone, William?

Will. A pebble.

Eva. No, it is Lapis: I pray you, remember in your prain.

Will. Lapis.

Eva. That is a good William: what is he, William, that does lend articles?

Will. Articles are borrow'd of the pronoun, and be thus declin'd, fingulariter nominativo, hic, hæc, hoc. Eva. Nominativo, big, bag, bog; pray you, mark: genitivo, hujus: well, what is your accufative cafe? Will. Accufative, hinc.

Eva. I pray you have your remembrance, child; accufative, bung, bang, bog.

Quic. Hang hog is Latin for bacon, I warrant you.

Eva. Leave your prabbles, o'man. focative cafe, William?

Will. O, vocativo, O.

What is the

Eva. Remember, William, focative is caret.

Quic. And that's a good root.

Eva. O'man, forbear.

Mrs. Page. Peacé.

Eva. What is your genitive cafe plural, William?
Will. Genitive cafe?

Eva. Ay.

Will. Genitive, borum, harum, borum.

Quic. 'Vengeance of Ginyes cafe; fy on her; never name her, child, if she be a whore.

Eva. For fhame, o'man.

Quic. You do ill to teach the child fuch words: he teaches him to hick and to hack, which they'll do fast enough of themselves; and to call horum; fy upon you!

Eva. O'man, art thou lunacies? haft thou no underftandings for thy cafes, and the numbers of the genders? thou art as foolish christian creatures, as I would defire. Mrs. Page. Pr'ythee, hold thy peace.

Eva. Shew me now, William, fome declenfions of your pronouns.

Will. Forfooth, I have forgot.

Eva. It is, qui, quæ, quod; if you forget your quies, your ques, and your quods, you must be preeches: go your ways and play, go.

Mrs. Page. He is a better scholar, than I thought he

was.

Eva. He is a good sprag memory. Farewel; Mrs. Page.

Mrs. Page. Adieu, good Sir Hugh. Get you home, boy. Come, we stay too long.

[Exeunt.

SCENE changes to Ford's House.

Enter Falstaff and Miftrefs Ford.

Fal. M fufferance; I fee you are obfequious in

your love, and I profefs requital to a hair's breadth;

not