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SCENE I.- Another part of the Same. What is a, b, spelt backward with the horn on his
head ? Enter HOLOFERNES, Sir NATHANIEL, and DULL.
Hol. Ba, pueritia, with a horn added. Hol. Satis quod sufficit.
Moth. Ba! most silly sheep, with a horn.—You Nath. I praise God for you, sir : your reasons at hear his learning dinner have been sharp and sententious; pleasant Hol. Quis, quis, thou consonant? without scurrility, witty without affection, audacious Moth. The third of the five vowels, if you repeat without impudency, learned without opinion, and them; or the fifth, if I. strange without heresy. I did converse this quondam Hol. I will repeat them, a, e, i.day with a companion of the king's, who is intituled, Moth. The sheep: the other two concludes it; o, u. nominated, or called, Don Adriano de Armado. Arm. Now, by the salt wave of the Mediterranean,
Hol. Novi hominem tanquam te: bis humour is a sweet touch, a quick venew of wit! snip, snap, lofty, his discourse peremptory, his tongue filed, his quick and home: it rejoiceth my intellect; true wit! eye ambitious, his gait majestical, and his general Moth. Offer'd by a child to an old man; which is behaviour vain, ridiculous, and thrasonical. He is wit-old. too picked, too spruce, too affected, too odd, as it Hol. What is the figure? what is the figure ? were, too perigrinate, as I may call it.
Moth. Horns. Nath. A most singular and choice epithet.
Hol. Thou disputest like an infant: go, whip thy [Draws out his table-book. gig. Hol. He draweth out the thread of his verbosity Moth. Lend me your horn to make one, and I finer than the staple of his argument. I abbor such will whip about your infamy circùm circà. A gig of fanatical phantasms, such insociable and point-devise a cuckhold's horn! companions; such rackers of orthography, as to Cost. An I had but one penny in the world, thou speak dout, fine, when he should say, doubt; det, shouldst have it to buy gingerbread: hold, there is when he should pronounce, debt-d, e, b, t, not d|| the very remuneration I had of thy master, thou e, t: he clepeth a calf, cauf; half, hauf;
neighbour half-penny purse of wit, thou pigeon-egg of discretion. vocatur nebur; neigh abbreviated ne. This is ab- || O! an the heavens were so pleased, that thou wert hominable, (which he would call abominable,) it in but my bastard, what a joyful father wouldst thou sinuateth me of insanie : ne intelligis domine ? to
Go to; thou hast it ad dunghill, at the make frantic, lunatic.
fingers' ends, as they say. Nath. Laus Deo, bone intelligo.
Hol. O! I smell false Latin ; dunghill for unguem. Hol. Bone?-bone, for bene: Priscian a little Arm. Arts-man, præambula: we will be singled scratch'd ; 'twill serve.
from the barbarous. Do you not educate youth at
the charge-house on the top of the mountain ? Enter ARMADO, Moth, and CoSTARD.
'Hol. Or mons, the hill. Nath. Videsne quis venit ?
Arm. At your sweet pleasure for the mountain. Hol. Video, et gaudeo.
Hol. I do, sans question. Arm. Chirrah !
[To Moth. Arm. Sir, it is the king's most sweet pleasure and Hol. Quare Chirrah, not sirrah ?
affection, to congratulate the princess at her pavilion Arm. Men of peace, well encounter'd.
in the posteriors of this day, which the rude mulHol. Most military sir, salutation.
titude call the afternoon. Moth. They have been at a great feast of languages, Hol. The posterior of the day, most generous sir, and stolen the scraps.
is liable, congruent, and measurable for the afternoon: Cost. O! they have lived long on the alms-basket the word is well cull’d, chose ; sweet and apt, I do of words. I marvel thy master hath not eaten thee assure you, sir; I do assure. for a word; for thou art not so long by the head as Arm. Sir, the king is a noble gentleman, and my honorificabilitudinitatibus : thou art easier swallowed familiar, I do assure you, very good friend.—For than a flap-dragon.
what is inward between us, let it pass.—I do beseech Moth. Peace! the peal begins.
thee, remember thy courtesy ;-I beseech thee, apArm. Monsieur, [To Hol.) are you not letter'd ? parel thy head :—and among other important and Moth. Yes, yes; he teaches boys the horn-book. most serious designs,—and of great import indeed,
too,—but let that pass ;—for I must tell thee, it will of this day, to be rendered loy our assistance,-the please his grace (by the world) sometime to lean upon king's command, and this most gallant, illustrate, my poor shoulder, and with his royal finger, thus dally and learned gentleman,-before the princess, I say, with my excrement, with my mustachio: but, sweet none so fit as to present the nine Worthies. heart, let that pass. By the world, I recount no Nath. Where will you find men worthy enough fable : some certain special honours it pleaseth his to present them? greatness to impart to Armado, a soldier, a man of Hol. Joshua, yourself; myself, or this gallant travel, that hath seen the world; but let that pass.- gentleman, Judas Maccabeus; this swain, (because
all of all is,—but, sweet heart, I do im of his great limb or joint,) shall pass Pompey the plore secresy,—that the king would have me present | great; the page, Hercules. the princess, sweet chuck, with some delightful os Arm. Pardon, sir; error: he is not quantity tentation, or show, or pageant, or antick, or fire enough for that worthy's thumb: he is not so big work. Now, understanding that the curate and as the end of his club. your sweet self are good at such eruptions, and Hol. Shall I have audience ? he shall present sudden breaking out of mirth, as it were, I have Hercules in minority: his enter and erit shall be acquainted you withal, to the end to crave your as strangling a snake; and I will have an apology for sistance.
that purpose. Hol. Sir, you shall present before her the nine Moth. An excellent device! so, if any of the Worthies.—Sir Nathaniel, as concerning some audience hiss, you may cry, “ Well done, Hercules! entertainment of time, some show in the posterior || now thou crushest the snake!” that is the way to
make an oftence gracious, though few have the || play on the tabor to the Worthies, and let them grace to do it.
dance the hay. Arm. For the rest of the Worthies ?
Hol. Most dull, honest Dull. To our sport, Hol. I will play three myself.
[Ereunt. Moth. Thrice-worthy gentleman! Arm. Shall I tell you a thing ?
SCENE II.—Another part of the Same. Before the
Enter the Princess, KATHARINE, Rosaline, and
MARIA. word all this while.
Prin. Sweet hearts, we shall be rich ere we depart, Dull. Nor understood none neither, sir.
If fairings come thus plentifully in :
A lady wall'd about with diamonds !
Ros. Madam, came nothing else along with that? O! that I knew he were but in by the week! Prin. Nothing but this ? yes; as much love in How I would make him fawn, and beg, and seek, rhyme,
And wait the season, and observe the times, As would be cramm'd up in a sheet of paper, And spend his prodigal wits in bootless rhymes, Writ on both sides the leaf, margin and all,
And shape his service wholly to my behests, That he was fain to seal on Cupid's name.
And make him proud to make me proud that jests: Ros. That was the way to make his god-head So portent-like would I o'ersway his state, wax;
That he should be my fool, and I his fate. For he hath been five thousand years a boy.
Prin. None are so surely caught, when they are Kath. Ay, and a shrewd unhappy gallows too.
catch'd, Ros. You'll ne'er be friends with him: a' kill'd As wit turn'd fool: folly, in wisdom hatch’d, your sister.
Hath wisdom's warrant, and the help of school, Kath. He made her melancholy, sad, and heavy; And wit's own grace to grace a learned fool. And so she died : had she been light, like you,
Ros. The blood of youth burns not with such Of such a merry, nimble, stirring spirit,
excess, She might a' been a grandam ere she died;
As gravity's revolt to wantonness. And so may you, for a light heart lives long.
Mar. Folly in fools bears not so strong a pote, Ros. What's your dark meaning, mouse, of this As foolery in the wise, when wit doth dote; light word?
Since all the power thereof it doth apply, Kath. A light condition in a beauty dark.
To prove by wit worth in simplicity. Ros. We need more light to find your meaning
Enter Boyet. Kath. You'll mar the light by taking it in snuff; Prin. Here comes Boyet, and mirth is in his face. Therefore, I'll darkly end the argument.
Boyet. Q! I am stabb’d with laughter. Where's Ros. Look, what you do, you do it still i' the her grace? dark.
Prin. Thy news, Boyet ? Kath. So do not you, for you are a light wench. Boyet.
Prepare, madam, prepare ! Ros. Indeed, I weigh not you, and therefore light. | Arm, wenches, arm! encounters mounted are Kath. You weigh me not ?—0! that's you care Against your peace. Love doth approach disguis’d, not for me.
Armed in arguments: you'll be surpris'd. Ros. Great reason; for, past cure is still past care. Muster your wits; stand in your own defence,
Prin. Well bandied both; a set of wit well play'd. Or hide your heads like cowards, and fly hence. But Rosaline, you have a favour too:
Prin. Saint Dennis to saint Cupid ! What are Who sent it? and what is it?
I would you knew : That charge their breath against us? say, scout, say. An if my face were but as fair as your's,
Boyet. Under the cool shade of a sycamore, My favour were as great : be witness this.
I thought to close mine eyes some half an hour, Nay, I have verses too, I thank Biron.
When, lo! to interrupt my purpos'd rest, The numbers true; and, were the numb'ring too, Toward that shade I might behold addrest I were the fairest goddess on the ground:
The king and his companions : warily I am compar'd to twenty thousand fairs.
I stole into a neighbour thicket by, 0! he hath drawn my picture in his letter.
And overheard what you shall overhear; Prin. Any thing like?
That by and by disguis'd they will be here. Ros. Much, in the letters, nothing in the praise. Their herald is a pretty knavish page, Prin. Beauteous as ink: a good conclusion. That well by heart hath conn’d his embassage : Kath. Fair as a text B in a copy-book.
Action, and accent, did they teach him there; Ros. 'Ware pencils! How ? let me not die your “ Thus must thou speak, and thus thy body bear :" debtor,
And ever and anon they made a doubt My red dominical, my golden letter:
Presence majestical would put him out; O that your face were not so full of O's!
“For," quoth the king, “ an angel shalt thou see; Prin. A pox of that jest ! and I beshrew all shrows ! Yet fear not thou, but speak audaciously.” But, Katharine, what was sent to you from fair The boy replied, “ An angel is not evil; Dumaine ?
I should have feared her, had she been a devil.” Kath. Madam, this glove.
With that all laugh’d, and clapp'd him on the Prin.
Did he not send you twain? shoulder, Kath. Yes, madam; and, moreover,
Making the bold wag by their praises bolder. Some thousand verses of a faithful lover:
One rubb'd his elbow thus, and fleer'd and swore A huge translation of hypocrisy,
A better speech was never spoke before : Vilely compil'd, profound simplicity.
Another, with his finger and his thumb, Mar. This, and these pearls to me sent Longa- Cry'd "Via! we will do't, come what will come :” ville :
The third he caper'd, and cried, “ All goes well :" The letter is too long by half a mile.
The fourth turn'd on the toe, and down he fell. Prin. I think no less. Dost thou not wish in With that, they all did tumble on the ground, heart,
With such a zealous laughter, so profound,
Prin. But what, but what, come they to visit Prin. We are wise girls to mock our lovers so.
us ? Ros. They are worse fools to purchase mocking Boyet. They do, they do ; and are apparel'd
thus,That same Biron I'll torture ere I
Their purpose is, to parle, to court, and dance ; That some plain man recount their purposes. And every one his love-feat will advance
Know what they would. Unto his several mistress; which they'll know Boyet. What would you with the princess ? By favours several which they did bestow.
Biron. Nothing but peace, and gentle visitation. Prin. And will they so? the gallants shall be Ros. What would they, say they ? task'd;
Boyet. Nothing but peace, and gentle visitation. For, ladies, we will every one be mask'd,
Ros. Why, that they have; and bid them so be And not a man of them shall have the grace,
gone. Despite of suit, to see a lady's face.
Boyet. She says, you have it, and you may be Hold, Rosaline; this favour thou shalt wear,
gone. And then the king will court thee for his dear: King. Say to her, we have measur'd many miles, Hold, take you this, my sweet, and give me thine, To tread a measure with her on this grass. So shall Biron take me for Rosaline.
Boyet. They say,
that they have measur'd many And change you favours, too; so shall your loves
a mile, Woo contrary, deceiv'd by these removes.
To tread a measure with you on this grass. Ros. Come on then : wear the favours most in Ros. It is not so: ask them how many inches sight.
Is in one mile ? if they have measur'd many, Kath. But in this changing what is your intent? The measure then of one is easily told.
Prin. The effect of my intent is, to cross theirs : Boyet. If, to come hither you have measur’d They do it but in mockery, merriment;
miles, And mock for mock is only my intent.
And many miles, the princess bids you tell, Their several counsels they unbosom shall
How many inches do fill up one mile. To loves mistook; and so be mock'd withal,
Biron. Tell her, we measure them by weary Upon the next occasion that we meet,
steps. With visages display'd, to talk, and greet.
Boyet. She hears herself. Ros. But shall we dance, if they desire us to't? Ros.
How many weary steps, Prin. No; to the death, we will not move a foot : Of many weary miles you have o'ergone, Nor to their penn'd speech render we no grace; Are number'd in the travel of one mile ? But, while 'tis spoke, each turn away her face. Biron. We number nothing that we spend for you: Boyet. Why, that contempt will kill the speaker's Our duty is so rich, so infinite, heart,
That we may do it still without accompt. And quite divorce his memory from his part. Vouchsafe to show the sunshine of your face,
Prin. Therefore I do it; and, I make no doubt, That we, like savages, may worship it. The rest will ne'er come in, if he be out.
Ros. My face is but a moon, and clouded too. There's no such sport, as sport by sport o'erthrown; King. Blessed are clouds, to do as such clouds do! To make theirs ours, and ours none but our own: Vouchsafe, bright moon, and these thy stars, to shine So shall we stay, mocking intended game;
(Those clouds remo
noved) upon our watery eyne. And they, well mock'd, depart away with shame. Ros. O, vain petitioner! beg a greater matter;
[Trumpets sound within. Thou now request'st but moonshine in the water. Boyet. The trumpet sounds : be mask'd, the King. Then, in our measure do but vouchsafe one maskers come.
[The Ladies mask. change.
Thou bid'st me beg; this begging is not strange. Enter the King, Biron, LONGAVILLE, and Du
Ros. Play, music, then! nay, you must do it soon. MAINE, in Russian habits, and masked ; Moth,
Music plays. Musicians, and Attendants.
Not yet ;- no dance :thus change I like the moon. Moth. “All hail, the richest beauties on the earth!" King. Will you not dance? How come you thus Biron. Beauties no richer than rich taffata.
estranged? Moth. “A holy parcel of the fairest dames, Ros. You took the moon at full, but now she's
[The Ladies turn their backs to him. changed. That ever turn'd their backs to mortal views !"
King. Yet still she is the moon, and I the man. Biron. “ Their eyes,” villain, “their eyes." The music plays : vouchsafe some motion to it. Moth. “ That ever turn'd their eyes to mortal Ros. Our ears vouchsafe it. views!
But your legs should do it. Out"
Ros. Since you are strangers, and come here by Boyet. True; "out," indeed.
chance, Moth. “Out of your favours, heavenly spirits, We'll not be nice. Take hands :—we will not dance. vouchsafe
King. Why take we hands then? Not to behold''
Only to part friends.Biron. Once to behold,” rogue.
Court'sy, sweet hearts; and so the measure ends. Moth. “Once to behold with your sun-beamed King. More measure of this measure: be not nice. eyes,
Ros. We can afford no more at such a price. with your sun-beamed eyes"
King. Prize you yourselves? What buys your Boyet. They will not answer to that epithet ;
company ? You were best call it daughter-beamed eyes.
Ros. Your absence only. Moth. They do not mark me, and that brings me King.
That can never be.
Ros. Then cannot we be bought; and so adieu. Biron. Is this your perfectness ? be gone, you Twice to your visor, and half once to you! rogue.
King. If y you deny to dance, let's hold more chat. Ros. What would these strangers ? know their Ros. In private then. minds, Boyet.
I am best pleas'd with that. If they do speak our language, 'tis our will
[ They converse apurt.
Biron. White-handed mistress, one sweet word Boyet. The tongues of mocking wenches are as with thee.
keen Prin. Honey, and milk, and sugar : there are As is the razor's edge invisible, three.
Cutting a smaller hair than may be seen ; Biron. Nay then, two treys, (an if you grow so Above the sense of sense, so sensible nice,)
Seemeth their conference; their conceits have wings, Metheglin, wort, and malmsey.-Well run, dice ! Fleeter than arrows, bullets, wind, thought, swifter There's half a dozen sweets.
Seventh sweet, adieu. Ros. Not one word more, my maids : break off, Since you can cog, I'll play no more with you.
break off. Biron. One word in secret.
Biron. By heaven, all dry-beaten with pure scoff! Prin. Let it not be sweet. King. Farewell
, mad wenches: you have simple Biron. Thou griev'st my gall.
wits. Prin. Gall ? bitter.
[Exeunt King, Lords, Moth, Music, and Biron, Therefore meet.
Attendants. [They converse apart. Prin. Twenty adieus, my frozen Muscovites. Dum. Will you vouchsafe with me to change a Are these the breed of wits so wonder'd at? word ?
Boyet. Tapers they are, with your sweet breaths Mar. Name it.
puff'd out. Dum. Fair lady,–
Ros. Well-liking wits they have; gross, gross ; Mar. Say you so ? Fair lord.
fat, fat. Take that for your fair lady.
Prin. O, poverty in wit, kingly-poor flout ! Dum. Please it you,
Will they not, think you, hang themselves to-night, As much in private, and I'll bid adieu.
Or ever, but in visors, show their faces ? [They converse apart. This pert Biron was out of countenance quite. Kath. What, was your visor made without a Ros. They were all in lamentable cases ! tongue?
The king was weeping-ripe for a good word. Long. I know the reason, lady, why you ask. Prin. Biron did swear himself out of all suit. Kalh. O, for your reason! quickly, sir; I long. Mar. Dumaine was at my service, and his sword : Long. You have a double tongue within your No point, quoth I: my servant straight was mute. mask,
Kath. Lord Longaville said, I came o'er his heart; And would afford my speechless visor half.
And trow you, what he call'd me? Kath. Veal, quoth the Dutchman.—Is not veal Prin.
Qualm, perhaps. a calf ?
Kath. Yes, in good faith. Long. A calf, fair lady?
Go, sickness as thou art! Kath. No, a fair lord calf.
Ros. Well, better wits have worn plain statuteLong. Let's part the word.
No; I'll not be your half: || But will you hear ? the king is my love sworn. Take all, and wean it: it may prove an ox.
Prin. And quick Biron hath plighted faith to me. Long. Look, how you butt yourself in these sharp Kath. And Longaville was for my service born. mocks.
Mar. Dumaine is mine, as sure as bark on tree. Will you give horns, chaste lady? do not so.
Boyet. Madam, and pretty mistresses, give ear. Kath. Then die a calf
, before your horns do grow. Immediately they will again be here Long. One word in private with you, ere I die. In their own shapes; for it can never be, Kath. Bleat softly then: the butcher hears you | They will digest this harsh indignity. cry.
[They converse apart. Prin. Will they return ?