The Dark Sides of Empathy from Fritz Breithaupt makes the general argument about empathy that, I think, can be made about just about any aspect of human feeling and behavior, namely that there are more sides than the one we generally perceive.

I have mixed feelings about this book, but less because of the conclusion than because of the structures and arguments constructed in making his argument. In other words, I agree that empathy, just like love and selfishness/selflessness, can have negative as well as positive outcomes. I just disagree with some of what he calls empathy as well as some of what he claims isn't empathy. It seemed to me that he made his case far more convoluted than it had to be, and in doing so overstepped in his structuring of what is and is not empathy or empathetic feelings.

I found some of his readings to be very good, particularly of Nietzsche in the first chapter. I have a couple minor disagreements there but that could largely be from the context within which I first studied those texts. I did not, however, think some of his connections were as strong as he believes them to be.

In short, I think he could have made his case with a lot less mental gymnastics. I think he could lose some readers through minor disagreements when a more basic argument might have brought more agreement. I don't buy all of his categories or his architecture. I don't dismiss them out of hand either, I just am not convinced based on this book, my previous readings in the area, and my life experiences. Yet those same factors are exactly why I agree with his conclusion, that empathy is far more nuanced than popular opinion currently believes.

A quote from an interview he did sums up much of what I agree with: "Yes, we're biologically primed for it [empathy], but we also have to cultivate it, and cultivation is something that can [be a] lifelong learning task." That cultivation is how we can minimize the negative or darker aspects while enhancing the positive.

I do recommend this to readers who want to understand empathy better. We are told in many venues to be empathetic, but that is far too broad of a statement, there are times to temper our empathy, even if only for a short time until we have more information. Breithaupt's book will help you to think about when these times might be, and any additional self-knowledge we gain is a positive.

Reviewed from a copy made available by the publisher via NetGalley. ( )